Anyone feel like some critique? (1 Viewer)

Ringo

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You know what they say, it's good to teach.... so therefore it must be good to mark other people's work ;) These are some intros I've been working on. They're just introductions to the last two HSC exam questions. I'll post question, then intro.
If anyone could critique them for me, I'd be grateful. I just need to know if I'm addressing the question, intriducing a thesis etc.

How has your understanding of the consequences of change been shaped by the techniques used by various composers?

Change has many effects upon its subjects, and these consequences of change in self are represented by a plethora of literary and film techniques. In My Place , by Sally Morgan, the composer positions the responder to appreciate the full impact of change through use of the first person narrative and vernavular language. Similarly, The Door by Miroslav Holub presents us with the idea that any consequence of change is positive, despite its initial appearance, through the use of optimistic tone, metaphors, and other poetic methods. Coleridge, in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner , creates a morally sound but destructive consequence of change through his use of romantic language. Finally, Fried Green Tomatoes enshrines many examples of proprs, camera angles and mis-en-scene which are deployed by Avnet to portray the results of transmogrification. Thus the consequences of change are shaped by composers, and the techniques they use to convey a message to the responder

Your feature article (ignore the fact it's meant to be in a text type) should examine how composers use tets to explore concepts of changing self

Changing Self is represented in many traditional and contemporary texts through the deployment of film and literary techniques by composers. In My Place , Sally Morgan presents several characters who act as catalysts for change through her use of colloquial expression and the first person narrative. However, influenced by external factors, Changing Self is portrayed in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner as destructive. Coleridge uses romantic language juxtaposed with unemotive statements to suggest this. Holub stresses the importance of self-change in The Door through the use of metaphors, paradox, tone, and other poetic techniques. In a similar way, the positive effects of self-change are represented by props, camera angles and mis-en-scene in Fried Green Tpmatoes directed by Jon Avnet. Thus concepts of changing self are explored through a plethora of methods in many texts.
 

connie

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following you around? huh... who invaded who's cyber space?? yes i thought it was appropriate... especially for some fellow legalians
 

Ringo

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I noticed...... and replied in the thread
I think I'll post this up in the other forums too
 

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