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Bunnings Business Case study HELP (1 Viewer)

JohnnySins101

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Hi, everyone I need some help, I've just finished my business case study, and I was wondering if by any chance you guys could help the boys out and take a look at my case study for some feedback, room for improvement etc. I'm in no rush, take your time. It's only due in like two days

Also, my marketing sector is a little long, any tips to shorten it would be great. The marking criteria and my business report is attached in the following documents,

Thanks in advance,
 

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jimmysmith560

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First, I think your report exceeds the 4-page limit set by this assignment (you have around 5.5+ pages).

Operations:

A bit of rewording would be good. For example, in your very first paragraph:

"Inputs, for example such as raw materials, are transformed by the firm’s core operations and then delivered to customers".

Also noticed some grammar mistakes, e.g.:

"Retailers distributes the goods in their stores"

There isn't much to be modified in terms of content. You've researched Bunnings well and linked your research to syllabus dot points. Just make sure you avoid those little grammar mistakes. I noticed another one for example:

"Operations strategies that Bunnings have achieved".

Marketing:

Your marketing section is well-structured and you have clearly elaborated on Bunnings's 3 pillars and the 4 P's of marketing.

Again, grammar seems to be the bigger issue here, not the content - e.g.:

"Lowest prices exists"

In terms of length, you should try to be less descriptive and instead write in a way that allows you to get straight to the point. This will allow you to reduce length as well as word count. For example:

"At the present time Currently, Bunnings has a lack of lacks an online presence".

Finance:

Your finance section looks much more compact, while still maintaining its purpose.

My only suggestion here would be to try and link your research more to the syllabus as most of that section is purely providing the results of your research.

Good research and good use of graphs and tables.

Human resources:

Your HR section looks the best. You've included solid research and have linked it to relevant HR syllabus dot points, in addition to the use of graphs.

Make sure to reword and fix the grammatical errors - e.g.:

"performance management comes in is/becomes relevant"

Similarly to marketing, you should try to sound less descriptive and attempt to get straight to the point, allowing you to shorten the length of this section.


I hope this helps, all the best! :D
 

JohnnySins101

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First, I think your report exceeds the 4-page limit set by this assignment (you have around 5.5+ pages).

Operations:

A bit of rewording would be good. For example, in your very first paragraph:

"Inputs, for example such as raw materials, are transformed by the firm’s core operations and then delivered to customers".

Also noticed some grammar mistakes, e.g.:

"Retailers distributes the goods in their stores"

There isn't much to be modified in terms of content. You've researched Bunnings well and linked your research to syllabus dot points. Just make sure you avoid those little grammar mistakes. I noticed another one for example:

"Operations strategies that Bunnings have achieved".

Marketing:

Your marketing section is well-structured and you have clearly elaborated on Bunnings's 3 pillars and the 4 P's of marketing.

Again, grammar seems to be the bigger issue here, not the content - e.g.:

"Lowest prices exists"

In terms of length, you should try to be less descriptive and instead write in a way that allows you to get straight to the point. This will allow you to reduce length as well as word count. For example:

"At the present time Currently, Bunnings has a lack of lacks an online presence".

Finance:

Your finance section looks much more compact, while still maintaining its purpose.

My only suggestion here would be to try and link your research more to the syllabus as most of that section is purely providing the results of your research.

Good research and good use of graphs and tables.

Human resources:

Your HR section looks the best. You've included solid research and have linked it to relevant HR syllabus dot points, in addition to the use of graphs.

Make sure to reword and fix the grammatical errors - e.g.:

"performance management comes in is/becomes relevant"

Similarly to marketing, you should try to sound less descriptive and attempt to get straight to the point, allowing you to shorten the length of this section.


I hope this helps, all the best! :D
Thank you so much for the detailed feedback, this helped a lot with my writing, I will fix up all the grammatical errors. :D
 

JohnnySins101

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Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Messages
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HSC
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First, I think your report exceeds the 4-page limit set by this assignment (you have around 5.5+ pages).

Operations:

A bit of rewording would be good. For example, in your very first paragraph:

"Inputs, for example such as raw materials, are transformed by the firm’s core operations and then delivered to customers".

Also noticed some grammar mistakes, e.g.:

"Retailers distributes the goods in their stores"

There isn't much to be modified in terms of content. You've researched Bunnings well and linked your research to syllabus dot points. Just make sure you avoid those little grammar mistakes. I noticed another one for example:

"Operations strategies that Bunnings have achieved".

Marketing:

Your marketing section is well-structured and you have clearly elaborated on Bunnings's 3 pillars and the 4 P's of marketing.

Again, grammar seems to be the bigger issue here, not the content - e.g.:

"Lowest prices exists"

In terms of length, you should try to be less descriptive and instead write in a way that allows you to get straight to the point. This will allow you to reduce length as well as word count. For example:

"At the present time Currently, Bunnings has a lack of lacks an online presence".

Finance:

Your finance section looks much more compact, while still maintaining its purpose.

My only suggestion here would be to try and link your research more to the syllabus as most of that section is purely providing the results of your research.

Good research and good use of graphs and tables.

Human resources:

Your HR section looks the best. You've included solid research and have linked it to relevant HR syllabus dot points, in addition to the use of graphs.

Make sure to reword and fix the grammatical errors - e.g.:

"performance management comes in is/becomes relevant"

Similarly to marketing, you should try to sound less descriptive and attempt to get straight to the point, allowing you to shorten the length of this section.


I hope this helps, all the best! :D
I've uploaded it to this thread
 

jimmysmith560

Le Phénix Trilingue
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Messages
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I've uploaded it to this thread
Oh, you didn't tell me it was an Economics assignment. I didn't do Economics for my HSC. I did study economics in my first year of uni though so I'll still give some feedback. Your assignment seems to include some HR elements as well so that'll allow me to give some more feedback.

Paragraph 1:

"short-term and long-term implications" In terms of what? I think you need to be a bit more concise and specify the nature of the implications without going into detail as this is your introduction.

"As a result, leading to the number of qualified workers with specialised skills to fall this reduced the number of qualified workers with specialised skills, creating a skills shortage..."

Paragraph 2:

I'm noticing the same kinds of issues as your Business Studies assignment. Content and analysis look good, but grammar needs rectification. E.g.: "Overall, trends in Figure 1 [1] highlights"

The rest looks pretty good, it wouldn't hurt to change a few words here and there but it looks good in terms of content and analysis.

Paragraph 4:

The Workplace Relations Amendment Act is from 2005, not 2015.

Paragraph 8:

"The low level of wage growth in the Macro..." Macro what?

Paragraph 16:

Remove coma from "To combat, skills shortage"

Paragraph 18:

"Overall, solving this solves the skills shortage present in the economy and allowing allows..."

Paragraph 19:

Change "Overall" to avoid repetition at the start of your conclusion. You can use:

- Therefore
- To conclude/In conclusion

"which increases labour..."

Combine the very last sentence with the one before it - "... which increases labour force participation, increases the supply of skilled labour and constitues a way of combating skills shortage that are present within the economy."


Everything else looks pretty good - Good content and analysis of the issue supported by graphs where applicable.

I hope this helps! :D
 

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