Did I fudge up my English extended response? (2 Viewers)

[Fake-Name]

Hey, for the english response I tried to throw in as many metaphors,similes,personification,ect as well as many big words I know.

IMO, I think i did a good job at it, although while tying to use big words and language techniques, i realized that my story has little to no point to it.
I picked the stop watch, I said it was a pocket watch though.
I basically wrote about an old man bitching about how old he is.. I threw in some grandkids, but still the only thing close to a problem is that he is upset that he's old.

Did I fudge up my extended response?

 

[Hayzazz]

Well if it doesn't get anywhere... then the marker might find it boring. o__O

 

[firstneg]

lol probably not
everyone i know did the key or the dice and they were either talking about how the key was a gift from someone deceased and the dice were for gambling.
They are looking for techniques over actual creativity and if it fit the model of a short story, you should be right.

 

[HiHaii]

I didn't ended my English speech well. After I finished the test I went over and thought I might as well change a few of the last sentences in the speech. As I was continuing writing, Sir went 'ok pens down'. IMO!!

 

[Mudkip94]

I friend of mine chose the pen and paper one and wrote about the School Certificate and how it's one the most important moments in his life (lol).

 

[lolmonster]

IMO, I think i did a good job at it, although while tying to use big words and language techniques, i realized that my story has little to no point to it.

Did I fudge up my extended response?

It probably would've been mostly fine as long as you have the techniques and stuff. I've never really had a strong plot (or any at all), but I've still always managed to scrape up top bands.

I friend of mine chose the pen and paper one and wrote about the School Certificate and how it's one the most important moments in his life (lol).

Lol I was always told that it was almost taboo to do that. I'm curious to know how he went.

 

[silence--]

lol i was tempted to do that (writing about sc for the pen one)

also, i don't think a bad plot matters that much. they wanna look at how you write it, not what you write. but i guess you need some sort of a plot so it's actually a narrative and not a bunch of expressions on a page.

 

[khorne]

sustains a response...meaning it has to go somewhere...This is the pitfall of many...using too many intricate words and trying to describe everything in excessive detail generally leads to poor plot development. Anyone can use "big words", but not everyone can write an interesting story.

 

[DVT]

aiyah!!! ok ok, for the story question, did we have to "mention" the pictures at all? i chose the dice, then prattled on about "chance and fate" ... didn't even mention teh word dice?? am i in trouble?

 

[annabackwards]

@OP - hmm it sounds like you might've stuffed up a little. But do not fear, the markes will give you marks for writing with sophistication/flair etc etc

aiyah!!! ok ok, for the story question, did we have to "mention" the pictures at all? i chose the dice, then prattled on about "chance and fate" ... didn't even mention teh word dice?? am i in trouble?

Depends, was it just a stimulus or did it explicitly say you had to mention it?

 

[khorne]

refer to one of the images in an important moment or as a concept...

 

[DVT]

so??... what does that mean??? as long as i used it as a "concept" .. aiyoooh

i have a really lameass story about a guy who is some nerd and he goes through puberty and hates "chance and fate" cause he's such a super nerd that he doesn't like not having control.

he's motto is , fate is in my own hands blabla

so he's walkign home from just scoring 100% in physics, moaning about how he hates chance and fate. cause he's going through puberty and thinks about girls etc, but he never gets them cause he's such a nerd and he hates it, cause he can't calculate or plan it

then he gets hit by a truck and he's like .. DAYUM i'm not pissed cause i'll miss my family or am i angry at the truck driver, i'm just pissed that i died because of fate...

do you think i completely stuffed up?

 

[occer]

Significant event/element of story. Mine got ditched after the first sentance though

 

[ehtefaz.hedayet]

@OP - hmm it sounds like you might've stuffed up a little. But do not fear, the markes will give you marks for writing with sophistication/flair etc etc


Depends, was it just a stimulus or did it explicitly say you had to mention it?

your 3000th post XD

 

[momoki]

lolz. short story everyone in school chose dice.
The test was harder then i imagined.

 

[happy_hammy]

hahaha you sound like you wrote a great story!

my sisters was about a girl who got given a pen from her mother for christmas. the pen was enchanted and everytime she tried to write something, it refused to cooperate and forced her to write a story about a galactic civil war. when the pen's story had finished, she was sucked into the world of the story and became a character in the plot.



it was like she was high. so so so so high hahahahha

 

[paulthom12345]

I was halfway through brainstorming an idea for the pen and realised i was basically re-making Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (the part with the diary)... Woops

But i changed it in the end and i had the daughter accidentally kill her own mum, and the pen was possessed by her dead father.

 

[Official]

I was halfway through brainstorming an idea for the pen and realised i was basically re-making Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (the part with the diary)... Woops

But i changed it in the end and i had the daughter accidentally kill her own mum, and the pen was possessed by her dead father.

lol.
My story was kinda cliche, hope i don't lose a mark for that.

 

[Mjontrix]

At our school, it was watch or dice.

I felt so alone talking about the pen |: > (

 

[annabackwards]

your 3000th post XD

Wow, you always notice these things before me