I did start watching, almost exclusively, blow job videos. It was always girls giving the blow jobs, but where the old me would have been admiring her mouth, her tits and her body, I was now equally admiring the cock.
So, once I discovered hypno sissy videos, I became addicted to them too. They seemed weird at first. Quick video clips of girls sucking dicks, but with female voice-overs calling me a sissy, a faggot, and a cock sucker.
The name-calling turned me on, even though I wasn't a sissy. I had worn pantyhose a few times out of curiosity, but never panties or other girls' wear.
I didn't find men remotely attractive, nor did the idea of getting fucked by a guy turn me on.
Nor had I actually sucked a cock. Yet the idea of sucking a cock was now my biggest fantasy.
But how do you say to your wife: 'Honey, I love you, but I really want to suck a dick'?
So, for months I jerked off to hypno sissy videos. I even had some audios on my phone to listen to while I drove.
I didn't want to be a sissy.
I didn't want to be a faggot.
I was just curious what it would be like to suck a cock.
Then, fate intervened.
Pam also likes porn. We used to watch a lot of it together. But on my birthday a couple weeks ago, the kids both gone to different school events for the evening, we ended up in our bed, with my pretty wife wearing some sexy red lingerie.
"Want to watch some porn first?" she asked, something we hadn't done in at least a couple of years.
"Does your lingerie get me hard?" I asked, a rhetorical answer that obviously meant 'yes, yes, yes!'
She grabbed my iPad and said, "Let's see what you've been watching."
"What? No!" I said, reacting a little too guiltily.
She moved off the bed, looking so hot in all red lingerie and nylons, and typed in my password, "So that automatically makes me wonder: what is my man so ashamed to be caught watching?" she asked, her tone playful and curious.
"Nothing!" I blurted quicker than thought, which of course was patently untrue.
Truth was, we hadn't really kept any of our fantasies a secret from each other or details about our sexual pasts.