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can sum1 gimi feedback for this essay? (1 Viewer)

kooltrainer

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can sum1 plz edit and give some comments on how to improve it further? .. this is my second copy. thx =)
There is no particular question to this essay coz its suppose to be generic.. yep


The Journey, and in particular the imaginative journey is a concept that is more than a physical movement from one destination to another. It involves a character experiencing an escape from the mundane reality, being thrown into the world of speculation and unknown and in the process, being compelled to overcome obstacles. They help with the realisation of our self by questioning our own reality, our morals thus giving us a better insight about the familiarity and differences between each other. Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” is a clear example which portrays Prospero questioning his morals and ultimately, changes his perspective about human nature. Miyazaki’s “Spirited away” similarly shows the shift in perspective in Chihiro from an apathetic 10 year old girl to a heron who’s able to save not only her self, but the others around her. Through imaginative journeys casted by Prospero, Shakespeare is able to deliberately reflect contemporary issues like colonisation. Miyazaki takes on a similar approach.

Shakespeare introduces “The tempest” depicting Prospero casting a storm onto the ship in which the King and his followers are inhibited. Prospero is seen throughout the play where he manipulates spells and spirits to take revenge on the king and especially his brother Antonio. In “the tempest”, an imaginative journey is placed upon the king and his followers. This imaginative journey is initially presented by the blurring of reality and illusion at the outset of the “tempestuous storm”. Here, Shakespeare toys with the question of reality as something we can judge by evidence of our senses. In the play, characters are often deluded about what they see, or they see only what they wish to see. However at all times, the audience is presented with the illusion of unreality so to make the play more complicated in terms of imagination, speculation and discovery. This is evident in Miranda (Prospero’s daughter), for example, where she sees the ship sinking as do rest of the fleet, the garments of the shipwrecked people however, turned out to be as good as new. The constant mysterious presence of music in the background “this isle is full of noises” as well as the fact that Gonzalo and Antonio perceive the air differently makes the island a place of unreality. “How lush and lusty the grass looks” contrasted with “tawny” by Antonio. The fluctuation in reality and illusion prepares Prospero’s revenge onto his “enemies”.

“Spirited Away” is a film based on a young girl Chihiro who, together with her parents, becomes confined in the alternate world of spirits. In order to survive, she has to work at the spirit’s bath-house. Miyazaki takes on a similar approach about the reality with the use of symbolism in the ornaments that are presented in the bath-house. Chihiro becomes encapsulated into the world of spirits using the transition from daylight and slowly into the evening and night. This shows a natural transition and responders is not aware of the fact that Chihiro is trapped until she reaches the body of water (which separates the world of spirits and the real world where she came from). From the outset, Chihiro along with her parent enters a theme park; a symbolism for the western and a more contemporary culture. Using transition from daylight to night, the world of spirits and imagination permeates- shown by the gradual use of Japanese tradition designs like the bath-house (a tradition for the Japanese to cleanse/relax themselves). This makes the film ambiguous as to whether this world is a reality or a dream. Just like the tempest, the imaginative journey presented is a blur between fact and fiction; illusion and reality.

The idea of growth and a shift in perspective is evident in Prospero where he questions himself about his morals; the result of this is a better understanding of his relationships with other people. Prospero’s initial plan of vengeance towards his usurping brother has changed to one of forgiveness and reconciliation. Through vivid imagery of Gonzalo’s tears, Ariel’s description of Gonzalo as “Brimful sorrow” and Miranda’s love, Prospero questions his morals and his way of life upon coming to a conclusion where he will show mercy. He is able to come to a moment of epiphany whereby he realises the limitations of his magic. Mastery of his enemies through this magic is thus, futile. Instead of revenge, he forgives Alonso and Antonio; “I’ll drown my book”.
Not only does Prospero change from his original motive of revenge to the Christian motive of forgiveness, Caliban also acquires growth from the obstacles in his imaginative journey. In seeking his new master Trinculo, it was not long until he reflected upon his folly that he was a “thrice-double ass to follow these drunkards”. He declares “I’ll be wise hereafter”, note the shift in perspective. Imaginative journeys allow individuals to change the way they perceive about the world and thus causing a significant growth in themselves.

By the confrontation of obstacles encountered in imaginative journeys, growth is also well defined in Chihiro. In this film, Chihiro learns adaptability and endurance in order to survive in the spirit world, Yuya. This world exists as a resting place for the spirits where both good and evil comes in contact. The theme for this film is not that because evil is destroyed (just as the world does not disappear) but that because Chihiro has gained wisdom and devotion to survive. If she had, but to say “no” or “I want to go home”, Yubaaba would turn her into an animal similar to that of her parents because of her greed and her puerile behaviour. She devoted herself by insisting that “I (she) want to work here”, thus enabling her with the power to live. Her character has changed from an apathetic girl who constantly complains and whines to one being able to make mature decisions about her self and others- Haku. Furthermore, the growth in Chihiro is evinced in the end of the journey whereby she said “I think I’ll handle it (her school)” as contrasted with the outset of the journey where she is reluctant to do so.

An apposite use of humour is employed in act 3 where Shakespeare criticises the contemporary attitude pertaining to indigenous people. The imaginative journey Prospero has placed upon Trinculo is a reflection of western domination over indigenes. As Trinculo tries to exhibit Caliban “were he in England”, “there would this monster make a man”, there is a humorous dual meaning to this statement: Firstly, In England, people are ignorant that a beast is mistaken for a man. Secondly, it suggests that ignorant men would part their money and this would be the making of him. Furthermore, this notion is reinforced by the enslavement of Caliban as well as modern productions of the play where Prospero is portrayed as an arrogant colonial master and Caliban as indigenous victim to his tyranny. The notion is paramount as the African continent is littered with legacies of colonial mismanagement and of course, the Australian continent and its stolen generation. Imaginative journeys placed on audience can change how we perceive about worldly matters.

In “Spirited away”, Chihiro undergoes on the imaginative journey in which she is manipulated by the spirits of an alternate reality. This manipulation acts as a punishment for the imperfections in the society like the pollution human has left behind- shown through the constant images of smoke from the bath-houses as well as the wastes embodied in the river spirit. The waste in the river spirit becomes a significant symbol for the water pollution that human developments have caused. Furthermore, not only do humans ravage the natural environment, they also tries to exploit spiritual areas- shown by the greed of Chihiro’s parents gulping down the spirit’s food. Through the use of imaginative journeys, not only Shakespeare but other writers are able to communicate issues that are of major concern.

Ultimately, the journey that one takes has the power to influence our psyche as a responder and therefore shape the way we think of our selves and others. With the experience obtained from overcoming obstacles in the journey, one is able to gain greater knowledge about poignant issues like pollution and indigenous people. Furthermore, these obstacles shape our morals thus changing our perception and gradually leading to self- growth.
 
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im not good at editing essays... maybe thats why i never do well... but i did notice a spelling mistake :p
1st paragraph
"10 year old girl to a heron" - heroin

sorry, couldn't help myself :p
plus I have never done the tempest so i can only really look at spirited away.. and its been years since I saw it.
 

Bobness

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kooltrainer said:
can sum1 plz edit and give some comments on how to improve it further? .. this is my second copy. thx =)
There is no particular question to this essay coz its suppose to be generic.. yep

The Journey, and in particular the imaginative journey is a concept that is more than a physical movement from one destination to another "physical movement" comment is distracting. It involves a character experiencing an escape from the mundane reality, being thrown into the world of speculation and unknown and in the process, being compelled to overcome obstacles. They help with the realisation of our self by questioning our own reality, our morals thus giving us a better insight about the familiarity and differences between each other unclear, you are better off establishing journeys as a medium or vehicle by which travelers can use to challenge preconceived notions of the world (and relating this to ontological musings, the human condition or other more elevated issues). Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” is a clear example which portrays Prospero questioning his morals and ultimately, changes his perspective about human nature. Miyazaki’s “Spirited away” similarly shows the shift in perspective in Chihiro from an apathetic 10 year old girl to a heroine who’s able to save not only her self, but the others around her. Through imaginative journeys casted by Prospero, Shakespeare is able to deliberately reflect contemporary issues like colonisation. Miyazaki takes on a similar approach.

Shakespeare introduces “The tempest” depicting Prospero casting a storm onto the ship in which the King and his followers are inhibited. Prospero is seen throughout the play where he manipulates spells and spirits to take revenge on the king and especially his brother Antonio. In “the tempest”, an imaginative journey is placed upon the king and his followers. This imaginative journey is initially presented by the blurring of reality and illusion at the outset of the “tempestuous storm” if you are quoting, you should be using techniques i.e. the negative connotations of "tempestuous storm" invoke the initial hardships that drive the imaginative plot. Here, Shakespeare toys poor diction with the question of reality as something we can judge by evidence of our senses tautology - reality is almost always something we can judge through our senses. In the play, characters are often deluded about what they see, or they see only what they wish to see need quote. However at all times, the audience is presented with the illusion of unreality so to make the play more complicated in terms of imagination, speculation and discovery how so?. This is evident in Miranda (Prospero’s daughter), for example, where she sees the ship sinking as do rest of the fleet, the garments of the shipwrecked people however, turned out to be as good as new quote. The constant mysterious presence of music in the background “this isle is full of noises” as well as the fact that Gonzalo and Antonio perceive the air differently makes the island a place of unreality. “How lush and lusty the grass looks” contrasted with “tawny” by Antonio (the alliteration that frames the verdant imagery of "how lush and lusty the grass looks" contrasts with the polysyllabic "tawny" to emphasise how the boundaries of reality and illusion may be challenged through processes of speculation. This reveals the potency of imaginative journeys in effecting a more balanced worldview etc etc). The fluctuation in reality and illusion prepares Prospero’s revenge onto his “enemies”.

“Spirited Away” is a film based on a young girl Chihiro who, together with her parents, becomes confined in the alternate world of spirits. In order to survive, she has to work at the spirit’s bath-house. Miyazaki takes on a similar approach about the reality with the use of symbolism in the ornaments that are presented in the bath-house. your summary of the film is not condensed enough, otherwise you will need to insert quotes in the second and third sentences Chihiro becomes encapsulated into the world of spirits using the transition from daylight and slowly into the evening and night. This shows a natural transition and responders is not aware of the fact that Chihiro is trapped until she reaches the body of water (which separates the world of spirits and the real world where she came from). From the outset, Chihiro along with her parent enters a theme park; a symbolism for the western and a more contemporary culture. Using transition from daylight to night, the world of spirits and imagination permeates- shown by the gradual use of Japanese tradition designs like the bath-house (a tradition for the Japanese to cleanse/relax themselves). This makes the film ambiguous as to whether this world is a reality or a dream. Just like the tempest, the imaginative journey presented is a blur between fact and fiction; illusion and reality. as spirited away is quite a popular related text, you would need to use much stronger techniques in particular those relating to film and anime i.e. diagetic, non-diagetic music, flashbacks, camera angles and shots, the exaggerated cartoon figures

The idea of growth and a shift in perspective is evident in Prospero where he questions himself about his morals; the result of this is a better understanding of his relationships with other people. Prospero’s initial plan of vengeance towards his usurping brother has changed to one of forgiveness and reconciliation. through what? needs an explicit reference to journeys taken from your thesis Through vivid imagery of Gonzalo’s tears, Ariel’s description of Gonzalo as “Brimful sorrow” and Miranda’s love, Prospero questions his morals and his way of life upon coming to a conclusion where he will show mercy. He is able to come to a moment of epiphany whereby he realises the limitations of his magic. Mastery of his enemies through this magic is thus, futile. Instead of revenge, he forgives Alonso and Antonio; “I’ll drown my book”. (the symbolic gesture reflects both the mediating influence of water in the play and how by relinquishing his art, understands how magic can function only as a temporary medium for effecting change - similar to imaginative journeying)
Not only does Prospero change from his original motive of revenge to the Christian motive of forgiveness i'd only say 'christian' if you were applying a technique such as biblical allusion or spiritual/religious diction ie "blessed", Caliban also acquires growth from the obstacles in his imaginative journey. In seeking his new master Trinculo, it was not long until he reflected upon his folly that he was a “thrice-double ass to follow these drunkards” (the reductive diction of "ass" and "drunkards" highlights how the imaginative journey provides guidance to a higher destination of independent learning). He declares “I’ll be wise hereafter”, note the shift in perspective too colloquial consider using: the monosyllabic emphasis of "i'll be wise" counterpoints the polysyllables of "hereafter" which reveals his permanent shift in perspective. Imaginative journeys allow individuals to change the way they perceive about the world and thus causing a significant growth in themselves. good final paragraph sentence

By the confrontation of obstacles encountered in imaginative journeys, growth is also well defined in Chihiro. In this film, Chihiro learns adaptability and endurance in order to survive in the spirit world, Yuya. This world exists as a resting place for the spirits where both good and evil comes in contact. The theme for this film is not that because evil is destroyed (just as the world does not disappear) but that because Chihiro has gained wisdom and devotion to survive. If she had, but to say “no” or “I want to go home”, Yubaaba would turn her into an animal similar to that of her parents because of her greed and her puerile behaviour. She devoted herself by insisting that “I (she) want to work here” (alliteration emphasises this devotion), thus enabling her with the power to live. Her character has changed from an apathetic girl who constantly complains and whines to one being able to make mature decisions about her self and others- Haku. Furthermore, the growth in Chihiro is evinced in the end of the journey whereby she said “I think I’ll handle it (her school) (the repetition of personal pronouns suggests her gradual acceptance of responsibility)” as contrasted with the outset of the journey where she is reluctant to do so.

An apposite use of humour is employed in act 3 where Shakespeare criticises the contemporary attitude pertaining to indigenous people. (you should probably comment on the unity of structure in the play, how act 1 is the exposition, act 2 is the complication if you want to use an "act 3" type point) The imaginative journey Prospero has placed upon Trinculo is a reflection of western domination over indigenes. As Trinculo tries to exhibit Caliban “were he in England”, “there would this monster make a man”, there is a humorous dual meaning to this statement: Firstly, In England, people are ignorant that a beast is mistaken for a man. Secondly, it suggests that ignorant men would part their money and this would be the making of him. taking too long to get to a point, instead: the antithetical opposition of "monster" and "man" establishes the binary between perceived civility and savage noble in the figure of Caliban, where the alliteration of "monster make a man" highlights how human potential may be exhibited also by 'beasts' on journeys. Furthermore, this notion is reinforced by the enslavement of Caliban as well as modern productions of the play need to quote the production where Prospero is portrayed as an arrogant colonial master and Caliban as indigenous victim to his tyranny. The notion is paramount as the African continent is littered with legacies of colonial mismanagement and of course, the Australian continent and its stolen generation. Imaginative journeys placed on audience can change how we perceive about worldly matters.

In “Spirited away”, Chihiro undergoes on partakes in the imaginative journey in which she is manipulated by the spirits of an alternate reality. This manipulation acts as a punishment for the imperfections in the society like the pollution human has left behind- shown through the constant images of smoke from the bath-houses as well as the wastes embodied in the river spirit. The waste in the river spirit becomes a significant symbol for the water pollution that human developments have caused intangible link. Furthermore, not only do humans ravage the natural environment, they also tries try to exploit spiritual areas- shown by the greed of Chihiro’s parents gulping down the spirit’s food. Through the use of imaginative journeys, not only Shakespeare but other writers are able to communicate issues that are of major concern.

Ultimately, the journey that one takes has the power to influence our psyche as a responder and therefore shape the way we think of our selves and others. With the experience obtained from overcoming obstacles in the journey, one is able to gain greater knowledge about poignant issues like pollution and indigenous people. Furthermore, these obstacles shape our morals thus changing our perception and gradually leading to self- growth. good conclusion

#try working on your techniques and you should be good to go
 

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