ZZZZZZ said:
correct me if i'm wrong, when non metals undergo cordiante bonding one of the atoms end up with 10 out electrons instead of 8.....
Sorry to say this, but you might be mistaken.
A co-ordinate covalent bond is a shared pair of electrons (like a normal covalent bond) ... BUT ... both electrons come from only one of the 'atoms' being joined. In a 'normal' covalent bond, each 'atom' supplies one electron each to the "shaired pair of electrons".
I'll give you two examples, where the "octet rule" applies.
1) H2O + H+ --> H3O+
The oxygen in the water molecule has 4 pairs of exectrons - two pairs are bonded to the hydrogens (each pair consists of 1 electron from the oxygen and 1 electron from the hydrogen). There are also two unbonded pairs of exectrons. In this state the molecule is electronically stable as each hydrogen has 2 electrons (one pair) in its outer shell (1st) and the oxygen atom now has 8 electrons in its outer shell (2nd). The whole molecule is electronically stable and overall (electronically) neutral.
Along comes a H ion - with no electrons. It can "latch onto" one of the unbonded pairs of electrons around oxygen. This 'new' hydrogen now has 2 electrons in its outer shell and oxygen still has 8 e- in its outer shell. As we have added another proton (= hydrogen ion) the particle, H3O, now has an overall positive charge, H3O+
Try this one.
2) NH3 + H+ --> NH4+
In the ammonia molecule, NH3, the nitrogen has 8 electrons in its outer shell, 4 pairs of electrons; 3 bonded pairs and one unbonded pair. Its the unbonded pair that the hydrogen ion uses ("shares") with nitrogen to form the ammonium ion. Note both electrons were 'donated' from the nitrogen - none came from the H+.
Hope this helps.