Creative halp (1 Viewer)

[DatAtarLyfe]

"Alex was used to staying up well past midnight himself thanks to the copious amounts of homework his college professors seemed oh so fond of throwing at him during the school year, but Alex's father was almost always asleep by nine, especially on warm summer nights like this one"

How would you reword this so that it "shows" rather than "tells". This is the main idea i'm trying to get across but i can't convey it through descriptions and stuff

All help is appreciated

 

[StudiousStudent]

Write it in first person instead of third person (from a narrators perspective). YOU become Alex - e.g. I look at the clock, which reads 24:00.

My college professor has thrown more homework, my way. (First person, past tense)

OR In first person, present tense (preferable):

Swoosh. The homework lands on my desk; more papers to add to my current pile.

 

[DatAtarLyfe]

I tend not to write in first person as it just becomes a recount ("i did this, i did that" etc). Maybe coz im not as skilled in it.
Im also already written my whole creative in third, im just editing this bit and my actual discovery bit.
How would you write it in third person?

 

[DatAtarLyfe]

Btw, the whole story is in third, but whenever the character is thinking out loud, its in first

 

[StudiousStudent]

I tend not to write in first person as it just becomes a recount ("i did this, i did that" etc). Maybe coz im not as skilled in it.
Im also already written my whole creative in third, im just editing this bit and my actual discovery bit.
How would you write it in third person?

Ok, you can still show in third person, it just requires you to be more descriptive.

Alex was used to staying up well past midnight, as the clock testified: 24:00 was the time. He had copious amounts of homework to complete as evidenced by the piles of paper on his desk; Alex's college professor seemed oh so fond of setting pupils a copious amount of tasks.

(I'm not sure if you're implying the professor is Alex's father?)

Alex's father usually fell asleep by nine at night, especially on a warm ones like this. You could see light perspiration on his forehead.

In order to show, direct the readers attention to something specific, so as to reaffirm what you've just stated.

 

[StudiousStudent]

If you're interested in refining first person, check out novels by Australian young adult writer Rebecca James. She does it so well. I taught myself based off her writing style.

 

[Orwell]

Incorporate the senses.

 

[DatAtarLyfe]

Thanks studious, i basically got rid of the dad line and mentioned him rubbing his dark circles