depression advice online? (1 Viewer)

[iambored]

I am changing the focus of this thread (I have been tring to post this thread for a number of weeks but it will never go through, tonight it did - )

Should I and how should I approach the topic of depression(/suicide) with someone I know? what would you do? I really don't know what to do - I don't even know whether the warning signs are true warning signs, they might not be. I can't put the whole story up here. I barely know the person, I just can't let it slip because if they are depressed, it's a serious situation and time is running away - I don't think they will do anything but I know they are capable of it and things you don't expect, do happen. I am not close to them, in their eyes I can not relate to them or their problems.

Please help

Original post:
ALL I WANT is a site that will give me advice on whether to and how to approach the topic of depression(/suicide) with someone I know. Does anyone know of anywhere I can ask? I don't particularly want to ring a phone line, in fact, I won't end up doing it.

 

[mr_brightside]

Kids Help Line has an email and web counselling service...i think...

here we go...
http://www.kidshelp.com.au/template/standard.aspx?s=127&p=129&r=104&b=2

 

[iambored]

thanks but they say you can't be over 18, I know I could write anyway but I know they are always finding it hard to keep their services open and it's not me who is depressed, I don't want to take resources from a child who really needs help. In the end I can sort of decide for myself what to do, the kids might not be able to

thanks though!

i can't believe how hard it is to find help online though,i understand why, but i think i would find it really hard to ring and so not do anything, surely e-mail is better than noting

 

[mr_brightside]

thanks but they say you can't be over 18, I know I could write anyway but I know they are always finding it hard to keep their services open and it's not me who is depressed, I don't want to take resources from a child who really needs help. In the end I can sort of decide for myself what to do, the kids might not be able to

thanks though!

Yeah true..
You could try lifeline aswell...
13 11 14
But you did say you didnt want to talk to anyone about it on the phone....
And i cant find any online section in their webpage

sorry

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

depression is not easy ... to just explain.. it needs professional help..
lots of variation

signs u need to watch out for.. ask about suicide.. tell them they need real help..
is there a cause to it?
is what makes u think etc..?

lots of things... beyondblue is a good local variation about how to find signs...
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Note: Depression can be VERY serious... dun try to deal with it.. i know guys who are strong n professional about it and they cant handle the depressed ppl either without problems.. u need to support ure mate to get help

 

[ogmzergrush]

I've done a bit of a looking around and can't find any sites that say much aside from "Talk about it". There are some great resources around if you're after information in general about depression to use while discussing, but as to the method I think it'll be largely up to you.

My advice with this is pretty much the same as everything else, be up front and open about how you're feeling.

Personally I find that when talking to people like that, something like "Hey you know, you don't seem very happy, and I'm sort of worried about you" has the effect of demonstrating in a very straightforward and sincere manner that you genuinely care, and the fact that it's a lot more open and upfront than most people tend to be will mean that it's likely to be taken seriously (Rather than shrugged off with "oh you don't know what to know about it" sort of stuff).

From there, your best bet is probably to discuss the things you've been noticing, ask if anything is wrong, explain why you're concerned personally and that sort of thing. Of course, as you said you can't post the story here, which is fine, but you'll need to decide yourself whether all the things you've been noticing are able to be discussed (Some may be too sensitive to bring up, at least not until the conversation is well in swing). It might also be useful in conversation to keep in mind that ultimately you're trying to discuss how they're feeling, so you shouldn't focus too much on how you feel about how they feel (ahah, great sentence, but you get the idea).

One thing about depressed people is that often they just don't realise that there are people around who care about how they're feeling and what they're going through, and basic straight-to-the-point conversations like this can help demonstrate that you really are concerned for them and their wellbeing, and that you're interested in actively helping them get through it.

Of course this is by no means definitive, depending on the situation and your relationship with the person some things may not be relevant. Depending on the warning signs you've observed this may be extreme, but on the other hand if you're correct it could help a lot.

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

it is a real problem.. a chemical imbalance in someppl and there are medicines to fix it..

therapy to help control it..

ppl need to realise.. there is a difference between full depression and just being sad.. its complex.. but as a friend u must support their recovery.. if they have depression. and fixable..

good start is listening and lettin a them vent
but try to put positive spin on wat u can.. and encourage them..

 

[ogmzergrush]

it is a real problem.. a chemical imbalance in someppl and there are medicines to fix it..

therapy to help control it..

ppl need to realise.. there is a difference.. but as a friend u must support their recovery.. its a disease.. and fixable..

Definitely, if you and the person discuss it and there really does seem to be an issue, there are ways to deal with it which should be pursued, it's not worth living with (Or trying to live with) something like that when there are people who can help. To that end, if that's the case you should encourage the person to seek (professional) help.

 

[mr_brightside]

it is a real problem.. a chemical imbalance in someppl and there are medicines to fix it..

drugs can really suck though...

I refuse to ever touch them...ever...

 

[iambored]

it is a real problem.. a chemical imbalance in someppl and there are medicines to fix it..

therapy to help control it..

ppl need to realise.. there is a difference between full depression and just being sad.. its complex.. but as a friend u must support their recovery.. if they have depression. and fixable..

good start is listening and lettin a them vent
but try to put positive spin on wat u can.. and encourage them..

thanks

I've done a bit of a looking around and can't find any sites that say much aside from "Talk about it". There are some great resources around if you're after information in general about depression to use while discussing, but as to the method I think it'll be largely up to you.

My advice with this is pretty much the same as everything else, be up front and open about how you're feeling.

Personally I find that when talking to people like that, something like "Hey you know, you don't seem very happy, and I'm sort of worried about you" has the effect of demonstrating in a very straightforward and sincere manner that you genuinely care, and the fact that it's a lot more open and upfront than most people tend to be will mean that it's likely to be taken seriously (Rather than shrugged off with "oh you don't know what to know about it" sort of stuff).

From there, your best bet is probably to discuss the things you've been noticing, ask if anything is wrong, explain why you're concerned personally and that sort of thing. Of course, as you said you can't post the story here, which is fine, but you'll need to decide yourself whether all the things you've been noticing are able to be discussed (Some may be too sensitive to bring up, at least not until the conversation is well in swing). It might also be useful in conversation to keep in mind that ultimately you're trying to discuss how they're feeling, so you shouldn't focus too much on how you feel about how they feel (ahah, great sentence, but you get the idea).

One thing about depressed people is that often they just don't realise that there are people around who care about how they're feeling and what they're going through, and basic straight-to-the-point conversations like this can help demonstrate that you really are concerned for them and their wellbeing, and that you're interested in actively helping them get through it.

Of course this is by no means definitive, depending on the situation and your relationship with the person some things may not be relevant. Depending on the warning signs you've observed this may be extreme, but on the other hand if you're correct it could help a lot.

you know i value your advice, so thanks again






another thing is that i don't want to put them off showing me the signs, i worry that if i tell them i have been noticing things they will hide that side from me and then i won't know what is happening

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

drugs can really suck though...

I refuse to ever touch them...ever...

i can see ure point.. but evidence for the 1st line drugs used in australia is very good

i use to think it would lead to addiction or dependence.. but the benefits outweigh the risks..

i genuinely think that these drugs especially SSRI's (selective seratonin receptor inhibitors) and SNRI's (selective noradrenaline receptor inhibitors)
are quite good compared to the old tricyclic drugs.. and the MAO inhibitors..

i dun claim to know everything.. but i was critical of them initially but after the evidence i realise there is a low risk compared to losing a friend

 

[mr_brightside]

Side effects are always a problem..with any sort of medication
and you do get a dependence..
Coming off makes you worse than you were...

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

another thing is that i don't want to put them off showing me the signs, i worry that if i tell them i have been noticing things they will hide that side from me and then i won't know what is happenning

diagnostic criterias allow for that.. but u can jsut keep buggin them until they get help... but yeah
just ask them about it.. and that u want them to get better...

I have got sooooo stressed by a depressed friend.. (and i get therapy training at uni.).. and talking to depressed patients... moral is.. u as a friend are too close .. u need a 3rd party..
Psychologist and Psychiatrist are very recommended
or see a GP.. and if they are inadequate.. tell them u need more help ..and would lik a referral to the other 2.

 

[iambored]

diagnostic criterias allow for that.. but u can jsut keep buggin them until they get help... but yeah
just ask them about it.. and that u want them to get better...

I have got sooooo stressed by a depressed friend.. (and i get therapy training at uni.).. and talking to depressed patients... moral is.. u as a friend are too close .. u need a 3rd party..
Psychologist and Psychiatrist are very recommended
or see a GP.. and if they are inadequate.. tell them u need more help ..and would lik a referral to the other 2.

so you think if i bring it up, if i go as far as to say i have noticed a, b, c, it should be at a time where i have talked to them enough to know that they really need help? - because then it won't matter if i they stop showing me reasons to be concerned. rather than if i said it, for example, the first time i talk to them, they will probably deny anything is wrong and then hide it from me.

as a side - how is it doing therapy? i imagine draining. are people willing to talk?

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

Side effects are always a problem..with any sort of medication
and you do get a dependence..
Coming off makes you worse than you were...

yes but can u tell me the percent?.. for SSRI and SNRIs its very low for very reputable clinical trials..
side effects are lower libido.. .usually in older men.. (not SNRIs tho)

withdrawal is more likely than dependence.. because the drug takes up to 3 weeks to work..

overdose on SSRI and SNRI are very difficult

im not being a nazi ... i just prefer to deal with facts when its so serious..

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

so you think if i bring it up, if i go as far as to say i have noticed a, b, c, it should be at a time where i have talked to them enough to know that they really need help? - because then it won't matter if i they stop showing me reasons to be concerned. rather than if i said it, for example, the first time i talk to them, they will probably deny anything is wrong and then hide it from me.

as a side - how is it doing therapy? i imagine draining. are people willing to talk?

to ppl after their initial barrier its easy because u just listen and think objectively ... not judging them.. and u just listen..

its heartbreaking... it sends chills down ure spine.. its depressing.. but u just have to be able to let go.. with ure friends its not realli possible.. professionally ure suppose to.. but i kno lots of ppl tat dont.. cos its hard to be so distant when its real.

//edit: essentially asking them about it.. makes them realise u care.. leave the door open for more "if u need support just tell me"..

 

[iambored]

thanks so much. sometimes it's the most obvious things that just need to be mentioned on their own, your last line did that, so i'm not as worried about the specifics any more, i probably won't have to say much at all.

 

[ice_wind]

if they're ure frend...then talk to them, there's nothing more important than getting those people to talk...it helps them relieve their emotions and feelings otherwise bottled up...

 

[KeypadSDM]

I'd let natural selection run its course. That's just me though.

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

I'd let natural selection run its course. That's just me though.

u mean.. let ppl die from it? :|

sorri thats how i intepret natural selection