Hatshepsut, what do you think? (1 Viewer)

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my intro:

Assess the basis of Hatshepsuts Power and Influence

It is believed that towards the end of his reign, Thutmose II, husband and stepbrother of Hatshepsut, was vitally sick and not able to rule on his own, thus Hatshepsut took on the role of a Pharaoh, ensuring such responsibilities are taken care of. Titled the Great Wife of Thutmose II, and having the royal bloodline as a result of her father Pharaoh, Thutmose I, Hathsepsut was in great position to rule. However, Ancient Egypt had never before seen a woman Pharaoh. Through Hatshepsut's use of propaganda, which included the Coronation Inscription and Divne Birth story, as well as her throne name, the people of Egypt gradually accepted her furthermore. In order to not create any controversy, the support of Great Nobles and High Officials was undertaken by Hatshepsut, thus allowing Hatshepsut to caim the support of the Amen priesthood. Also, as the years progressed, the builidings of great temples, such as the Temple at Deil Eh Bahri, which included thousands of inscriptions and statues of the Queen portrayed in a number of ways, was seen appealing to the people of Egypt, and never questioned. It was true, Egypt had never seen a woman Pharaoh before, yet, through the use of Hatshepsut's aforesaid techniques, the tradition was about to break.

I don't think its that great, but i dont know how to fix it up:S

p.s. im a bit confused on what to write for her bulidngs, cause im only supose to write in the 2-7 year period of her co-regency,thanks heaps!
 

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If you are only talking about the coregency, the later buildings will e irrelevant
 

Chew me:)

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yeahhh we only need co-regency... but what else can i use instead of buildings for co-regency? for her rise to power?
 

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Hmm with egypt most of your sources will be buildings and inscriptions. You need to link the claims such as
In order to not create any controversy, the support of Great Nobles and High Officials was undertaken by Hatshepsut, thus allowing Hatshepsut to caim the support of the Amen priesthood
to the sources like "Coronation Inscription and Divne Birth story" at the moment it just seems like a collection of facts with unsupported claims.

And try to qualify anything that is not certain
 

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