itmegeorge
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have a test on Monday that requires me to write a creative writing task
Need opinions on a creative writing piece i wrote a while ago based on belonging, it isn't exactly fleshed out, need opinions as to whether i should change it completely or fix it up and use it as a template for the creative writing task
The Concord
I surveyed the aftermath of the battle seeing the blood on the floor like a red layer paint covering the once pearly white marble and the white pillars of which a few still stood, the room looked empty even though hunters rushed in an out busily, their faces all concentrated on one thing, tidying up to prevent the knowledge of our kind spreading. My kind spreading, they weren’t like me. As I thought about my kind I finally noticed my fangs in the reflection of a shard of broken glass of a window that I threw someone out of, they were out still out still anticipating a fight even though my mind had accepted that it was over my body was still in the process. I shook my head simultaneously trying to forget what just happened and trying to get rid of my fangs it was uncomfortable talking with them. I then rolled my tongue over my teeth to check and I received my answer when I cut it over my sharp fangs. Nope. Still there I thought as I felt the familiar sting of the skin on my tongue binding back together.
The hunters all asked me if I was fine, apologised that they were late and that I had to fend off the traitor vampires on my own. It sickened me that they pretended to care, my clan and their people had agreed to live in peace and work together and despite this they still thought of us as less even though they didn’t show it. Even after the signing of the concords a century ago that my father couldn’t help but remind me about regularly as he was one of the few vampires present. I heard them whisper about how we were untrustworthy and always up to something when they were under the impression I couldn’t hear them. They didn’t know about my people why would they care about how we worked and our abilities when they were so much ‘better’ than us. I looked at one of the hunters trying to lift a piece of debris off the ground his glasses sliding down his nose and his muscles rippling under his too small white shirt all the while his thin face strained. I stifled a laugh and offered him help after he accepted I started moving the block into the small wheel barrow shifting it as easily as he would have a pebble I looked back at him and he had drawn his ether his hands shaking as the golden shaft was in his hand and the watery blade slowly came out as he willed it.
Everything happened fast as I let my primal self take control. He slashed at me afraid of something so alien to him, I dodged easily with no effort something that would have sliced me in two and palmed his chest hearing the satisfying crunch of his ribs I decided he couldn’t get back up. I looked around and saw that at least a dozen other hunters were staring at me, some in disbelief and some taking out their own ether’s with hate spreading across their faces. I screeched an ear piercing screech as I called for my brothers and hoped they could make it soon. This was the last time my people would be blamed for their mistakes this was our time for revenge.
Need opinions on a creative writing piece i wrote a while ago based on belonging, it isn't exactly fleshed out, need opinions as to whether i should change it completely or fix it up and use it as a template for the creative writing task
The Concord
I surveyed the aftermath of the battle seeing the blood on the floor like a red layer paint covering the once pearly white marble and the white pillars of which a few still stood, the room looked empty even though hunters rushed in an out busily, their faces all concentrated on one thing, tidying up to prevent the knowledge of our kind spreading. My kind spreading, they weren’t like me. As I thought about my kind I finally noticed my fangs in the reflection of a shard of broken glass of a window that I threw someone out of, they were out still out still anticipating a fight even though my mind had accepted that it was over my body was still in the process. I shook my head simultaneously trying to forget what just happened and trying to get rid of my fangs it was uncomfortable talking with them. I then rolled my tongue over my teeth to check and I received my answer when I cut it over my sharp fangs. Nope. Still there I thought as I felt the familiar sting of the skin on my tongue binding back together.
The hunters all asked me if I was fine, apologised that they were late and that I had to fend off the traitor vampires on my own. It sickened me that they pretended to care, my clan and their people had agreed to live in peace and work together and despite this they still thought of us as less even though they didn’t show it. Even after the signing of the concords a century ago that my father couldn’t help but remind me about regularly as he was one of the few vampires present. I heard them whisper about how we were untrustworthy and always up to something when they were under the impression I couldn’t hear them. They didn’t know about my people why would they care about how we worked and our abilities when they were so much ‘better’ than us. I looked at one of the hunters trying to lift a piece of debris off the ground his glasses sliding down his nose and his muscles rippling under his too small white shirt all the while his thin face strained. I stifled a laugh and offered him help after he accepted I started moving the block into the small wheel barrow shifting it as easily as he would have a pebble I looked back at him and he had drawn his ether his hands shaking as the golden shaft was in his hand and the watery blade slowly came out as he willed it.
Everything happened fast as I let my primal self take control. He slashed at me afraid of something so alien to him, I dodged easily with no effort something that would have sliced me in two and palmed his chest hearing the satisfying crunch of his ribs I decided he couldn’t get back up. I looked around and saw that at least a dozen other hunters were staring at me, some in disbelief and some taking out their own ether’s with hate spreading across their faces. I screeched an ear piercing screech as I called for my brothers and hoped they could make it soon. This was the last time my people would be blamed for their mistakes this was our time for revenge.