How can I improve on this essay please (1 Viewer)

[nitro.vo]

I have my half yearlies next week and my teacher gave us the essay thats in it at the begining of the year but took awhile to return it so im only just revising it now.

Anyway he wrote some notes on the paper of what I should add but hes gone away for school camp so i cant ask him.

Maybe you guys can help becuase I'm not too clear on what he means

The bits in red are the breif comments he made on my essay.

thanks alot, really appreciate it guys

 

[nitro.vo]

Your awesome.

thanks

 

[Riviet]

Throw in some relevant stats to give your essay a bit of a punch. If I'm not mistaken, you only had one in your main body. You should aim to have at least a statistic or two per paragraph of your main body, but don't be too excessive with them either.

 

[ScottyG]

That being said, be selective with your statistics. Use major figures such as economic growth rates, HDI's, FDI levels etc where possible, and use minor economic statistics where appropriate for the question.

 

[nitro.vo]

hate to be a nuicense and my exam is tomorrow afternoon but what do i write for the foriegn savings and foreign exchange trading.

for the WHY part all ive added is "...which is slowing down the growth of the economy, as demand for goods and services falls due to a lack of disposable income in the population."

Thats not deep enough is it?

PANICCCC

thanks

 

[nitro.vo]

yay I was hoping you would come back online tonight =)

"outline the features of globalisation and analyse the impact on the standard of living in the global economy."