your thesis is too complex. it's hard to stay focussed when you want to argue a number of different things. this is what i mean...
itank said:
The depth that is found within such a simplistic word, journeys, is expressed on many different foundations
what does this mean? i dont mean to be rude but i dont understand what this is. the floury language dosent help either. its like your not saying anything here, so it will be hard to argue...
itank said:
people start journeys with certain goals in mind, but the journey is much more than just the completion of these goals.
this is better but not great. so bassically in theis talk, the journey is more important than the arrival. cliched but safeish.
id recommend that you rethink it a little. i can help but i need to know what texts [core/stimulus booklet/other related] you are using.
to write a GOOD thesis start by think about what you feel about 'the journey'. think about how its changed from day 1 yr12. studying the texts u have studied have shaped how you see journeys now and it varies between individuals, texts etc etc. your thesis should be personal. what you think/feel
im sorry to sound harsh but i think that your a little bit misguided, at least from what youve written above. my msn details are available on my profile and im happy to give you a bit of help to develop a decent thesis that your comfortable arguing if you would like. just add me
EDIT: as far of symbolism, its hard to find things that dont in someway relate to a journey. the snowball is a little cliched, as is learning, schooling. unless youve been asked for a symbol, stay well clear... floury introductions and symbolism just confuse the reader and serve basically no purpose