Please help me with this introduction! (1 Viewer)

epotolesmata

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Can I please have some feedback on this intro?

The question is: How does Wilfred Owen craft language and poetic techniques in order to comment on the fate of the soldiers in WW1?

The intro is: Wilfred Owen crafts language and poetic techniques in a variety of different poetic styles to comment on the fate of the soldiers in WW1. This is seen in the poems Strange Meeting and Dulce et Decorum Est. The poem Strange Meeting is written as a Ballad, Canto, Couplet, Elegy and a Lament. However, the poem Dulce et Decorum Est is written as an octave and a sestet. Owen then used a variety of language and poetic techniques such as onomatopoeia, oxymoron’s and allusion to craft a poem which comments on the fate of the soldiers in WW1.
 

Intrinsic

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What points are you really arguing? All I see is a restatement of the question, a list of techniques and structure of the poem.

And what is the fate of soldiers in WW1????
What is Strange Meeting and Dulce about? Nothing on its actual meaning just a list of techniques on it.
Not only is this simply about language and techniques, but its affect on the reader which makes those techniques effective. What kind of affect do these techniques have?
Also don't list 18 different techniques, just have a few. You need more on the actual fate of the soldiers than techniques in your intro right now - try to connect them both to hit the question hard
 

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