Second Chances??? (1 Viewer)

[Little Loz]

i was in a long distance relationship last year with a guy (we were best friends basically) i trusted him completly. when we eventually told each other that we like each other and started going out i was over the moon - excuse the cliche. he invited me to his formal and i got heaps excited and borrowed a dress etc.

however the day b4 the formal he breaks up with me. i was devasted!! then i find out he cheated on me and that the other girl was going to the formal.

i never got angry at him, i was disappointed,hurt and betrayed but i never got angry...i just accepted. now we r still friends. i like him as more then friends, i always have but that is probably coz he...i dont know how to explain it. he understands me completly, i never have to be anyone but myself with him, i dont have to explain stuff coz he understands, we have chemistry, he has a great sense of humour, he makes me happy.

do u think people can change and that i could give him a second chance?

 

[RingerINC]

No... i'm pretty sure he wont change... You can give him as many chances as you want.

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

u need to take a LONG time... if u ever plan too.. im talkin yrs..
ppl do.. and mabbe so will u.. just stay in contact and occupy ureself with other things in the meanwhile.. ..

 

[Little Loz]

the thing is i have tried to kepp myself "occupied". the result 3 unsuccessful relationships in 3 months.

 

[iamsickofyear12]

If you give him a second chance you are stupid. You shouldn't even be friends with him anymore in my opinion.

 

[Little Loz]

so if a person makes a mistake then they shouldnt be forgiven? we were friends for a long time b4 we went out. shouldnt the friendship be worth something?

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

well i meant a hobby.. not 3 other ppl.. lolz..
hmm .. mabbe they failed cos u spend a lot of ure energy on the long dist one..

all i kno is u need time APART.. so do watever is needed ...

 

[kaylee_89]

unknown.... hmm... yes...

If you give him a second chance you are stupid. You shouldn't even be friends with him anymore in my opinion.

yea... i agree wif iamsickofyear12..... my frend got back with her ex that she cheated on 3 times and they are friends but she has had 2 bf's since and you'll be a lot better off!
man who cares about sum fuker who lies and cheats on you as welll as breakin ur heart

move on.... thats my advice

 

[thejosiekiller]

it all depends on how much trust matters in a relationship for you- cause obviously hes displayed that he cant be trusted once b4

 

[jumb]

however the day b4 the formal he breaks up with me. i was devasted!! then i find out he cheated on me and that the other girl was going to the formal.

You got pwned.

 

[iamsickofyear12]

You need to move on, it's as simple as that.

 

[INXS]

You got pwned.

Dam straight. You are a very for giving person, but somehow i think people like him don't deserve a second chance. Just build a bridge, and get over it, move on, theres better people out there.

 

[iambored]

edit

 

[yulia]

so if a person makes a mistake then they shouldnt be forgiven? we were friends for a long time b4 we went out. shouldnt the friendship be worth something?

By not being angry, by forgiving him, by becoming friends again so quickly, you're letting him think it was ok.

For this reason, he'll do it again.

Relationships should be built on friendship. A friend is loyal, a friend doesn't hurt another friend, a friend isn't selfish within a friendship, you can trust a friend. He doesn't even have the basis of a friendship with you.

Was he the one who told you he cheated on you? It doesn't appear this way because you say you "found out" and not until after he dumped you. So already he hasn't been truthful to you, he's betrayed you and kept it a secret from you. He doesn't even respect you enough to be honest to you.

Don't waste your time. It's not worth it. It never is. A guy who makes you cry isn't worth your time. 3 unsuccessful relationships in 3 months is nothing, it doesn't mean you should go back to this guy. He doesn't make you happy, he has made you sad, you're just mentally attached. You have to sort through the frogs before you find your prince.

I know you're reading this thinking I'm mean. I know you think this is harsh and you're going to tell yourself that I don't know anything, that I'm wrong and that you know what you're doing and you want him back so you'll probably take him back. And if you do it's not until he does it again, whether it be in a month or 5 years that you realise that you may not want to hear it, but you should listen to us. But you should do it now, save yourself going through that pain again, he doesn't deserve you. A guy shouldn't have you until he proves he's worth it.

This guy will walk all over you. You'll find someone better. Just look out of high-school to find a guy.

 

[Tuggi3]

Ok, I'm gonna go against the norm here...

People deserve second chances BUT it all depends on what they did in the first place and if they have genuinely changed.

Honestly, IMO, people only change once something MAJOR has hapend to them to change their way of thinking and their beliefs. Unless your 100% sure he has changed and isn't playing again, then don't set yourself up for the pain.

Has anything happened to him recently to give you any reason to think he may have changed? You gotta think about whether or not, he deserves the chance and whether or not he'll abuse it. DON'T SET YOURSELF UP FOR A FALL AGAIN!

 

[pinkblinkbarbie]

the way you have described how you feel about him, to me, is expressing a friendship. i mean this is a guy who as you said "disappointed, hurt and betrayed" you.
i have this best friend who is a male, and i used to think we could get together and last forever, he is funny, caring, sensitive, sweet, responsible, he makes me feel safe and i always have him to turn to. i thought that we liked each other for a realtionship, we have been together on 3 seperate occasions, the longest lasting 4 months.
but the thing is..i have since fallen in love, and i can distinguish a realtionship from friendship now. and i think thats your problem. you have no idea if these are real feelings or if they are a friendship.
even if you belive you love him and should be with him, he treated you like crap, no girl deserves to be hurt, disappointed and betrayed by a man. if you are, you have to move, he is obviously an asshole.
be friends with him, im friends with me ex who treated me badly, but it goes no fruther than friendship. it might be hard and emotional at first, but in the long run you are saving yourself from so much pain and heartache.

 

[braad]

ok, right, us guys can be sumtimes associated with dogs...

we're loyal etc when treated right, n if we do the wrong thing....dont pussyshit about it, just tell us clearly, if the guy didnt know n actually was sorry, he'd be actually sad...if he's heartless n shallow, he wouldnt give a shit n would be staring at ur breasts

hope that dusnt help

 

[RingerINC]

ok, right, us guys can be sumtimes associated with dogs...

we're loyal etc when treated right, n if we do the wrong thing....dont pussyshit about it, just tell us clearly, if the guy didnt know n actually was sorry, he'd be actually sad...if he's heartless n shallow, he wouldnt give a shit n would be staring at ur breasts

hope that dusnt help

Don't worry braad im sure it doesn't help.

 

[braad]

Don't worry braad im sure it doesn't help.

thanx 4 ur vote of confidence

 

[INXS]

ok, right, us guys can be sumtimes associated with dogs...

We will do what ever you want for a simple treat, especially a shmako.