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SOMEONE CHECK MY ENGLISH ASSESSMENT its on "Witness" (1 Viewer)

dodgyv

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i am almost done writting it(10minute or so). just post something, so that i know that your willing to check my essay. i got to hand it in like right now... i just need the gramma spelling etc..you know not to fuss about the other stuff just that i aint that good at gramma so HELP ME PLZ

thx you very much for helping if you were willing to help.

ill post my essay up soon
 

Aplus

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You have to hand your assessment in 'right now', and you still have not finished, yet alone edited it? Well, you've left it dangerously, and recklessly late. Nevertheless, I'll be happy to read over it if you should post it soon.
 

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When you say, you have to hand it in now, are you actually staying behind at school?
 

dodgyv

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ok i just realise my conclusion are so pathetic atm im dead tired if an ideas of yours come up please show me. Thx
Evaluate how the composer develops a distinctive theme or diea through narrative and film techiniques.

The film Witness directed by Peter Weir has expresses the main idea of two worlds colliding with each other. Through the use of skillful film and camera techniques, that allows the audience to see into the lives of the Amish community, and the brief clashes in differences in culture with the modern world in 1984.

In a world with many different cultures Weir has used juxtaposition to emphasize the differences in those of the Amish, and the modern English society. Weir skillfully presents it in-directly. The opening scene commences with a green and lush setting, with all the nature beauty of Amish life. The skies are clear and blue, creating a calm and peaceful atmosphere. The Amish community being separated from the outside world emphasizes their obedience and maintains a link with nature. As the scene moves on to a stretch of road, an Amish cart is being pulled by a horse at a slow and unhurried rate, emphasizing their nature and the purest lifestyle. Furthermore this is juxtaposed to that of the truck with all its noise and mechanical workings, aggressively speeds pass the Amish cart. This further illustrates the two conflicting worlds and cultures, as the modern society is unable to cope with the calm and gentle Amish existence. Weir’s use of a juxtaposition shows these ideas indirectly, as Samuel and Rachael are traveling through the urban area in their cart, illustrates the two conflicting worlds and culture, with modern society.

The “murder” scene of the undercover officer, establishes a clashing of culture
with Samuel entering the toilet, which is presented through a camera shot of Samuels’s point of view, as he looks up at a clearly disturb man with a faint smile showing his state of innocence’s. The idea of corruption is prominent in the murder scene. As the two men enter the room, the camera is still focused on the man as it creates tension. Weir then uses symbolism and el mise en to illustrate the danger involved in a corrupt world. The camera changes to a long shot as the two men approach the innocent man allowing us to see clearly what is about to happen. Using a red material to blind folder the man, we get a close up shot before they cover his face with it, and cuts his throat as blood squirts out. Weir emphasizes the corruption in the modern world through the use of red to illustrate the danger involved and the el mise en of the horrific scene of blood and the knife as a motif shows Weir’s intention to amplify the idea of corruption in the modern society. Furthermore the director uses irony as we discover that the innocent man who was an undercover officer was actually killed by corrupted detectives. Ironically these men who were trained to protect the innocent kill an innocent man illustrate the corruption in the modern world, as the murder scene commences the camera cuts to Samuel peering through the crack in the door then cuts back to Samuel after the murder scene ends. Samuel locks the door as we get a shot of Samuels point of view as he steps away from the door, the camera changes to a close up shot of his face expressing his state of shock and fear which illustrates that Samuel has never seen anything like this before, his introduction to modern society and the murder represent the modern world. The lost of innocents which is shown through Samuel as he is an Amish, and has come from a caring community which despises any sort of violence, loses a degree of innocence’s through his experience of witnessing a horrific scene. Weir’s, ingeniously emphasizes the idea of the violence and corruption in the modern society, in contrast to the innocence’s in Samuel through the use of film techiniques.

The clashing of worlds that Weir presents as Eli, Samuels’s grandfather, lectures him about the evil of the ‘gun of hand’. The Amish unlike the modern society are peaceful and do not take any action to any fellow human being regardless of the provocations. The scene is lit with soft golden light and a medium shot to establish a pleasant environment. Samuel sits on Eli’s lap throughout the scene emphasizing the clear bond they have together. Eli speaks of the Amish law against killing of any kind despite the “type of person”. Samuel replies “I will only kill a bad man” demonstrates Samuels’s loss of innocence as Eli says “it is for god to decide”. The dialogue effectively presents the Amish people as genuine loving people and illustrates the religious nature of the Amish people. In contrast to the “ice cream” scene where Book becomes emotional and takes into his own hands to hit the non Amish youth that was abusing his Amish companion. Eli tells Book it is not our way but, Book replies it is my way shows that difference in resolving problems. The Amish takes no action no matter the situation while Book coming from a modern society believes it is the way to solve things. Weir uses contrast through the emotion that he stirs up is emphasizes through the dialogues.

Peter Weir a fantastic director of “witness” as it is his best creation. Weir use of various camera techniques, dialogue, symbolism creates two contrasting world within the film a cultural clash between the Amish community and the western community is an evitable part of humanity, as Weir demonstrates the importance of acceptance.
 

dodgyv

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standard... i am pathetic at English, Sorry... but umm done checking it yet? i am just waiting 4 a reply of my ultra improved essay Lol? oh, its also focus module like no related text just focusing on the film Witness
 

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dodgyv said:
The film Witness directed by Peter Weir has expresses the main idea of two worlds colliding with each other. "This is done" Through the use of skillful film Should be "skillful use of film" and camera techniques, that allows the audience to see into the lives of the Amish community, and the brief clashes in differences in culture with the modern world in 1984. This should all be one sentence but as an intro it's far too short. Also none of the commas are necessary.

In a world with many different cultures Weir has used juxtaposition to emphasize the differences in those of the Amish, No comma and the modern English society. Weir skillfully presents it in-directly. This is one word. The opening scene commences "begins" instead, commences just sounds wanky. with a green and lush "lush green" instead setting, with all the nature "natural" insteadbeauty of Amish life. The skies are clear and blue, creating a calm and peaceful atmosphere. The Amish community being separated from the outside world emphasizes their obedience and maintains a link with nature. As the scene moves on to a stretch of road, an Amish cart is being pulled by a horse at a slow and unhurried rate, emphasizing their nature and the purest lifestyle. you're just repeating yourself here. The slow pace indicates their slow lifestyle. Furthermore this is juxtaposed to that of the truck with all its loud noise and mechanical workings, aggressively speeds "speeding" not speeds pass the Amish cart. This further illustrates the two conflicting worlds and cultures, as the modern society is unable to cope with the calm and gentle Amish existence. Weir’s use of a juxtaposition shows these ideas indirectly, as Samuel and Rachael are traveling through the urban area in their cart, illustrates the two conflicting worlds and culture, with modern society. Get rid of all the commas here.

The “murder” scene of the undercover officer, establishes a clashing of culture
with Samuel entering the toilet, which is presented through a camera shot of Samuels’s point of view, as he looks up at a clearly disturb man with a faint smile showing his state of innocence’s. The idea of corruption is prominent in the murder scene. As the two men enter the room, the camera is still focused on the man as it creates tension. Weir then uses symbolism and el mise en to illustrate the danger involved in a corrupt world. The camera changes to a long shot as the two men approach the innocent man allowing us to see clearly what is about to happen. Using a red material to blind folder the man, we get a close up shot before they cover his face with it, and cuts his throat as blood squirts out. Weir emphasizes the corruption in the modern world through the use of red to illustrate the danger involved and the el mise en of the horrific scene of blood and the knife as a motif shows Weir’s intention to amplify the idea of corruption in the modern society. Furthermore the director uses irony as we discover that the innocent man who was an undercover officer was actually killed by corrupted detectives. Ironically these men who were trained to protect the innocent kill an innocent man illustrate the corruption in the modern world, as the murder scene commences the camera cuts to Samuel peering through the crack in the door then cuts back to Samuel after the murder scene ends. Samuel locks the door as we get a shot of Samuels point of view as he steps away from the door, the camera changes to a close up shot of his face expressing his state of shock and fear which illustrates that Samuel has never seen anything like this before, his introduction to modern society and the murder represent the modern world. The lost of innocents which is shown through Samuel as he is an Amish, and has come from a caring community which despises any sort of violence, loses a degree of innocence’s through his experience of witnessing a horrific scene. Weir’s, ingeniously emphasizes the idea of the violence and corruption in the modern society, in contrast to the innocence’s in Samuel through the use of film techiniques.

This is far too long and dense - separate out the tangents and run a spell check over this section. Also, stop putting commas everywhere.

The clashing of worlds that Weir presents as Eli, Samuels’s grandfather, lectures him about the evil of the ‘gun of hand’. The Amish unlike the modern society are peaceful and do not take any action to any fellow human being regardless of the provocations. The scene is lit with soft golden light and a medium shot to establish a pleasant environment. Samuel sits on Eli’s lap throughout the scene emphasizing the clear bond they have together. Eli speaks of the Amish law against killing of any kind despite the “type of person”. Samuel replies “I will only kill a bad man” demonstrates Samuels’s loss of innocence as Eli says “it is for god to decide”. The dialogue effectively presents the Amish people as genuine loving people and illustrates the religious nature of the Amish people. In contrast to the “ice cream” scene where Book becomes emotional and takes into his own hands to hit the non Amish youth that was abusing his Amish companion. Eli tells Book it is not our way but, Book replies it is my way shows that difference in resolving problems. The Amish takes no action no matter the situation while Book coming from a modern society believes it is the way to solve things. Weir uses contrast through the emotion that he stirs up is emphasizes through the dialogues.

Peter Weir is a fantastic director of “witness” This should be capitalised. Also it doesn't matter how good the thing is, you're not giving a film review. Thus this shouldn't be in at all. as it is his best creation. Weir use of various camera techniques, dialogue, symbolism creates two contrasting world within the film a cultural clash between the Amish community and the western community is an evitable part of humanity, as Weir demonstrates the importance of acceptance.
Everything in bold needs to be deleted. I helped as much as I could but this is pretty poor.
 

Aplus

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Sorry, I can't help. I just end up getting pissed off with the whole construction of your sentences and paragraphs and just end up deleting whole chunks of your work and rewrite it.
 

dodgyv

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yeah, i know i fixed up even more there were quite a few stuff that i had 2 do but i said 5minutes so i didnt want to show it to you any later. ill see what you done and ill submit the final one here and hand it it to sir a bit late but yeah
 

dodgyv

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its re edited i think i have to settle with this cant do anything about it...thx for the help though, i know it was a real bitch ready me essay but cheers.
Evaluate how the composer develops a distinctive theme or idea through narrative and film techniques.

The film “Witness” directed by Peter Weir expresses the idea of two worlds colliding with each other. This is done through the skillful use of film and camera techniques which allow the audience to see into the lives of the Amish community and the brief clashes in differences in culture with the modern world in 1984.

In a world with many different cultures Weir has used juxtaposition to emphasize the differences in those of the Amish and the modern Western society. Weir skillfully presents it indirectly. The opening scene begins with a lush green setting, with all the natural beauty of Amish life. The skies are clear and blue, creating a calm and peaceful atmosphere. The Amish community being separated from the outside world emphasizes their obedience and maintains a link with nature. As the scene moves on to a stretch of road, an Amish cart is being pulled by a horse at a slow and unhurried rate, emphasizing their nature and the purest lifestyle. Furthermore this is juxtaposed to that of the truck with all its noise and mechanical workings, aggressively speeds pass the Amish cart. This further illustrates the two conflicting worlds and cultures, as the modern society is unable to cope with the calm and gentle Amish existence. Weir’s use of a juxtaposition shows these ideas indirectly, as Samuel and Rachael are traveling through the urban area in their cart illustrates the two conflicting worlds and culture, with modern society.

The “murder” scene of the undercover officer, establishes a clashing of culture
with Samuel entering the toilet, which is presented through a camera shot of Samuels’s point of view, as he looks up at a clearly disturb man with a faint smile showing his state of innocence’s. The idea of corruption is prominent in the murder scene. As the two men enter the room, the camera is still focused on the man as it creates tension. Weir then uses symbolism and the ‘mise en scene’ to illustrate the danger involved in a corrupt world. The camera changes to a long shot as the two men approach the innocent man allowing us to see clearly what is about to happen. Using a red material to blindfold the man, we get a close up shot before they cover his face with it. Blood squirts out as his throat is cut. Weir emphasizes the corruption in the modern world through the use of red to illustrate the danger involved and the ’mise en scene’ of the horrific scene of blood and the knife as a motif shows Weir’s intention to amplify the idea of corruption in the modern society. Furthermore the director uses irony as we discover that the innocent man who was an undercover police officer was actually killed by corrupt detectives. Ironically, the fact that these men, who were trained to protect the innocent, kill an innocent man illustrates the corruption in the modern world. As the murder scene commences the camera cuts to Samuel peering through the crack in the door, then cuts back to Samuel after the murder scene ends. Samuel locks the door as we get a shot of Samuel’s point of view as he steps away from the door, the camera changes to a close up shot of his face expressing his state of shock and fear which illustrates that Samuel has never seen anything like this before. His introduction to modern society and the murder represent the modern world. The loss of innocence is shown through Samuel, as he is an Amish and has come from a caring community which despises any sort of violence. He loses a degree of innocence’s through his witnessing of the horrific scene. Weir’s, ingeniously emphasizes the idea of the violence and corruption in the modern society, in contrast to the innocence’s in Samuel through the use of film techniques.

The clashing of worlds that Weir presents as Eli, Samuels’s grandfather, lectures him about the evil of the ‘gun of hand’. The Amish unlike the modern society are peaceful and do not take action against any fellow human being regardless of the provocations. The scene is lit with soft golden light and a medium shot to establish a pleasant environment. Samuel sits on Eli’s lap throughout the scene emphasizing the clear bond they have together. Eli speaks of the Amish law against killing of any kind despite the “type of person”. Samuel reply “I will only kill a bad man” demonstrates Samuels’s loss of innocence as Eli says “it is for god to decide”. The dialogue effectively presents the Amish people as genuine loving people and illustrates the religious nature of the Amish people. In contrast to the “ice cream” scene where Book becomes emotional and takes into his own hands to hit the non Amish youth that was abusing his Amish companion. Eli tells Book it is not his way, but Book’s reply “it is my way” shows their differences in resolving problems. The Amish takes no action no matter the situation while Book coming from a modern society believes it is the way to solve things. Weir uses contrast through the emotion that he stirs up through the use of dialogues.

Weir’s use of various camera techniques, dialogue and symbolism creates two contrasting worlds within the film: a cultural clash between the Amish community and the western community is an inevitable part of humanity, as Weir demonstrates the importance of acceptance.
 

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dodgyv said:
its re edited i think i have to settle with this cant do anything about it...thx for the help though, i know it was a real bitch ready me essay but cheers.
Evaluate how the composer develops a distinctive theme or idea through narrative and film techniques.

The film “Witness” directed by Peter Weir expresses the idea of two worlds colliding with each other. This is done through the skillful use of film and camera techniques which allow the audience to see into the lives of the Amish community and the brief clashes in differences in culture with the modern world in 1984.

In a world with many different cultures Weir has used juxtaposition to emphasize the differences in those of the Amish and the modern Western society. Weir skillfully presents it indirectly. The opening scene begins with a lush green setting, with all the natural beauty of Amish life. The skies are clear and blue, creating a calm and peaceful atmosphere. The Amish community being separated from the outside world emphasizes their obedience and maintains a link with nature. As the scene moves on to a stretch of road, an Amish cart is being pulled by a horse at a slow and unhurried rate, emphasizing their nature and the purest lifestyle. Furthermore this is juxtaposed to that of the truck with all its noise and mechanical workings, aggressively speeds pass the Amish cart. This further illustrates the two conflicting worlds and cultures, as the modern society is unable to cope with the calm and gentle Amish existence. Weir’s use of a juxtaposition shows these ideas indirectly, as Samuel and Rachael are traveling through the urban area in their cart illustrates the two conflicting worlds and culture, with modern society.

The “murder” scene of the undercover officer, establishes a clashing of culture (clash of cultures)
with Samuel entering the toilet, which is presented through a camera shot of Samuels’s point of view, as he looks up at a clearly disturb man with a faint smile showing his state of innocence’s (innocence). The idea of corruption is prominent in the murder scene. As the two men enter the room, the camera is still focused on the man as it creates tension. Weir then uses symbolism and the ‘mise en scene’ to illustrate the danger involved in a corrupt world. The camera changes to a long shot as the two men approach the innocent man allowing us to see clearly what is about to happen. Using a red material to blindfold the man, we get a close up shot before they cover his face with it. Blood squirts out as his throat is cut. Weir emphasizes the corruption in the modern world through the use of red to illustrate the danger involved and the ’mise en scene’ of the horrific scene of blood and the knife as a motif shows Weir’s intention to amplify the idea of corruption in the modern society. Furthermore the director uses irony as we discover that the innocent man who was an undercover police officer was actually killed by corrupt detectives. Ironically, the fact that these men, who were trained to protect the innocent, kill an innocent man illustrates the corruption in the modern world. As the murder scene commences the camera cuts to Samuel peering through the crack in the door, then cuts back to Samuel after the murder scene ends. Samuel locks the door as we get a shot of Samuel’s point of view as he steps away from the door, the camera changes to a close up shot of his face expressing his state of shock and fear which illustrates that Samuel has never seen anything like this before. His introduction to modern society and the murder represent the modern world. The loss of innocence is shown through Samuel, as he is an Amish and has come from a caring community which despises any sort of violence. He loses a degree of innocence’s through his witnessing of the horrific scene. Weir’s (Weir), ingeniously emphasizes the idea of the violence and corruption in the modern society, in contrast to the innocence’s in Samuel through the use of film techniques.

The clashing of worlds that Weir presents as Eli, Samuels’s grandfather, lectures him about the evil of the ‘gun of hand’. The Amish unlike the modern society are peaceful and do not take action against any fellow human being regardless of the provocations. The scene is lit with soft golden light and a medium shot to establish a pleasant environment. Samuel sits on Eli’s lap throughout the scene emphasizing the clear bond they have together. Eli speaks of the Amish law against killing of any kind despite the “type of person”. Samuel (Samuel's) reply “I will only kill a bad man” demonstrates Samuels’s loss of innocence as Eli says “it is for god to decide”. The dialogue effectively presents the Amish people as genuine loving people and illustrates the religious nature of the Amish people. In contrast to the “ice cream” scene where Book becomes emotional and takes into his own hands to hit the non Amish youth that was abusing his Amish companion. Eli tells Book it is not his way, but Book’s reply “it is my way” shows their differences in resolving problems. The Amish takes (take) no action no matter the situation while Book coming from a modern society believes it is the way to solve things. (What type of camera shot was used?)Weir uses contrast through the emotion that he stirs up through the use of dialogues.

Weir’s use of various camera techniques, dialogue and symbolism creates two contrasting worlds within the film: a cultural clash between the Amish community and the western community is an inevitable part of humanity, as Weir demonstrates the importance of acceptance.
Did you write this in exactly forty minutes or less lol?
More camera shots, very important in close study.
Witness was a pretty good text back then.
 

dodgyv

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Forbidden. said:
Did you write this in exactly forty minutes or less lol?
More camera shots, very important in close study.
Witness was a pretty good text back then.
no this is what i will write in 40minutes, its really a speech i just hadnt made it into a speech format yet but i cant think of an intro conclusion on the spot, preparing the essay wasnt to hard i think 3hours. just said what came to me head, i should be able to write it in 40 though in test conditions.

i couldnt write any more camera shots, no point writing a camera shot if i dont say some bulshiat and relate or how it was conveyed through the ideas.
 

dodgyv

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mythical chaos said:
Okay I'll check it...

This is FULL OF EPIC FAIL
man everytime in boredofstudies when i post my essay its never a good reply...but in the test i get alot better than what people say...EPIC FAIL....last time i got all stressed out cause of these comments...

but anyways if your willing 2 check and make it totally uber awsome, then that would be awsome a true sick kunt u would be ^^
 

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hey mate

hope i'm not too late to give u a hand with this. *checks time and realises it is too late*

clash of cultures paragraph: do something about the 'disturbed man' bit. we know that samuel is innocent, but how do we know the disturbed man is 'evil/disturbed?' i.e. camera angles such as low angle shots, etc. making him appear larger than life, threatening etc. music that accompanies the bad guys' movements.

on the whole i think its ok. although try and link your points back to the essay question. this can be done by reiterating some of the words of the question into the beginning and end of each paragraph :)
 

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