Urgent! Intro Help. (1 Viewer)

[rsingh]

Hey guys, I've come up with this...

Journeys are often readily dismissed as a mere movement from one place to another. This may be the case for any ordinary journey, but a physical journey is much more than this. The physical journey entails the movement from one place to another, but it further allows the traveler to extend themselves physically, emotionally and intellectually as they respond to different challenges.


But I don't know, it sounds just average, and I'm not sure what also to include.
Any ideas?

 

[rusty_rouge]

hey rajiv

You've said stuff about overcoming challenges, do you talk about the learning and gaining of understanding reached as a result of undertaking a physical journey? - because self-discovery is often linked with physical journeys. If you do talk about it, you should put it in your intro.

But then, our class does imaginative journeys, LOL, so my intro is probably compleeeeetely different.

cheers, kate.

 

[MissSavage29]

Hey guys, I've come up with this...

Journeys are often readily dismissed as a mere movement from one place to another. This may be the case for any ordinary journey, but a physical journey is much more than this. The physical journey entails the movement from one place to another, but it further allows the traveler to extend themselves physically, emotionally and intellectually as they respond to different challenges.


But I don't know, it sounds just average, and I'm not sure what also to include.
Any ideas?

it does sort of sound like you are just repeating yourself in the first three sentences as you are basically sayign journies invovle movement from A - B in three dfferent ways.

take out the bit about a physical journey invoving movement - too obvious - and mabye add a little bit more about what your essay is talking about. like what rusty_rouge said - if one of your paragraphs is on self discovery add that to your intro -

 

[froggy_chik87]

i have put this in my intro - dont worry it aint the hole thing tho...

whilst a journey may physically take you to another place it can also allow you to grow spirtually, to discover aspects of your own identity that were previously unknown or confused.

 

[rsingh]

Thanks Katie for that!
And everyone else, appreciate it!


I actually changed my intro all together.. to something I intended to write initially..

The main elements common to all Physical Journeys are the catalyst, the obstacles and challenged faced, and the consequent outcomes of the journey. It is these three main components that define a physical journey, and allow the traveller to extend themselves physically, emotionally and intellectually as they respond to different challenges

I go on to state the texts I'm talk abt, but I still think there's something missing?