I have a friend... (1 Viewer)

[Silver Persian]

I have a friend who is strongly religious.

We have become quite close over the past year or so - mostly, initially, due to an intellectual/academic attraction. However, one night about a week ago this intellectual attraction became sexual, and we engaged in a night of hot horny sex.

I am currently unsure of where we stand and what I should do. My friend continues to express strongly religious views - including homophobic remarks (my freind is male btw) - and refuses to acknowledge his obvious, latent homosexuality. Simultaneously, he continues to flirt with me.

What advice do people have for me to help my poor misguided friend?

 

[dux&src]

I hope there is someone who can give you serious advice...for this..because i am clueless..

 

[ieatbarbies]

I'd say to sit him down and talk about what happens. He seems to be denial of what happened with you that one night...
I have a gay friend who is homophobic (I'm not even going to try to explain how that works). He hates gay people, and are fundamentally against them for social, religious and personal reasons. He believes they are wrong, etc. But he is still gay and continues liking many many guys. They are one sided, physical, mental and sexual attentions and they are all dedicated towards unknowing guy friends. I'm the only friend who knows of this secret of his and I always feel so lost to what is going to happen with him.

The guy you talk about remind me a lot of my friend. Please talk to him and rule a line somewhere. Establish things.

Good luck

 

[katie tully]

Uh, I'd back away until he is ready to acknowledge taking it up the butt isn't evil. Otherwise you're faced with the whole "you've ruined my life and made me gay, I'm not gay you seduced me", or whatever it is those crazy nuts say

 

[Iron]

You should probably comply for now. Wait and see if he's ready to open up emotionally and not just physically

 

[studentcheese]

Ignore him. If he continues to flirt with you, then he will realise his obvious homosexuality soon. After that, you can go back with him again

 

[Silver Persian]

I'd say to sit him down and talk about what happens. He seems to be denial of what happened with you that one night...
I have a gay friend who is homophobic (I'm not even going to try to explain how that works). He hates gay people, and are fundamentally against them for social, religious and personal reasons. He believes they are wrong, etc. But he is still gay and continues liking many many guys. They are one sided, physical, mental and sexual attentions and they are all dedicated towards unknowing guy friends. I'm the only friend who knows of this secret of his and I always feel so lost to what is going to happen with him.

The guy you talk about remind me a lot of my friend. Please talk to him and rule a line somewhere. Establish things.

Good luck

Sissyphobia in the gay community is actually not uncommon. A lot of gay men feel that the Carson Kressley clones are politically incorrect wankers who perpetuate unfair stereotypes. Final bit of advice is a little unclear. But thankyou for the sentiment

Uh, I'd back away until he is ready to acknowledge taking it up the butt isn't evil. Otherwise you're faced with the whole "you've ruined my life and made me gay, I'm not gay you seduced me", or whatever it is those crazy nuts say

But you see my dear, brave tully, this friend has actually been quite overt about sexual advances towards me. I'm not using my dirty homosexual tricks to lure poor innocent young men into sexual depravity - I'm quite willing to respect his retarded religious dogma

You should probably comply for now. Wait and see if he's ready to open up emotionally and not just physically

You of all people should know the depravity of meaningless sex.

 

[townie]

ur_inner_child always professed having a difficulty with a deeply religious friend of hers who was gay (male), and kinda half in denial, half not, so she may be able to help.

my personal advice: forget about the religious aspect for now, that is something you cant really change, and honestly shouldnt try to, even if the views offend you (which i'm sure they would, they do me too).

I think it's more important to focus on the friendship and tension issue. I have (unfourtunately) made the mistake of sleeping with friends, it can get messy, i've no doubt he's confussed and probably gay, but you have to tread carefully so as not be seen as taking advantage of him. i think the best course of action is to make it known to him, probably subtly, that you are more than happy to help him through any confusion he has in a completley non-sexual manner.

 

[Iron]

I have a Catholic friend who, one night at my place alone after bible study, was brave enough to admit to me in confidence that he has homosexual inclinations. He told me that it's very hard, but that he believes that he is called to abstinence. I told him that there was no shame in that, and respected him more for sharing this with me

we then made out for like an hour

 

[The_highwayman]

You should probably comply for now. Wait and see if he's ready to open up emotionally and not just physically

Haha imagery

 

[withoutaface]

Repent and find Jesus.

 

[jb_nc]

THis is a good website which should be able to help you: Exodus International - Home

 

[Raven3333]

I honestly have no advice, such an awkward situation. If religion is such a large part of his life he probably has alot of social ties developed due to religion so by "coming out" he would probably loose those as well which is probably what he fears. Then there is the whole enernity in hell thing as well which he believes. I hate to say it but your friend is stuck between a rock and a hard place and he has to decide for himself whats more important to him, his religion or a "happy" (and I don't mean that in an offensive way) lifestyle.

I know the above is probably no help but i wish the best for your friend

 

[moll.]

I honestly have no advice, such an awkward situation. If religion is such a large part of his life he probably has alot of social ties developed due to religion so by "coming out" he would probably loose those as well which is probably what he fears. Then there is the whole enernity in hell thing as well which he believes. I hate to say it but your friend is stuck between a rock and a hard place and he has to decide for himself whats more important to him, his religion or a "happy" (and I don't mean that in an offensive way) lifestyle.

I know the above is probably no help but i wish the best for your friend

More like stuck between a COCK and a hard place!!!
Bahahahahahaha

ha...

 

[The_highwayman]

More like stuck between a COCK and a hard place!!!
Bahahahahahaha

ha...

i thought the same thing, but the other way around.

 

[love.is.around]

If you guys are great mates, they why let this ruin... if you break up, then you loose a good friendship/

 

[Silver Persian]

In an attempt to follow the relationship advice procured on this forum, I have clearly explained to my friend the impossibility of a further relationship. Any future sexual engagement has been ruled out unless he undergoes significant shifts in his religious outlook.

However, recent meetings with him have been very volatile - ranging from conversations of a slightly coy, flirtatious nature to outright hostility. He is clearly struggling to engage with as a friend given our history, and the internal conflicts that I represent for him.

What should I do? Should I give him space, or make further attempts to express my desire for friendship etc?

 

[Raven3333]

What should I do? Should I give him space, or make further attempts to express my desire for friendship etc?

Well you did fuck him in the ass so yes giving him some space would be advisable.

 

[moll.]

Well you did fuck him in the ass so yes giving him some space would be advisable.

What the fuck? He didn't rape him.
Stfu.

 

[katie tully]

In an attempt to follow the relationship advice procured on this forum, I have clearly explained to my friend the impossibility of a further relationship. Any future sexual engagement has been ruled out unless he undergoes significant shifts in his religious outlook.

However, recent meetings with him have been very volatile - ranging from conversations of a slightly coy, flirtatious nature to outright hostility. He is clearly struggling to engage with as a friend given our history, and the internal conflicts that I represent for him.

What should I do? Should I give him space, or make further attempts to express my desire for friendship etc?

Space.