Girlfriend wants me to change something.... (1 Viewer)

[T- Rex]

suck her tits

 

[Uncle]

suck her tits

suck her tits AND ZITS

 

[kevinx2]

fuck her tits and zits and pits

 

[kevinx2]

fuck her tits and zits and pits

say that real fast guyzzz

 

[Fortify]

apparently eating pinapples are really good
it makes it taste sweet
and i am not joking here.

Personal experiences?

 

[Uncle]

Personal experiences?

tghat person makes pinapple punch out of orifice at groin

 

[hydrogenbondage]

Oh my god. Pineapple and Cranberry juices....

So here's what happened, we were making out, me sucking her tits, (not zits because that's yuck) and eventually I pulled out Big Bruno. She gives me a good whacking before I put on the rubber. She said, knowing that I was trying to remedying that disgusting smell, that if a condom tasted AND smelt better (she bought the raspberry flavored one with guy showing off his 8-pack of growth hormones on the cover) that I have to go see a doctor.
How stupid as if I was gonna do that! What would I tell him? 'Doctor my semen smells worse than shit from horseys, help me before I suffocate my girlfriend'

Anyway, I'm going John Rambo on the thrusting, her sounding like Mother Theresa's worst nightmare, and I come, like, after taking off the protection, she tastes.

Even I could smell it, she said it smelt like banana. What the fuck? Why didn't I just buy Glen 40 from the supermarket and spray it in on the bed or wash my bed sheets in Napisan?

Damn that's not cool guys, I was expecting like chocolate, so she cant resist giving me sucky-sucky time.

 

[Jachie]

Oh my god. Pineapple and Cranberry juices....

So here's what happened, we were making out, me sucking her tits, (not zits because that's yuck) and eventually I pulled out Big Bruno. She gives me a good whacking before I put on the rubber. She said, knowing that I was trying to remedying that disgusting smell, that if a condom tasted AND smelt better (she bought the raspberry flavored one with guy showing off his 8-pack of growth hormones on the cover) that I have to go see a doctor.
How stupid as if I was gonna do that! What would I tell him? 'Doctor my semen smells worse than shit from horseys, help me before I suffocate my girlfriend'

Anyway, I'm going John Rambo on the thrusting, her sounding like Mother Theresa's worst nightmare, and I come, like, after taking off the protection, she tastes.

Even I could smell it, she said it smelt like banana. What the fuck? Why didn't I just buy Glen 40 from the supermarket and spray it in on the bed or wash my bed sheets in Napisan?

Damn that's not cool guys, I was expecting like chocolate, so she cant resist giving me sucky-sucky time.

wat

 

[Eclipse008]

YouTube - Jizz In My Pants

 

[Fortify]

YouTube - Jizz In My Pants

It's not that funny.

 

[hydrogenbondage]

That's rude!

Anyway, vaginas smell pretty bad too, so I don't know why my girlfriend is complaining about that grotesque aroma.

Did you know the oral sex is the better way to stimulate the clitoris because like, theres some 8000 nerves on the clitoris. What the hell? the head of my penis is like 10 x as big, and has only half the number of nerves.

Maybe for every time I have to smell rotten fish from her knickers she should give me 10 fellatio's. - And drown in the smell of Sydney Olympic Park Aquatic Centre. Ten times.

This is so shit, I can't believe I'm having relationship problems over sex.

 

[dickiie]

tell her to go take a shower or wash her va-gee gee before aye? You should also wash that helmet of yours too.

 

[Uncle]

Oh my god. Pineapple and Cranberry juices....

So here's what happened, we were making out, me sucking her tits, (not zits because that's yuck) and eventually I pulled out Big Bruno. She gives me a good whacking before I put on the rubber. She said, knowing that I was trying to remedying that disgusting smell, that if a condom tasted AND smelt better (she bought the raspberry flavored one with guy showing off his 8-pack of growth hormones on the cover) that I have to go see a doctor.
How stupid as if I was gonna do that! What would I tell him? 'Doctor my semen smells worse than shit from horseys, help me before I suffocate my girlfriend'

Anyway, I'm going John Rambo on the thrusting, her sounding like Mother Theresa's worst nightmare, and I come, like, after taking off the protection, she tastes.

Even I could smell it, she said it smelt like banana. What the fuck? Why didn't I just buy Glen 40 from the supermarket and spray it in on the bed or wash my bed sheets in Napisan?

Damn that's not cool guys, I was expecting like chocolate, so she cant resist giving me sucky-sucky time.

Oh shit you forgot to buy Clearasil.

 

[Eclipse008]

It's not that funny.

I know. But I thought it was appropriate given the OP's post

 

[hydrogenbondage]

Yeah showering is a good idea except, no can be really bothered..

*in the middle of making out* "Let's go and shower yeah?"
Where's the logic in that?
Shower sex doesn't work by the way, the comdoms lubricant washes off really quickly so is like rubbing your face against rubber, too much friction = pain.

I thinks its alright now, we might just have to turn on the fan and open the windows, to get some breeze, because, you know, sex is filthy.

 

[simonloo]

Dude, have you tried my suggestion of eating celery yet?

 

[DailyChocoMilk]

Just laugh at her, or tell her that "hey? I don't complain about YOUR smell"

-you'll never hear of a smell of ANY kind ever again.

 

[Eclipse008]

Just laugh at her, or tell her that "hey? I don't complain about YOUR smell"

-you'll never hear of a smell of ANY kind ever again.

OR
He'll never get laid again.
Girls are self conscious about their smell. If she thinks he'll pay her out about it, I doubt she'll be overly enthused about having sex.

 

[Boxes]

just tell her to eat your asshole.

 

[chelbanga]

been told tht if you eat lots fruit it makes it better