HOW TO PICK A UNIVERSITY BY STUDENT LEADER
1. If you have friends go to 2 else go to 3
2. If they are all going to the same university go to 4 else go to 3
3. If there is a university within 30 minutes public transport of you go to 5 else go to 8
4. If there is a closer university to get to go to 6 else go to 7
5. If it doesn’t offer your course or impress your parents go to 7 else if the distance from
6. If this closer university offers your course with a REALISTIC ATAR and you don’t really care about your friends go to 9 else go to 10
7. If it offers your course (with a REALISTIC ATAR) and is approved by your nazi Asian parents go to that uni
8. If you have Asian parents go to 9 else go to 10
9. If you are basically deciding between USyd, ANU, UNSW and UMelb due to parents go to whatever is closer or whatever will offer you a good social group if you consider this more important.
10. If all of your friends are going to USyd, ANU, UNSW and UMelb go to 9 else go to 11
11. If you actually care about your career and realise that most non-Go8 universities are trash go to 9 else go to 12
12. Congratulations! You don’t care about your career so why the fuck did you read this shit. Go to TAFE and enjoy having a house in your late 20s rather than a $40,000 HECS debt.