opposite gender best friends (2 Viewers)

_kuroo

_kuroo

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i had this best friend thats the opposite gender to me. the feelings were mutual, so no love or chemistry or romance going between us. and we use to call each other every night, text all day, say random things, hang out whenever we felt like, had a secret meeting spot, shared everything, kept no secrets and were always the first priority on our friends lists. then 3 months ago she started to change and stopped doing all the things we did and became more distant and i tried to maintain the friendship and fix whatever problems we had but it was nearly impossible so i gave up and we've stopped talking. now i just dont believe that best friends of opposite gender exist because ive had 2 other girls like that and ended the same way before this happened.

am i in the right or wrong to totally ignore her now?
 
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S

Smoke Eater

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um..

My bestfriend of 3 years (Halfway through the 4th year) is female. She didn't have a boyfriend the first 2 years but for the last year she's had a boyfriend and we have none of what you describe. She's not someone I'd give up on either. I love her dearly in a platonic way and she's worth fighting for even through our rough patches that we have experienced. We've had a falling out recently but she knows we're still friends, I just need time away to due to other factors. I plan to reconcile with her next month.

I think if she means something to you then why would you consider giving up?
 
Shadowdude

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my story's not that interesting

basically i met a really awesome girl, got really close to her, but stuffed up majorly again and again and again

i dont blame her for not liking me - i did stupid things and i figure apologising out of the blue might just remind her "oh wait this guy did this" and then she'd hate me again - but ideally i'd like to be on good terms with her again considering she's pretty important to me, and it is worth trying to fight for us being on good terms again.

the scenario above has been played out multiple times in my life... but in one instance at least, i figure that letting her go is a very stupid thing to do.


/pouring my heart out
 
iRuler

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Leave this thread on topic guys (you know who you are).
 
Aysce

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_kuroo said:
i had this best friend thats the opposite gender to me. the feelings were mutual, so no love or chemistry or romance going between us. and we use to call each other every night, text all day, say random things, hang out whenever we felt like, had a secret meeting spot, shared everything, kept no secrets and were always the first priority on our friends lists. then 3 months ago she started to change and stopped doing all the things we did and became more distant and i tried to maintain the friendship and fix whatever problems we had but it was nearly impossible so i gave up and we've stopped talking. now i just dont believe that best friends of opposite gender exist because ive had 2 other girls like that and ended the same way before this happened.

am i in the right or wrong to totally ignore her now?
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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that maybe she's under the impression that you like her and she doesn't exactly know what to do but just to stop talking all together, to make some distance. (I don't exactly understand how you and her and acting but its a possibility) Alternatively, she could just have some really bad personal issues going on. Don't totally ignore her now, just give her a little bit of time and try again later. Trying to constantly maintain this friendship may make you look kinda desperate, clingy and whatnot.
 
kaz1

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iruler I will destroy you cunt

OT: tell her "bby you being so distant, bby I miss you, bby come back"
 
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Yeah, i've had the exact same thing happen to me. My best friend who was a girl and it had been going on for about a year and a half or so. Like you we would constantly talk to each other, we would call each other whenever we were free and we had late night phone conversations until 3 in the morning, we would sneak out and see each other and then go down to the beach where we would just lie together for hours and look at the stars and talk about things. Then we had a bit of a fight, it really wasn't that big of a deal and i just forgot about it despite some of the things that she had said because she meant more to me then a silly argument and now we aren't really friends which absolutely blows. I miss her, we still talk from time to time but she always just gives me one word answers so i have pretty much stopped trying..
 
mirakon

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One of my best friends is a girl and we've maintained a great friendship without ever believing we need to turn it romantic or anything. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, girls are human beings too and the notion that any relationship with them has to have sexual purposes is misguided and immature.
 
b00m

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mirakon said:
One of my best friends is a girl and we've maintained a great friendship without ever believing we need to turn it romantic or anything. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, girls are human beings too and the notion that any relationship with them has to have sexual purposes is misguided and immature.
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it's more of the fact that guys being friends with girls, more often than not, can lead lead to the development of feelings and such

it's just the way guys work

 
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