Depressed (1 Viewer)

[Disssi]

Hey, fellow people at BOS I feel I need to share this with you since I feel I have no one else to share this with. So i'm current in yr 12 doing HSC next week. However, I still have no clue what course/degree to do. Its made me really depressed. I just don't know anymore. I worked so hard this year and will probs get 95+ but, what the point if I don't know what to do. I feel like such a disappointment to myself and my parents rn, I kinda wish my life was over.

If you guys have any wisdom/advice that would help me or cheer me up that would be deeply appreciated. Because I feel like no one really understands me and I really don't have anyone to share to how I truly feel.

Why not take a gap year? It’ll help you figure things out

 

[abstractaviator]

Why not take a gap year? It’ll help you figure things out

yeah I 100000% second this. OP, I still barely know what to do (in terms of uni and studying), and taking a gap year seems like a really good option for 3 main reasons:

1 - It gives me plenty of time to figure myself out
2 - It gives me the opportunity to get life experience I otherwise might not get while studying in uni
3 - I can work and save up money (which could be used for uni fees, a car, etc.)

Either way OP, don't put too much pressure on yourself right now. You're still incredibly young and have a really long road ahead of you. Trust me when I say this - your ATAR and getting into uni doesn't matter as much in the long run as you think it does (unless you wanna get into medicine, but even then there are many different pathways). There have been plenty of people who have gotten a 95+ ATAR, but have ended up dropping out of uni because they realized it wasn't what they wanted. Moreover, when you're 21 you can get into a degree through a Matured Aged Entry scheme, where you don't even NEED an ATAR. That's only 3 years away.

Your feelings are perfectly valid (and normal). Depression is horrible and I completely understand that. It's like being in a hole you don't know how/can't get out of. Seeing a therapist is DEFINITELY worth a shot - they'll be able to help guide you to your happy place

I wish you luck bro - I mean that. If you're capable of getting a 90+ ATAR, clearly you've got massive potential and will do amazing at whatever it is you find passion in. Just give it time, and most importantly, have fun.

Wish you the best brother

 

[uniqueusername1]

yeah I 100000% second this. OP, I still barely know what to do (in terms of uni and studying), and taking a gap year seems like a really good option for 3 main reasons:

1 - It gives me plenty of time to figure myself out
2 - It gives me the opportunity to get life experience I otherwise might not get while studying in uni
3 - I can work and save up money (which could be used for uni fees, a car, etc.)

Either way OP, don't put too much pressure on yourself right now. You're still incredibly young and have a really long road ahead of you. Trust me when I say this - your ATAR and getting into uni doesn't matter as much in the long run as you think it does (unless you wanna get into medicine, but even then there are many different pathways). There have been plenty of people who have gotten a 95+ ATAR, but have ended up dropping out of uni because they realized it wasn't what they wanted. Moreover, when you're 21 you can get into a degree through a Matured Aged Entry scheme, where you don't even NEED an ATAR. That's only 3 years away.

Your feelings are perfectly valid (and normal). Depression is horrible and I completely understand that. It's like being in a hole you don't know how/can't get out of. Seeing a therapist is DEFINITELY worth a shot - they'll be able to help guide you to your happy place

I wish you luck bro - I mean that. If you're capable of getting a 90+ ATAR, clearly you've got massive potential and will do amazing at whatever it is you find passion in. Just give it time, and most importantly, have fun.

Wish you the best brother

Could of not said it any better

 

[Suz D]

Hey, fellow people at BOS I feel I need to share this with you since I feel I have no one else to share this with. So i'm current in yr 12 doing HSC next week. However, I still have no clue what course/degree to do. Its made me really depressed. I just don't know anymore. I worked so hard this year and will probs get 95+ but, what the point if I don't know what to do. I feel like such a disappointment to myself and my parents rn, I kinda wish my life was over.

If you guys have any wisdom/advice that would help me or cheer me up that would be deeply appreciated. Because I feel like no one really understands me and I really don't have anyone to share to how I truly feel.

Okay, I understand what you are going through. I struggled with tons of stress, not knowing what I wanted to do and just general burn out. Which, btw, is completely normal (which still doesn't make it any better though).

The good thing is, that you are only young and just finishing school. No one at our age should be expected to figure out our whole life and future. Most adults go through about 5 career changes throughout their lifetime. So it's okay to not know who you want to be or your future. You have plenty of time to figure it all out! It might be a good idea to take a gap year (if you aren't planning to already) to just figure out afterwards. You will change into a new person after HSC is over. And you will have time to stop studying and worrying about school, and just focus on yourself.

Also with the point you said about the ATAR, lemme let you in a little secret- it really doesn't matter. If you plan to go to a prestigious uni, then yeah sure. But if you are taking a gap year, doing work/other education (e.g. TAFE) or just a easier to get into uni, the ATAR doesn't really matter. So don't stress.

If you are planning on going to uni next year, write down a list of all the careers/study choices you are interested in. And then (this helps for me), but make a pros and cons list for them. But whatever works for you, you do that. It'll be okay.

Also, you aren't a disappointment. You seem to be doing well in school. What matters is that you are taking care of YOURSELF. It's no use stressing over things if it takes a toll on your mental health. Take care of yourself first. Keep going, look after yourself, eat good food (both tasty and healthy food- it's a balance), doing your personal hobbies (not just mindlessly scrolling on social media- maybe play video games, sport, draw, cook, watch movies). You'll be okay! Don't give up!

 

[Suz D]

Thank you guys, the support was really necessary for me. It's good to see people share similar experiences and not everyone makes the right decisions in life. However, the fact that people only show their success creates a negative perception. After reading stories of other people who have failed or have constantly changed courses and constantly failed I have gained a deeper appreciation for life. Maybe life is not so bad after all as the learning process makes it interesting and failing is good. This feels much better than being pressurised to make the right decision as failure is portrayed to be avoided as everyone seems to be doing well in life.

Unfortunately, many people who go through this phase may suicide as they feel their life is over. I am glad to hear your stories. I am glad for your support. I know that I will not only be telling people how much I succeeded in life but, I will also tell them how many times I failed in my early years. Because failure is ok, its good.

Please, do the same. Share to your friends and family not only your achievements but, your failures. You don't know how much that can change someone's life.

I definitely know what you mean about mental health issues and suicide. I have had very close people in my life die because they felt their life amounted to nothing and there was no other option. These various losses really affected our family, to a point where my mom decided to become a counselor and is helping kids. It is a very serious issue that most people disregard and avoid, especially in Australia (that I've noticed) and for males. That's why it is very important to be there for people and listen to everything. The signs may be difficult to see but it's important to be aware, especially when people start to change for the worse.

So I am glad you reached out and found some reassurance, even if we are just a bunch of strangers. It's okay to ask for help and that you need some guidance. I am glad that you and others have the courage to say that things aren't okay at the moment. But things get better, and I have seen this in action many times! I like to think of these times as a storm, and that you must keep going and the storm will eventually pass and things will be brighter. So just take care of yourself now and find others to lean on. You can do it!