Bored Of Studies

(Arise.)
I just wanted to get stronger. I had enough. I realised that my own incompetence, my own failures, the pettiness that I dragged through the air, every second, minute , hour, day, year, every epoch and reality - I was not strong enough.

I was good but not great, willed but not steeled, content but not happy. Every death, whether it be physical, mental or spiritual, it triggered something in me. I had to reach out. The illusion of change only made the confinement from the constant agony of weakness that more unbearable, that more detestable, that more disgusting. I had to rebel, I must rebel, I refuse.

But alas, it dawns upon me, this thought is a mere thought, the truth is I am a mortal, I am a slave - no a knave, to desire, to be sloth and content, I am a creature that sees itself as insignificant and petty, content with living in the mirage of mediocrity. Like a mouse in a snake pit, a rabbit in a jungle of foxes, man in front of god, I succumb and subjugate myself, I, Am, Weak. NO. NO I AM NOT.

This time, it was different, this time I thought, WHY SHOULD I LIVE IN THE SHACKLES OF MAN? And there it was, after what was an infinite regress of dying and suffering, a salvation was offered "Do you wish to accept". Yes I do, I accept the $5 value range offer DOMINOS. Ever since then, I've become a monster, no longer a human entity, my existence in this realm is only for speculation and pity.

Blank, before I was weak willed, I could not grasp the bounds of your strength, I was fated a path worse than that to hell, one of contempt and mediocrity, through this death and now this rebirth, I have awoken and now I carve my own standing in life. It would be my greatest honour to duel with you, to the death, behind Mt Druitt's pizza hut.

Mods, if you delete this, I shall rain terror upon you, greater than that on Olympus. Feel the wrath of an undead emperor.

I have a few points to mention as someone who has had many significant, life changing epiphanies that I believed were ‘the moment’ where I got to begin my journey as the chosen one.

First, I have a single thing that I would like for you to consider.

There is a difference between devotion and obsession, and in order to make sure your core self is that of a normal person’s who is capable of the feelings that you claim to feel at the highest level of intensity and sense of adventure throughout the process of living your life (in order to be extraordinary), understand that all philosophies come from a place of madness, not wisdom.

Live your life and live it well, that’s all you have to do.

Secondly, in regards to your declaration of war, I would prefer it if we, instead of being like Batman and Joker to each other, were equals who shared the same life story of experiencing the adventures and daily life of the few people in the world who are living legends.

Such as how Cleopatra and Caesar The Great lived at the same time, the same possibility of legends being tied up in the same fate could be applied to us.

And so, even though you have personal memories to do with your own life story that is specifically to do with your sentimentality of a dominoes pizzeria, since I didn’t experience that particular memory as a shared life story with you, it doesn’t seem fair for only you calling the shots on what sentimental thing you get to honour.

Before you devote yourself to a particular time, place, or even person, I would like you to remain open to allowing for new experiences to come your way that you can become nostalgic and sentimental upon also.

Now, with that out of the way, assuming that you aren’t joking and that I can trust that what you’ve been saying about yourself is true, I would also like to have our fates to intertwine with the grand scheme.

However, right now I’m trying to fulfil a particular goal of mine that I would like to accomplish in order to be worthy of being the otherworldly being I seek to become.

Until that time comes, I don’t want any misinterpretations/associations to be made by those I could befriend due to the regrettable mistakes that can happen due to a current lack of character; rather than to be understood for the person I really am, and am trying to return to being in an authentic and honest way.

So, in the meantime, before I am willing to try and cross paths, we’ll most likely have to continue to live our own life stories, make some significant memories, and prove to ourselves and each other indirectly that our fates point to the direction that we currently have decided for ourselves.

Who knows, maybe our decisions will change as a result along the way, but at least we will be remaining true to what we find personal to ourselves, rather than be obsessed with a particular decision that we swore to never break in respect to a past but better version of ourselves who could truly care and have a relationship with those memories.

Every moment can become a significant memory with the appropriate context and atmosphere, meaning that even right now as you are reading this, this too has the potential to be your ‘chosen one’ moment.