12/20 (1 Viewer)

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lionking1191

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wendus said:
lol... it must just be me then. i thought the romanovs were dead boring.
JFK assassination was much more interesting - we got to act it out :)
 

untitled....

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you obviously cant see quotation marks, and posting it as a quote on BOS can have its errors especially if u edit it, i copied and pasted the date coz it saves time and i have a vast vocabulary... although, i cant defend myself on theactual content of the essay, hence the original reason i posted it up here FOR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM....
and thesesare my references....
BIBLIOGRAPHY
“Militarism and WW2 (1912 - 1945)”
Available at http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2129.html 22/8/08
http://www.willamette.edu/~rloftus/militarismrise.html 23/8/08
http://www.britannica.com/#tab=active~home%2Citems~home&title=Britannica%20Online%20Encyclopedia 23/8/08
“The Rise of Militarism in Prewar Japan: A Critical Review” by Sandra T. Jamison
Available at http://sunzi1.lib.hku.hk/hkjo/view/7/700204.pdf 19/8/08
“Japan’s March Towards Militarism” by Bill Gordon
Available at http://wgordon.web.wesleyan.edu/papers/jhist2.htm 19/8/08
http://countrystudies.us/japan/131.htm 24/8/08
“Japan Tradition and Transformation” by Edwin O. Reischauer and Albert M. Craig pp. 239-255
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history.do?action=tdihArticleYear&id=50629 24/8/08
 

tanjin

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Why can't we see quotation marks on bos?

"I can see them"

You cheated. You got a shit mark. It's only Year 11. Deal with it.
 

lionking1191

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i would have thought the comments here were constructive enough.
most people gave a serious critical judgement of ur essay in their first response at least

even taking away the coping and pasting part there are still substantial flaws in the essay which has already been raised. ie. lack of focus on ques (messy intro), awkward integration of quotes/historians, structural probs etc.
 

SimonLee13

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I'll give you credit for copy pasting, then not listing them but using other resources as your bibliography. I thought of that in year 5 personally xD
 

untitled....

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Personally, I got over the satisfaction of intentionally trying to put people down waaaaayyy back in Year Two.

So, I'll leave my comment at that and insult other people, face-to-face, who won't know that I just lied...
 

untitled....

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SimonLee13 said:
I'll give you credit for copy pasting, then not listing them but using other resources as your bibliography. I thought of that in year 5 personally xD
Oh, so you started doing that before the work even got tough?
 

sonyaleeisapixi

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untitled.... said:
Oh, so you started doing that before the work even got tough?
I thought you were leaving your commentary "at that".

Man up and take criticism.
 

tanjin

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untitled.... said:
the original reason i posted it up here FOR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM....
Here it goes.

Aerath said:
Well you obviously copied and pasted. The date hyperlinks are still there. And there's many changes in font.
Groucho Marxist said:
i don't know what you consider "working your butt off" but maybe next time you can try not copy-pasting
wendus said:
yeah is plagiarism working your butt off? you should've gotten zero for that.
Kirsty Xx said:
P.S - As a tip, in future submit LEGITIMATE work
tanjin said:
It's plagiarised.
The structure is horrible.
Your introduction/conclusion is messy.
You haven't answered the question.
No referencing.
BE GLAD YOU GOT 12/20.
I could go on...

DON'T FUCKING PLAGIARISE.
Seems to be your main problem.

Are these not constructive enough for you?
 

wendus

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dude where is WIKIPEDIA in your biblio???

and

lionking1191 said:
JFK assassination was much more interesting - we got to act it out
oooh sounds like fun :) we acted out 'going over the top' in WWI ... everybody just fell down and died hahaha
 

12o9

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I don't see why you're asking for criticism if all you want us to do is praise your 'work'. There's obviously something wrong with it if a whole 'board' of people dislike what you've done, not to mention your very own teacher.
Despite what you claim, people have mentioned that sections of your essay have come straight out of wikipedia =/, at the very least you could include it in your references. Even if it is your own work, factors such as improper formatting may make it seem like you've simply 'copied and pasted'.
I'm not sure if you've just over looked it or failed to accept it, but people have included what I think you would call 'constructive' criticism.

tanjin said:
It's plagiarised.
The structure is horrible.
Your introduction/conclusion is messy.
You haven't answered the question.

No referencing.
BE GLAD YOU GOT 12/20.
People have given you their criticism, whether you improve or not depends on how you utilise it :).
 

HalcyonSky

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dude just fucking drop out right now, you're not going to get over 40 in your hsc
 

Aerath

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SimonLee13 said:
I'll give you credit for copy pasting, then not listing them but using other resources as your bibliography. I thought of that in year 5 personally xD
Oh snap. I did that in like Year 3. :p And of course, I did it in Year 5-9. Then stopped in Year 10....because I thought it would be better to do my own work. :p

untitled said:
So, I'll leave my comment at that and insult other people, face-to-face, who won't know that I just lied...
Does -anyone- reckon that you didn't cheat? Every single person here has said that you've cheated.

untitled said:
you obviously cant see quotation marks, and posting it as a quote on BOS can have its errors especially if u edit it, i copied and pasted the date coz it saves time and i have a vast vocabulary... although, i cant defend myself on theactual content of the essay, hence the original reason i posted it up here FOR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM....
and thesesare my references....
Oh fuck me dead. We can't see 'quotation marks'. Don't bullshit. And as for your vast vocabulary - it wasn't that great. I reckon I understood every single word, maybe except for 'imperial' (note the use of quotation marks), and it's not like I've never heard of it before, and it's just probably because I'd struggle to define what imperial means.

I can't believe you'd have the audacity to:
1. Bitch about the teacher being an unfair marker
2. Bitch about the fact that you 'worked your ass off' (use of quotation marks again).
3. Bitch about others not giving you constructive criticism.
4. And then try to defend yourself, by accusing all of us of putting you down, which, I suppose is true, but you were asking for it, on a plate.
5. Provide a bibliography containing sites that I bet half of which you used, because half of them they have nothing to do with events in 1931. (Then again, I may be mistaken, cause I don't do Mod).
 

Pacchiru

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Aerath said:
Oh snap. I did that in like Year 3. :p And of course, I did it in Year 5-9. Then stopped in Year 10....because I thought it would be better to do my own work. :p


Does -anyone- reckon that you didn't cheat? Every single person here has said that you've cheated.


Oh fuck me dead. We can't see 'quotation marks'. Don't bullshit. And as for your vast vocabulary - it wasn't that great. I reckon I understood every single word, maybe except for 'imperial' (note the use of quotation marks), and it's not like I've never heard of it before, and it's just probably because I'd struggle to define what imperial means.

I can't believe you'd have the audacity to:
1. Bitch about the teacher being an unfair marker
2. Bitch about the fact that you 'worked your ass off' (use of quotation marks again).
3. Bitch about others not giving you constructive criticism.
4. And then try to defend yourself, by accusing all of us of putting you down, which, I suppose is true, but you were asking for it, on a plate.
5. Provide a bibliography containing sites that I bet half of which you used, because half of them they have nothing to do with events in 1931. (Then again, I may be mistaken, cause I don't do Mod).

Lolz. A hit right to the head.
 

lionking1191

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wendus said:
dude where is WIKIPEDIA in your biblio???

and



oooh sounds like fun :) we acted out 'going over the top' in WWI ... everybody just fell down and died hahaha
ahha. one of our other classes did the sinking of Lusitania back in the junior years and apparently the only person who "survived" was a girl... (you had to jump over something)
 
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