HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDIT:
For those of you who haven't read this yet... theres an email going around about this years cultural night. Man this dude is ripping it up... read on!
Cultural night 06- A pile of shit.
From the moment the doors opened, it was evident that Cultural night 06 would be an array of a steaming pile of shit. The unfriendly ticket collectors ‘greeted’ you, demanded your tickets, and sent you wandering into a crowd of overdressed, selfish swarm of Indians, Sri Lankans, Pakistani’s, Bangladeshi’s and other ethnic minorities, or put politically incorrectly, ‘curries’.
There were girls, boys, men, women, and the elderly, all dressed with make up (boys included), glittering attire that I’m sure they placed their house on a second mortgage to obtain, who were all anticipating probably one of the biggest anti-climaxes of the year.
The Cultural night Committee 06 claimed that it would be a CN like no other, and this was perhaps, their only honest remark. The sectioned seating, a new, but failed attempt to maintain order was one of the new procedures for 2006. However the ushers who ambiguously waved you into a direction that was supposedly your section, stamped a letter on you, and hurried you inside, provided limited assistance in maintaining this desired ‘order’.
There was atleast one or two hours of bustling into the convention center, even though it had stated on the ticket that Doors will be closed during performances. Lie number 1. Not to mention the lack of professionalism when introducing CN06, the poor humour, and the poor structure, all clearly indicated by the absence of audience interaction. Put simply jokes, cracks, lame ass comments, whatever you may call it, received minimal attention to the audience, as the rumbling of stomachs all around the convention center continued to grow louder and louder blocking out the overly scripted, overly timed “24” skit, which actually made one felt that 24 long hours had gone by.
People got fed up, moved outside, anticipating a meal in a takeaway container waiting for them. Another indication of a lack of professionalism as no one announced the time of intermission and simply permitted a hoard of curries stampeding out of the convention center.
This rumble however was not to be appeased during intermission, where the audience assumed that dinner would be served in a quick and efficient manner. Lie number 2.No one had expectations of the food; we all knew it would be cardboard coated in masala, but hunger plays several tricks on one’s mind.
The lines for the non vegetarian and vegetarian food were too close, with people clashing into each other. In fact, the term “line” is used very loosely to describe a swarm of people attacking each other for the food. There was no one to control this, no Cultural night committee members to appease this, as they were busy digging into their cardboard with masala drooling down their mouths. Then there was the announcement by the oaf with the loud speaker who stated without shame that the non vegetarian food hadn’t arrived yet twenty minutes after people had been ‘lining up’. When the food did arrive, it was served slowly, poorly, in an un-efficient manner, not to mention the grease that poured out of the containers. Not forgetting that many people who had been truthfully lining up
missed out and instead had to feast on ‘add-water’ jamun’s and samosa’s. People who had done the right thing the night by lining up were denied food, and were simply stated that there would be food after the show. Through calculation, dressing up= 2 hours, arriving at 4pm and the show finishing at 10pm, this allowing people to go without food for eight hours. An indication of unprofessionalism? I definitely think so.
Arriving back into the centre with the rude ushers barking at you for one reason or another the audience was subject to another form of cruelty. After the sorry excuse of an apology from one of the MCs, the skit, ‘24’ was back. And this time it felt even longer, especially on an empty stomach.
Followed by this form of torture, the audience was subject to an array of ‘technical difficulties’ and unnecessary modeling of put frankly, clothing obtained from a vinnies bin about nine years ago, not quite old enough to be vintage, and definitely not quite cool. Finally the finishing acts were axed because there was simply ‘no time’. Several measures could have been taken to avoid this. The committee could have simply organised the structure of the event well, the food could have been efficiently handed out, or people acting out the ‘24’ skit could have been shot. Nonetheless performers who had spent plenty of time and money on their acts were turned away ruthlessly but Committee members who simply don’t care. They had their moment of fame and that’s all they wanted when they decided to become CN Reps.
After a night of hell, hitting the bar at the after party seemed like the only solution, and a chance to mingle with some of your friends who you could recognize in normal attire as opposed to sacks of glitter and sequins. When arriving at the ranch, there was another sorry ass excuse for a line to enter. The security did not help by taking their time in allowing people into their bar, which really was an elaborately dressed up local pub. People were not informed that there would be a 1am curfew and were simply turned away. Those with tickets were entitled to a refund, and after half an hour of waiting, were giving back their money by rude, unfriendly Cultural night reps who did not even have the guts to apologise.
In conclusion, the Cultural night 2006 was definitely, a Cultural night like no other. Poor organization and structure, poor hosts, poor (or sometimes lack) of food, rude unfriendly staff, a non-existent after party and cultural night committee members who simply did not give a fuck contributed to possible the worst night of my year.
If you think it sucked just as much as i did, forward it on to every curry out their.
