WELL, you kinda had to be there
, but:
Xerxes was on the march to Greece (you know, the whole expansion of the empire thing) and was naturally dropping in on all the rich bastards along the way to gather funds and so forth. So he gets to Lydia, home of the stupidly wealthy Pythius the Lydian and his five sons. PtL gives generously to the cause and entertains X and his band of merry men (these Persians were big on their booze and women - Xerxes II ruled for all of 45 days, spending most of them drunk). Reportedly, all had such a grand time of it all that X, in his merriment, grants PtL one wish, anything he desires (drunk with power, X thouht he was a genie). PtL, an old man in a time of great warfare with five agile young things serving in the army fears all his sons will be killed and requests of X an exemption for his eldest and most loved son. Well, X does his block and, in a typical display of irrationality and power-broking, basically says, fuck you for thinking you can ask for that when
I am risking
my life and those of
my friends and family. You can have your life, your four younger sons and your property, but for your impudence, for not fearing my wrath, your eldest son "to whom thou clingest above the rest", I will chop in half, lie on either side of the road outside your home and march my army between his bloody carcass. So there!
And he did. Well, he got some lackey to carry out the chopping duties (have you
seen the gold those Persian kings wore when going into battle? Those guys were not dressed for people chopping), but that's the general gist of it. Like I said, you kinda had to be there...
