Anti-Jokes (1 Viewer)

[Epistemophobia]

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is destroying his family.

 

[CardCheat]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Are you alright ma'am? Is there anything I can help you with?

your jokes are all pretty shit.

none of which are relevant in this thread.

nb, the answer to this question is:
"nothing, she's already been told twice"

 

[Epistemophobia]

your jokes are all pretty shit.

none of which are relevant in this thread.

nb, the answer to this question is:
"nothing, she's already been told twice"

Did you miss the 'anti' part? Though i agree is most part

 

[moll.]

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half a worm.

What's worse than finding a half-worm in your apple?
A quarter of a worm.

What's worse than finding a quarter of a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.

 

[crossover]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Are you alright ma'am? Is there anything I can help you with?

LOLL!!.. ah i said the actual joke to my teacher once.. she has hated me ever since

 

[bitchprick]

what's red and invisible?


no tomatoes

 

[Zrap]

How did the car crash into the pole?
The driver was drunk

Why did the boy think the world was gonna end?
He was stoned.

What time does the Prime Minister go to bed?
Whenever he is tired.

 

[crossover]

Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus are incapable of emotions such as feeling fear.

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What was the pirate movie rated?

PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Three men walk into a bar. They're all alcoholics, and they beat their wives

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How do you kill a fox?

Beat it with a stick until its heart stops beating from all the trauma. Death will soon follow.

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Why did the child cross the road?

An arsonist set his house ablaze, causing his paraplegic family to die a slow painful fiery death. Their death screams consequently drove the child to madness. A truck hit him, showering the pavement with entrails.

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Why did the woman lose the beauty contest?

Because she was ugly.

 

[lionking1191]

Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus are incapable of emotions such as feeling fear.

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What was the pirate movie rated?

PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

-----------------------------------------

Three men walk into a bar. They're all alcoholics, and they beat their wives

-----------------------------------------

How do you kill a fox?

Beat it with a stick until its heart stops beating from all the trauma. Death will soon follow.

-----------------------------------------

Why did the child cross the road?

An arsonist set his house ablaze, causing his paraplegic family to die a slow painful fiery death. Their death screams consequently drove the child to madness. A truck hit him, showering the pavement with entrails.

-----------------------------------------
Why did the woman lose the beauty contest?

Because she was ugly.

oh god.

 

[Skinneth]

Whats yellow and dangerous?

Shark-infested custard.


What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea?

It gets wet.


Why did the boy fall off his bike?

His mum threw a fridge at him.

 

[scora]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Are you alright ma'am? Is there anything I can help you with?

sorry i dont get it

 

[midifile]

How do you stop a 3 year old from crying?

Take your penis out of its mouth

 

[Skinneth]

Thats so awful its funny.

 

[carrots please!]

two sausages are frying in a pan. one says "maaaan it's hot in here."

the other replies: "OMG! a talking sausage!"

 

[xtremedude]

why did the chicken cross the road?

how the fuck would i know im not a fricken chicken whisperer!

lame

 

[Zrap]

Your mumma so fat she needs to go on a diet or she'll have serious health
consequences in the future.

 

[xtremedude]

Your mumma so fat she needs to go on a diet or she'll have serious health
consequences in the future.

haha im gonna use that one

 

[moll.]

Your mumma so fat she needs to go on a diet or she'll have serious health
consequences in the future.

Yo mumma's so fat that she's obese.

 

[lawrence.h]

what do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea

what do you call a deer wth no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs and no penis?
Frank

 

[sam04u]

What did the Banana say to the Vibrator?

Nothing, Bananas are incapable of speech, or even thought for that matter.