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Are relationships doomed to begin with ? (1 Viewer)

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jhakka

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I don't think all relationships are doomed.

I knew my girlfriend for a long time before we started going out, and I can honestly say I can see a long term, if not permanent, relationship with her.
 

mervvyn

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AsyLum said:
im not sure, but hasnt the whole dating thing just recently arisen ? i dont remember too clearly that it was prevalent within societies before the turn of the 20th century.
I think what you're getting at is that marrying for love is a relatively recent idea, hence you need to get to know someone (dating). Also, you can't just ask her dad anymore, you have to impress her...
I think the fact that women are more independent now than in 1900 or even 1950 means that again, men have to woo, and people have greater expectations of relationships (in terms of what they want in a partner)
 

Winston

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Doesn't it really depend on both partners? i mean what if both of them were extremely serious and deadset commited.
 

veanz

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you can never have too much experience :p

hehe as if i know anyway
 

super katie

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see I just want to find the guy im meant to spend the rest of my life with and freakin get on with it. I hate all the instability of teenage relationships and assholes who only want a fling. I honestly dont see the point of starting a relationship with someone if you cant see it lasting, or if you dont even fucking want it to last. Gah.
 

truly-in-bliss

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super katie said:
see I just want to find the guy im meant to spend the rest of my life with and freakin get on with it. I hate all the instability of teenage relationships and assholes who only want a fling. I honestly dont see the point of starting a relationship with someone if you cant see it lasting, or if you dont even fucking want it to last. Gah.
yeha i am exactly like that. :p
 

super katie

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truly-in-bliss said:
yeha i am exactly like that. :p
haha hooray i thought i was alone in wanting something stable when im still young. I always seem to get screwed over by guys who pretend they want something lasting, but then they decide they dont and they want someone else who just wants a bit of fun. What the fuck is the point of that? Indecisiveness sucks. Pick a person and stick with them.
 

AsyLum

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super katie said:
see I just want to find the guy im meant to spend the rest of my life with and freakin get on with it. I hate all the instability of teenage relationships and assholes who only want a fling. I honestly dont see the point of starting a relationship with someone if you cant see it lasting, or if you dont even fucking want it to last. Gah.
My point exactly, why get into a relationship just for a fling, dont get into one at all, saves everyone the heartache, the energy and the trouble. Just be fuck buddies if needs be, but relationships, call me old fashioned, are suppose to be things which last.
 

AsyLum

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AsyLum said:
That got me thinking, are the majority of relationships doomed to begin with at our age because we just dont see a long term future for it? And if we do, then why bother in the first place, people are just going to get hurt, and things will change, and the energy that could have been used.

Your thoughts?

I think a lot of people need to learn how to read -_-"
 

AsyLum

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I have never denied it isnt an experience, and one which should be experienced, and that the ideal 1 person, 1 partner is quite a romanticist ideal and in reality is not really viable in reality, but you seem to have missed my point here. I am stating that there is a mentality within relationships nowdays with this thinking OF things not lasting, of things ending, and as such isnt there then such a mentality which is not only defeatist but reduces the relationship to nothing more than an "experience." Again should we rename all relationships to convenient partners with which we can experience things? I find it somewhat sickening to hear dating, going-out, and all the assorted 'relationships' within their context today, as they are hollow words, and should rather be switched to 'fuck buddy for the next few months' or 'im using you to get to your best friend'

The mentality is really what im after here, rather than the act itself, i will give that in this contemporary world there really is a fantasy to be able to say you found your first and only.

Your third point is somewhat confusing, they are doing it for the experience, and that they shouldnt get deeply involved, but i ask, isnt that the purpose of being in a relationship with someone else? How are we to learn from inadequate lessons?

And the censorship, well i have no idea what we are talking about there, are you suggesting that teenagers nowdays would find such a practice of experiencing a relationship in which we are exposed to its true form bad? If so, then the majority of relationships, as you say, are merely experiences of immature, shallow conveniences.
 

AsyLum

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I tend to disagree with your last point, and is in fact almost running rampant in mentality amongst the younger generations, where a relationship is a way to get sex.

Perhaps its just me, but i fear of a social and moral decline like we have never seen :|
 

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The way that the new generation perceives as relationship is nothing more than a person to hang around with to most. To be honest, true love or people who are willing to give everything they've got into a relationship to develop and strengthen it are rare. Dating has become nothing more than a show...couples get together for like a week when they know nothing about each other, while at the same time they are not willing to spend the effort to seek out what is truely there to be offered in the relationship, instead, when things gets tough, they run.
There is a reason as to why divorce rates are on the rise, it is clearly evident that people are treating their "soulmate" less seriously and thinking more for themselves, to them a "soulmate" is just another assessory.
I'm not saying all people are like that, there are still plenty of people who are willing to give everything they've got into a relationship just to make the other party happy, that is what defines true love...something that the new generation has been born with but not yet discovered...
 

SipSip

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Definitely not everyone sees relationships as a show...some even take it so seriously that it becomes silli/scary....but the point of consumerism and gf for show is quite correct, which is also the reason why pretty girls are always the "target" of shallow guys since that it kinda becomes an acheivement...it's a sad thing, since that it'll mean girls have to deal with the insecurities of whether the guy likes her for her looks or realli for her...and sad in the fact that guys actually treat women this way..
 

Fairytale

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SipSip said:
Definitely not everyone sees relationships as a show...some even take it so seriously that it becomes silli/scary....but the point of consumerism and gf for show is quite correct, which is also the reason why pretty girls are always the "target" of shallow guys since that it kinda becomes an acheivement...it's a sad thing, since that it'll mean girls have to deal with the insecurities of whether the guy likes her for her looks or realli for her...and sad in the fact that guys actually treat women this way..
So I guess one advantage that an unattractive girl will have in a relationship is that she will know that the guy likes her for her.
 

SipSip

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Fairytale said:
So I guess one advantage that an unattractive girl will have in a relationship is that she will know that the guy likes her for her.
You're right to a point...with consumerism booming like this....if an unattractive girl is rich, i guess some shallow guy will probably go for her....
But generally that is an advantage, because to be honest, all girls have something that could be appreciated and loved, jsut have to be discovered...main point of advice, be yourself...
 

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