Are they real friends? (1 Viewer)

[hiphophooray123]

I've always debated this in my head.

Are your good friends really good friends and is it really a mutual good friendship if:


- they bitch behind your back.. i guess not bitch as in 'i hate that fag' but more like 'lol don't chuck a chris (referring to something they see in a really negative light)' and 'lol chris hahahahah chris lol' or make comparison between you and someone they don't like at all

- use you're most personal sadnesses as an inside joke. Laugh at your misfortunes and overall act like they have no compassion at all (to each other) but to your face act compassionate.

- let people trash talk you, and sometimes agree.

see you as 'abnormal'.....can you still really like someone and honestly think they are abnormal, and tell other people they are as well?


-------------------------------

In some ways I can see how they are your friends and just joke around, but in other ways I feel that a friend wouldn't do that. It's confusing.


I've always tried to never bitch seriously about my friends, and everytime someone would trash talk them behind their backs i wouldn't allow it. Or if someone was making fun of them for something i would either tell them to shut the fuck up or explain my friends actions. Are my morals regarding friendship twisted, or are they the ones that are twisted?

 

[Starcraftmazter]

I don't think it has anything to do with growing up, I remember me and my buddies in HS never talked about any one of us behind each others back. Why would you even want to? Are they so bored with their own lives, they must badmouth others behind their backs?

Sounds like something junior girls do.

 

[boris]

nah they sound like shit cunts

 

[hiphophooray123]

Like possible scenario (i don't feel right using a family member as an example so ill pretend i have a dog and am really close to it)

*my pet dog dies*

Now I developed intense seperation anxiety as a child due to the loss of a parent and car accident i was in, according to a psych anyway, I also have bought that anxiety with me into adulthood. so basically i have extreme abondonement issues.


so with that being said, and the dog dying o) I get REALLLY cut and start doing stupid things.



would it be shit of close friends to be like behind my back:


'lol chris wont let that dog go fucking abnormal cunt hahahahahah lolllll'

or would that be 'just a joke'?

 

[boris]

Like possible scenario (i don't feel right using a family member as an example so ill pretend i have a dog and am really close to it)

*my pet dog dies*

Now I developed intense seperation anxiety as a child due to the loss of a parent and car accident i was in, according to a psych anyway, I also have bought that anxiety with me into adulthood. so basically i have extreme abondonement issues.


so with that being said, and the dog dying o) I get REALLLY cut and start doing stupid things.



would it be shit of close friends to be like behind my back:


'lol chris wont let that dog go fucking abnormal cunt hahahahahah lolllll'

or would that be 'just a joke'?

nah thats shit

cunts

it's ok to lol at ones expense, but thats pretty harsh

 

[lil lelu]

nah i wouldnt call them friends. if they do that then they obviouslt dont respect you.

 

[scarybunny]

Real friends know where the boundaries are, I think.

Maybe these people don't know you well enough to realise how you'd take it?

 

[hiphophooray123]

nah, they know me very well. can't speak on how much they understand about me, but they do know me very well.

 

[jumb]

If you stopped talking to them, in 10 years time, would you look back on them and think "they were real friends"?

 

[boris]

If you stopped talking to them, in 10 years time, would you look back on them and think "they were real friends"?

Exactly

Do they bring anything good to your life? Or is the good offsided by the dumb shit they say like that?

 

[Atonofrash]

have you confronted them?

 

[hiphophooray123]

yeah i do all the time, they justify it as 'a joke' or 'but thats what you are (coz im right about everything) [so we'll bitch all we want]'

vote in poll rubes

 

[hiphophooray123]

Exactly

Do they bring anything good to your life? Or is the good offsided by the dumb shit they say like that?

the good is outweighed by the bad, but i mean, the back-talk and mocking really gets hurtful.

 

[Atonofrash]

how do you know they say that about you?

 

[hiphophooray123]

its either inside jokes which i catch on to (coz im super smart yo), other ppl telling me how they laugh about me all the time, gut feeling (like when im talking about something and they look at each other and try holding back laughter)

 

[scarybunny]

nah, they know me very well. can't speak on how much they understand about me, but they do know me very well.

Yeah knowing is different to understanding.

I don't know. Some people just never understand you, no matter how long you've known them.

Not sure if I could call these people friends.

 

[historykidd]

depression is a myth.

 

[lil lelu]

well think of it this way. in high school in our group there was me and 2 friends who were really close, than the 4th hung with us but we didnt like her so u always payed her out and made jokes about her and shit. i know it was mean now, but we just didnt like her. this could be the same situation maybe?

 

[hiphophooray123]

?

 

[Starcraftmazter]

That's absolutely horrible, your friends should support you through such difficulties.