LinziJane
New Member
This is my story for creative writing.. I'm worried it's a little bit cliche'. Please, any opinions or criticisms would be fantastic. Pehpas too long? Won't remember all in the exam though, just the main parts.
Thanks.
Taylor stared apathetically at the photo frame resting on the pillow next to her. She gazed into the smiling faces of the five figures in the picture. They all had sandy blonde hair, vivid blue eyes and a tan colour washed over their perfect complexions. All except one. One person in that photo frame did not look quite like the others. Jet black hair contrasted vividly with the earthy tones surrounding and pale, slightly freckled skin appeared almost luminous. Yes, one person was definitely different.
Taylor dragged herself out of bed and dressed quietly, careful not to wake her sleeping sister. She paused when she picked up the hairbrush she shared and her eyes lingered on the few strands of blonde hair caught in the forest of wires. Taylor sighed and dragged the brush through her ebony hair, her eyes staring fixedly at her reflection in the mirror.
There was no reason to worry, she was sure of it. Almost. She knew of other families at school that didn’t look the same. Yet, there always seemed to be one seemingly insignificant feature that held an uncanny likeness. Taylor had nothing. All her features were her own.
It was only recently that she had begun to question whether she actually belonged with these people. She didn’t see an alternative. She loved her family. She knew her family had mutual feelings for her too. Yet, still the girl couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow, she was different. Somehow, she didn’t belong.
Days passed Taylor by. She was happy. Yet there was still a persistent doubt in the back of her mind. Like an annoying fly on a hot summer’s day, the doubt kept returning and demanding her attention.
One evening Taylor’s mother asked to speak to her. She told her daughter that she had discussed with her father and they had come to a decision. They had decided that she needed to know. Taylor was adopted. Suddenly, everything made sense and relief spread throughout her body. She smiled at her mother’s worried expression and told her she was fine. She was fine. She was glad. She returned to her room and reflected on every moment she had felt out of place. Family photos, at school when people did not believe she was related to her sister. She sat there for a very long time. She had never been happier.
For all this time Taylor had been the Ugly Duckling. She had been the odd piece of the puzzle that just didn’t seem to fit. She hoped that soon she would fly away with a family of swans, or be put in the puzzle box in which she belonged. Taylor decided to speak to her mother about her biological parents. She would begin her search to find where she truly belonged. Her mother was reluctant, but adhered and gave Taylor the contact details of her family that she had kept just in case.
Taylor sat down at her desk and began writing a letter. She eagerly sealed it in an envelope and walked briskly to the post box. From then, she began to wait. And wait.
Taylor imagined the family that was waiting for her. They all had flowing black hair and fair skin. Her real father’s hair would have a slight wave, but her real mother’s hair would be completely straight. Her real sister would be brown eyed and athletically built, just like Taylor. The resemblance would be uncanny. The family would be so welcoming and they would love her just as much as her family does now. No, this new, real family would love her more. Because, she belonged with them.
Days passed, one week became two and still Taylor had heard nothing of her real family. She would find them. She looked at the contact details her mother had given her. There was a phone number.
Adrenaline pumped through her veins as she breathed audibly into the receiver, listening intently to the dial tone. A voice answered. A tired, irritated, female voice. Taylor stuttered and stammered, but finally managed to choke her name and who she was. Yes, the woman knew who she was. Yes, this woman had gotten her letter. Yes, Taylor could come visit if she wanted to. Why had she not written back? Couldn’t find a pen, nor any paper. Taylor considered a moment before asking the last question. Why did she put Taylor up for adoption?
She didn’t want Taylor. Nor does she want her now, so don’t go getting ideas. The hard irritated tone informed her she had things to do. Come over if she wanted, but don’t expect anyone to be home. Oh, and could she tell her mother, or whoever it was who was sending those update photos of her to stop? They clog up the mail. One uttered word of farewell closed the conversation and the tone rang in Taylor’s ear as the woman hung up.
Taylor froze and kept the receiver to her ear. She couldn’t hang up, she couldn’t move at all. Her feet stayed glued to the ground by an emotional force that was brewing deep within her. Where did she belong? She suddenly felt cold and her bottom lip began to tremble. Her breath came in shudders. She was the lost girl. No one’s child. Suddenly, the world became bigger than it had ever been and she shrank rapidly to a tiny insignificance. She was all alone. She felt so young. Her sixteen years of life were worthless, she couldn’t continue by herself, floating aimlessly through an abyss posing as her life
A single tear rolled down the girls face. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and turned to face her mother. Her real mother. A beautiful loving woman who had given Taylor everything and knew her more than anyone else. Exepct her sister. Taylor felt arms creep around her waist in a gentle embrace. She knew instantly it was her sister, her best friend. It was then that her father came to take Taylor’s hand and give her a comforting smile. Without a mirror nearby, Taylor felt like she belonged.
Taylor walked to her room and sat on her bed. She reminisced on her childhood and thought, not about the times she felt self-conscious and out of place, but about the times she felt loved and wanted. Sitting with the family at Christmas time and the presents everyone exchanged, chatting happily. Days at the beach with her sister in the sun. Memories she cherished.
Taylor’s eyes began to wander around her bedroom, and her tears ceased. She looked at her dresser and her eyes lingered on her hairbrush. She could see the blonde hair from her bed, but she could also make out strands of black hair, tangled with the blonde. She knew it couldn’t be untangled and she knew her life would stay tangled with her sister’s too. She looked at her bedside table and her framed family photo stood, unable to be missed, in the centre.
Out the window she could see her old swing-set and childhood memories began to flood into her mind like a rushing river. She suddenly felt guilty and ashamed for forgetting the wonderful times she had had with her loving family. She was an equal to her sister in the eyes of her parents, they loved Taylor as if she was their own child.
She was their child.
Taylor’s awareness of her physical appearance began to wane. She delved deep inside herself and closed her eyes. One deep inhalation of air caused her entire being to relax and she realised she didn’t belong anywhere else. She knew she looked different to her family, but she didn’t care. Because inside, she was the same.
-Lemme know what you think,
Linz
Thanks.
Taylor stared apathetically at the photo frame resting on the pillow next to her. She gazed into the smiling faces of the five figures in the picture. They all had sandy blonde hair, vivid blue eyes and a tan colour washed over their perfect complexions. All except one. One person in that photo frame did not look quite like the others. Jet black hair contrasted vividly with the earthy tones surrounding and pale, slightly freckled skin appeared almost luminous. Yes, one person was definitely different.
Taylor dragged herself out of bed and dressed quietly, careful not to wake her sleeping sister. She paused when she picked up the hairbrush she shared and her eyes lingered on the few strands of blonde hair caught in the forest of wires. Taylor sighed and dragged the brush through her ebony hair, her eyes staring fixedly at her reflection in the mirror.
There was no reason to worry, she was sure of it. Almost. She knew of other families at school that didn’t look the same. Yet, there always seemed to be one seemingly insignificant feature that held an uncanny likeness. Taylor had nothing. All her features were her own.
It was only recently that she had begun to question whether she actually belonged with these people. She didn’t see an alternative. She loved her family. She knew her family had mutual feelings for her too. Yet, still the girl couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow, she was different. Somehow, she didn’t belong.
Days passed Taylor by. She was happy. Yet there was still a persistent doubt in the back of her mind. Like an annoying fly on a hot summer’s day, the doubt kept returning and demanding her attention.
One evening Taylor’s mother asked to speak to her. She told her daughter that she had discussed with her father and they had come to a decision. They had decided that she needed to know. Taylor was adopted. Suddenly, everything made sense and relief spread throughout her body. She smiled at her mother’s worried expression and told her she was fine. She was fine. She was glad. She returned to her room and reflected on every moment she had felt out of place. Family photos, at school when people did not believe she was related to her sister. She sat there for a very long time. She had never been happier.
For all this time Taylor had been the Ugly Duckling. She had been the odd piece of the puzzle that just didn’t seem to fit. She hoped that soon she would fly away with a family of swans, or be put in the puzzle box in which she belonged. Taylor decided to speak to her mother about her biological parents. She would begin her search to find where she truly belonged. Her mother was reluctant, but adhered and gave Taylor the contact details of her family that she had kept just in case.
Taylor sat down at her desk and began writing a letter. She eagerly sealed it in an envelope and walked briskly to the post box. From then, she began to wait. And wait.
Taylor imagined the family that was waiting for her. They all had flowing black hair and fair skin. Her real father’s hair would have a slight wave, but her real mother’s hair would be completely straight. Her real sister would be brown eyed and athletically built, just like Taylor. The resemblance would be uncanny. The family would be so welcoming and they would love her just as much as her family does now. No, this new, real family would love her more. Because, she belonged with them.
Days passed, one week became two and still Taylor had heard nothing of her real family. She would find them. She looked at the contact details her mother had given her. There was a phone number.
Adrenaline pumped through her veins as she breathed audibly into the receiver, listening intently to the dial tone. A voice answered. A tired, irritated, female voice. Taylor stuttered and stammered, but finally managed to choke her name and who she was. Yes, the woman knew who she was. Yes, this woman had gotten her letter. Yes, Taylor could come visit if she wanted to. Why had she not written back? Couldn’t find a pen, nor any paper. Taylor considered a moment before asking the last question. Why did she put Taylor up for adoption?
She didn’t want Taylor. Nor does she want her now, so don’t go getting ideas. The hard irritated tone informed her she had things to do. Come over if she wanted, but don’t expect anyone to be home. Oh, and could she tell her mother, or whoever it was who was sending those update photos of her to stop? They clog up the mail. One uttered word of farewell closed the conversation and the tone rang in Taylor’s ear as the woman hung up.
Taylor froze and kept the receiver to her ear. She couldn’t hang up, she couldn’t move at all. Her feet stayed glued to the ground by an emotional force that was brewing deep within her. Where did she belong? She suddenly felt cold and her bottom lip began to tremble. Her breath came in shudders. She was the lost girl. No one’s child. Suddenly, the world became bigger than it had ever been and she shrank rapidly to a tiny insignificance. She was all alone. She felt so young. Her sixteen years of life were worthless, she couldn’t continue by herself, floating aimlessly through an abyss posing as her life
A single tear rolled down the girls face. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and turned to face her mother. Her real mother. A beautiful loving woman who had given Taylor everything and knew her more than anyone else. Exepct her sister. Taylor felt arms creep around her waist in a gentle embrace. She knew instantly it was her sister, her best friend. It was then that her father came to take Taylor’s hand and give her a comforting smile. Without a mirror nearby, Taylor felt like she belonged.
Taylor walked to her room and sat on her bed. She reminisced on her childhood and thought, not about the times she felt self-conscious and out of place, but about the times she felt loved and wanted. Sitting with the family at Christmas time and the presents everyone exchanged, chatting happily. Days at the beach with her sister in the sun. Memories she cherished.
Taylor’s eyes began to wander around her bedroom, and her tears ceased. She looked at her dresser and her eyes lingered on her hairbrush. She could see the blonde hair from her bed, but she could also make out strands of black hair, tangled with the blonde. She knew it couldn’t be untangled and she knew her life would stay tangled with her sister’s too. She looked at her bedside table and her framed family photo stood, unable to be missed, in the centre.
Out the window she could see her old swing-set and childhood memories began to flood into her mind like a rushing river. She suddenly felt guilty and ashamed for forgetting the wonderful times she had had with her loving family. She was an equal to her sister in the eyes of her parents, they loved Taylor as if she was their own child.
She was their child.
Taylor’s awareness of her physical appearance began to wane. She delved deep inside herself and closed her eyes. One deep inhalation of air caused her entire being to relax and she realised she didn’t belong anywhere else. She knew she looked different to her family, but she didn’t care. Because inside, she was the same.
-Lemme know what you think,
Linz
