Hello Everyone 
BEFORE WE BEGIN…
This is not my real account. As my teachers stalk students on this site, and my girlfriend often comes here to get help with school work; I have created this pseudo-account which gives me the freedom to post comments and ask questions in total anonymity!
Why the username ‘heshiyun’? cause it’s the first thing that sprang to mind, I was replying to an email heshiyun sent me…she’s 16 and I have no doubt try and register here one day…she’ll try ‘heshiyun’ only to find that the username has been taken…by me…lolorz lolorz loloz…I can be so mean…
Also…ALL COMMENT’S ARE WELCOME
Well, actually that’s a lie…if you want to talk about pokemon, or gameboy, or stazi (anything gay etc etc, HaHaHa I’m joking stas…pokemon is not gay), then you are posting in the wrong place!!
THE STORY SO FAR…
We’re both excellent, fun, smart and brilliant individuals, well on our way to success, who met each other by chance...became the very best of friends…fell madly/deeply/truly in love…and decided to commit to a bf/gf relationship.
We have been going out for quite some time. Things are going great, there’s nothing wrong with our relationship at all. She likes my friends, my friends like her…ditto for her friends and I…(our parents are another issue)…we’re a perfect couple, we like the same things…we get along great etc
But I’m going to break up with her
She will not see this coming.
This will (very very very unfortunately) hurt her. very much. and very deeply.
I am a complete arsehole (I know).
I am a guy afterall =(
(Oh btw…if any of this sounds familiar to you…you’re reading this and thinking; ‘hm, I know someone in that very same situation…he was telling me about it the other day…wait, it’s the SAME situation…this sounds awfully familiar...LOL IT’S ------! HaHaHa…he’s posting this on BOS? I’m going to send ----- the link…she needs to know…’.
Firstly, if you already know who I am, just txt me…don’t post my name asking if it’s me =_=”.
Secondly…I am posting this here because… so far - all the advice I’ve gotten on the matter has been hopeless…like really…really…bad. So I’m not taking anymore advice from people I know….hopefully I can get the meaningful/thoughtful advice of those who have been in my situation…don’t know me…have something to contribute to the discussion etc.
Finally, (warning, women please skip the preceding paragraph and proceed to the paragraph marked “(X.)”…as the following lines contain EXPLICIT language…),
If you ruin this for me by putting my name up…I WILL FUCKING NEVER FORGIVE YOU.
(X.) girls, welcome back! don’t worry…you didn’t miss anything important, I was just telling the guys how great footy is, how awesome cars are, how hot Jessica Alba is etc …basic, BORING, stupid guy talk…Girls! I’m posting what I have to say here because I need YOUR opinion. I’ve talked to a lot of my guy friends about this…but, well, I really NEED to hear a girls perspective on things…guys; feel free to read on, but I just can’t say hat I expect a whole lot from you…if you feel like there’s no reason to read on for you guys…you think relationship stuff is boring etc etc etc….I joke about my penis size later on…so read on…READ ON… (happy)
THE PLOT THICKENS…
She won’t see it coming. That’s what really kills me the most…
The fact that, well, in most relationships…there are signs that the end is nigh. Holes in the relationships start to emerge. Fights (over the small things) become more common. You try to avoid her/him, or they try to avoid you etc. You stop/avoid having (even though we have not had) sex. And, well –although sad, in those situations, a break up was on the horizon, the end…often brings with it…a great deal of relief for both parties involved.
BUT, that relief may stem from the fact that the couple were not right for each other, their relationship was not set on a good foundation of friendship, trust and love etc…that even at the beginning of the relationship, one of them would have known that they wouldn’t have been together forever (which could be for a number of reasons…i.e. getting into a relationship on the rebound, because your friends thought you two would be the perfect couple, lust, compassion etc)…
My relationship with her is different though. We have a good foundation based on love and friendship, the kinda stuff that pushes a couple to get married, have children etc.
We talk to each other a lot. She knows when something’s on my mind, she’s really good at that, but I have kept I feel to myself…passing it off as stress due to HSC, sport etc. I am honest with her for 99% of anything and everything, I do not lie to her, but this…my concerns…well, they’re just things that I feel I can’t talk to her about. She’s not going to snap at me or anything…but I just – for various reasons- cannot talk to her about it (guys…this has nothing to do with my penis size =_=”. I gave this to a friend to proof read and he immediately thought ‘performance’ X_X. my friends are great…but they are so very thick).
There is no great reason why we should break up, but (as selfish and stupid as it may sound), I have made the decision to end our relationship as bf/gf. But that is not to say that I would like to end our relationship. I hope we remain good friends, after all, we have been through so much together, no one knows more about me than her (and vice versa).
So now you know my story, our story, the story so far.
It’s a question of timing now.
Timing, how, when and where.
Timing:
I have my formal. She has hers. Both are close together; a week apart. The formals are a couple of months away. She has already bought the tickets. So have I. She bought her dress recently. Before then we have HSC to worry about, in those busy exam weeks; I don’t expect to see her very often (we’ll be very busy studying).
How:
How do you break up with someone you still love? Is the easiest way to lie, and say I don’t love her? As what would be worse…thinking that I don’t love you and trying to move on…or knowing that I still love you and hoping I will come back for you…do you want me to talk to you in the days following the break up…or do you need time to think it out? All the friends I’ve made through you…how will they treat me knowing what I did…I can imagine that they’ll want to show their allegiance to her, by limiting the time they have for me…
When:
I just have nooooooooo idea when I should do it. Should I do it now, so she has a long time to reorganise for the formal…but she has exams coming up…she’ll be so broken and distraught…I really think it will have a negative effect on her studying…
I could do it after exams and just before the formal. But it would be so awkward at the formal. She might get angry…or be in tears…or…?
I could break up with her after the formal. But that would mean that I would be pretty distant from her all night. She would pick up on it…she wouldn’t have any fun. I wouldn’t either.
Where:
I want to do it close to her house…so I can take her home afterwards…or if she doesn’t want me to, at least she’ll be home fast, no one will see her crying…she can get home and on the phone to friends straight away etc. But we often go out near her place…all the private spots we could talk are filled with happy memories…I don’t want to spoil that.
SO THERE YOU GO…
My year, love life, thoughts, situation and experiences…
Hopefully I’ve equipped you with enough information to do whatever…hopefully I’ve told you enough to bring you to this conclusion: “heshiyun is a complete and utter aresehole, this is why I hate men!!”
Thank you soooo much for reading all that! And even if you skim read, thanks again and thank you so much!
If you’re at this line and wondering…what the hell was that about…what does he want from me…? What is he asking???
Well a few things actually…
1. When is the best time to break up with someone…after a fun day full of activities, doing stuff you love, having fun etc. Or totally out of the blue, “we need to talk…can you meet me at …”
2. would you be pissed, understanding or upset if this was our relationship atm, and I‘d just broke up with you?
3. Should I hint at it…just begin to fight over things I don’t even care about…so that she might at least see the end coming…or in the hope that when the break up does come…it’s a little easier to take…I don’t know, fake arguments, ignore her etc (sad)
4. Will her friends start to ignore me…I’m not talking about the friends we’ve made together, that I talk to often etc…I mean the friends I’ve made, that happen to be her close friends :S
5. Should I let her know that I still love her (even though I’m breaking up with her…) ? Or is that the complete opposite from what she want’s to hear at breakup…
6. From personal exp, can two people who were best friends, but pretty ordinary lovers, return to best friendship?
Thnx!
Heshiyun
P.S.
Please don’t reply with something along the lines of “just stick together…come on come on, just stick together…” Firstly, if you know what songs that’s from, I HATE YOU, YOU HAVE THE WORST TASTE IN MUSIC. Secondly…I’ve already made up my mind…we need to break up…we may be together again later down the track, but atm I just need to be single…
If you have no advice to give, feel free to call me a dickhead…explain that I’m the reason girls feel like they can’t trust guys…if you were my girlfriends big/bad/wolf cousin, you’d kick my ass for doing this to her…etc etc etc
All comments welcome.
BEFORE WE BEGIN…
This is not my real account. As my teachers stalk students on this site, and my girlfriend often comes here to get help with school work; I have created this pseudo-account which gives me the freedom to post comments and ask questions in total anonymity!
Why the username ‘heshiyun’? cause it’s the first thing that sprang to mind, I was replying to an email heshiyun sent me…she’s 16 and I have no doubt try and register here one day…she’ll try ‘heshiyun’ only to find that the username has been taken…by me…lolorz lolorz loloz…I can be so mean…
Also…ALL COMMENT’S ARE WELCOME
Well, actually that’s a lie…if you want to talk about pokemon, or gameboy, or stazi (anything gay etc etc, HaHaHa I’m joking stas…pokemon is not gay), then you are posting in the wrong place!!
THE STORY SO FAR…
We’re both excellent, fun, smart and brilliant individuals, well on our way to success, who met each other by chance...became the very best of friends…fell madly/deeply/truly in love…and decided to commit to a bf/gf relationship.
We have been going out for quite some time. Things are going great, there’s nothing wrong with our relationship at all. She likes my friends, my friends like her…ditto for her friends and I…(our parents are another issue)…we’re a perfect couple, we like the same things…we get along great etc
But I’m going to break up with her
She will not see this coming.
This will (very very very unfortunately) hurt her. very much. and very deeply.
I am a complete arsehole (I know).
I am a guy afterall =(
(Oh btw…if any of this sounds familiar to you…you’re reading this and thinking; ‘hm, I know someone in that very same situation…he was telling me about it the other day…wait, it’s the SAME situation…this sounds awfully familiar...LOL IT’S ------! HaHaHa…he’s posting this on BOS? I’m going to send ----- the link…she needs to know…’.
Firstly, if you already know who I am, just txt me…don’t post my name asking if it’s me =_=”.
Secondly…I am posting this here because… so far - all the advice I’ve gotten on the matter has been hopeless…like really…really…bad. So I’m not taking anymore advice from people I know….hopefully I can get the meaningful/thoughtful advice of those who have been in my situation…don’t know me…have something to contribute to the discussion etc.
Finally, (warning, women please skip the preceding paragraph and proceed to the paragraph marked “(X.)”…as the following lines contain EXPLICIT language…),
If you ruin this for me by putting my name up…I WILL FUCKING NEVER FORGIVE YOU.
(X.) girls, welcome back! don’t worry…you didn’t miss anything important, I was just telling the guys how great footy is, how awesome cars are, how hot Jessica Alba is etc …basic, BORING, stupid guy talk…Girls! I’m posting what I have to say here because I need YOUR opinion. I’ve talked to a lot of my guy friends about this…but, well, I really NEED to hear a girls perspective on things…guys; feel free to read on, but I just can’t say hat I expect a whole lot from you…if you feel like there’s no reason to read on for you guys…you think relationship stuff is boring etc etc etc….I joke about my penis size later on…so read on…READ ON… (happy)
THE PLOT THICKENS…
She won’t see it coming. That’s what really kills me the most…
The fact that, well, in most relationships…there are signs that the end is nigh. Holes in the relationships start to emerge. Fights (over the small things) become more common. You try to avoid her/him, or they try to avoid you etc. You stop/avoid having (even though we have not had) sex. And, well –although sad, in those situations, a break up was on the horizon, the end…often brings with it…a great deal of relief for both parties involved.
BUT, that relief may stem from the fact that the couple were not right for each other, their relationship was not set on a good foundation of friendship, trust and love etc…that even at the beginning of the relationship, one of them would have known that they wouldn’t have been together forever (which could be for a number of reasons…i.e. getting into a relationship on the rebound, because your friends thought you two would be the perfect couple, lust, compassion etc)…
My relationship with her is different though. We have a good foundation based on love and friendship, the kinda stuff that pushes a couple to get married, have children etc.
We talk to each other a lot. She knows when something’s on my mind, she’s really good at that, but I have kept I feel to myself…passing it off as stress due to HSC, sport etc. I am honest with her for 99% of anything and everything, I do not lie to her, but this…my concerns…well, they’re just things that I feel I can’t talk to her about. She’s not going to snap at me or anything…but I just – for various reasons- cannot talk to her about it (guys…this has nothing to do with my penis size =_=”. I gave this to a friend to proof read and he immediately thought ‘performance’ X_X. my friends are great…but they are so very thick).
There is no great reason why we should break up, but (as selfish and stupid as it may sound), I have made the decision to end our relationship as bf/gf. But that is not to say that I would like to end our relationship. I hope we remain good friends, after all, we have been through so much together, no one knows more about me than her (and vice versa).
So now you know my story, our story, the story so far.
It’s a question of timing now.
Timing, how, when and where.
Timing:
I have my formal. She has hers. Both are close together; a week apart. The formals are a couple of months away. She has already bought the tickets. So have I. She bought her dress recently. Before then we have HSC to worry about, in those busy exam weeks; I don’t expect to see her very often (we’ll be very busy studying).
How:
How do you break up with someone you still love? Is the easiest way to lie, and say I don’t love her? As what would be worse…thinking that I don’t love you and trying to move on…or knowing that I still love you and hoping I will come back for you…do you want me to talk to you in the days following the break up…or do you need time to think it out? All the friends I’ve made through you…how will they treat me knowing what I did…I can imagine that they’ll want to show their allegiance to her, by limiting the time they have for me…
When:
I just have nooooooooo idea when I should do it. Should I do it now, so she has a long time to reorganise for the formal…but she has exams coming up…she’ll be so broken and distraught…I really think it will have a negative effect on her studying…
I could do it after exams and just before the formal. But it would be so awkward at the formal. She might get angry…or be in tears…or…?
I could break up with her after the formal. But that would mean that I would be pretty distant from her all night. She would pick up on it…she wouldn’t have any fun. I wouldn’t either.
Where:
I want to do it close to her house…so I can take her home afterwards…or if she doesn’t want me to, at least she’ll be home fast, no one will see her crying…she can get home and on the phone to friends straight away etc. But we often go out near her place…all the private spots we could talk are filled with happy memories…I don’t want to spoil that.
SO THERE YOU GO…
My year, love life, thoughts, situation and experiences…
Hopefully I’ve equipped you with enough information to do whatever…hopefully I’ve told you enough to bring you to this conclusion: “heshiyun is a complete and utter aresehole, this is why I hate men!!”
Thank you soooo much for reading all that! And even if you skim read, thanks again and thank you so much!
If you’re at this line and wondering…what the hell was that about…what does he want from me…? What is he asking???
Well a few things actually…
1. When is the best time to break up with someone…after a fun day full of activities, doing stuff you love, having fun etc. Or totally out of the blue, “we need to talk…can you meet me at …”
2. would you be pissed, understanding or upset if this was our relationship atm, and I‘d just broke up with you?
3. Should I hint at it…just begin to fight over things I don’t even care about…so that she might at least see the end coming…or in the hope that when the break up does come…it’s a little easier to take…I don’t know, fake arguments, ignore her etc (sad)
4. Will her friends start to ignore me…I’m not talking about the friends we’ve made together, that I talk to often etc…I mean the friends I’ve made, that happen to be her close friends :S
5. Should I let her know that I still love her (even though I’m breaking up with her…) ? Or is that the complete opposite from what she want’s to hear at breakup…
6. From personal exp, can two people who were best friends, but pretty ordinary lovers, return to best friendship?
Thnx!
Heshiyun
P.S.
Please don’t reply with something along the lines of “just stick together…come on come on, just stick together…” Firstly, if you know what songs that’s from, I HATE YOU, YOU HAVE THE WORST TASTE IN MUSIC. Secondly…I’ve already made up my mind…we need to break up…we may be together again later down the track, but atm I just need to be single…
If you have no advice to give, feel free to call me a dickhead…explain that I’m the reason girls feel like they can’t trust guys…if you were my girlfriends big/bad/wolf cousin, you’d kick my ass for doing this to her…etc etc etc
All comments welcome.
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