Can anyone relate? (1 Viewer)

[paper cup]

Well if you're fat, as in REALLY (i.e your flabs just shows up, have a double chin, arms like my thighs) fat, then you'll need to lose weight fast (in a healthy way). As a man (or boy), I can tell you we don't like fat chicks (not implying your arms must be like a twig inorder to look good), but one's who are equal (no stick arms & legs with basketball sized boobs).
Here's an example of not being too skinny, yet still attractive (cute, whatever)-

http://www.boa-nation.com/album_pic.php?pic_id=340


Generally, as long as you have a balanced diet (e.g NOT 1 Big Mac + 1 Macca's salad for a meal, but 1 Big Mac a week and Subway (Ham Footlong with honey oak and all veges but chilli) for the rest! )

heh, I've said this before and I'll say it again, you're an idiot.
you're 16 and you've never been kissed, i don't think you have the right to make such disparaging comments. p.s. ppl who have been trying to reason with him, give up now, it's virtually impossible, see thread on race.
Ash, I'm sure you're a beautiful person and you'll find someone very soon. your weight shouldn't matter at all. I had a friend who wasn't very thin, she has a great bf that loves her.
I'm the opposite, way too thin, argh..charlotte gainsbourg-esque. it's not all that it's cracked up to be. don't despair...be confident...

 

[Angela86]

This may come off as sounding like a whinge or a vent, but I'm just wondering is anyone can relate to my situation.... and it's also a bit of self reflection really....

I've never been in a relationship before.... not that it bothers me because I have never really been looking for one.... but I'm at the stage of my life where I would be interested in having a relationship with the right person....

In the "Never Been Kissed" thread everyone was saying to be confident.... and I am confident in my personality, brain etc.... everything except my looks. I am larger sized and while I try and just be happy with who I am and rarely ever have "boo hoo I am so fat" moments, sometimes it seems like it will never be possible for me to find the right guy because my physical appearance possibly turns guys off.... it just seems like guys around my age are primarily focused on physical features....

I also feel totally clueless when it comes to relationships and I feel kinda old (19) to have absolutely no clue lol... also I fall under that category of "never been kissed" and I feel so clueless about it all....

Anyone else in a similar situation? Any advice? Am I relatively old to be clueless about relationships? And is physical attraction of a huge importance to most guys around my age?

I'm over weight, tryn to do something bout it for my self. I didn't get my 1st kiss till a few weeks ago, and I have a bf and i am still compleetely clueless about relationships, lol I think every one is

Some guys like big girls, I dunno. My boy doesn't think i'm fat, or so he says. Boys will never understand lol.

Also I think there is more to a person then their body, like looks wise. Eyes and smiles can be quiet a turn on for some guys.

 

[Malazn Pleasure]

i like really fat girls, their flab and rolls it such a turn on

the ones that r so enormous, their ass as its own post code

its just more cushion for the pushin'

 

[twisted_sista00]

i like really fat girls, their flab and rolls it such a turn on

the ones that r so enormous, their ass as its own post code

its just more cushion for the pushin'

oh thats so filthy

 

[withoutaface]

Must you two and Pookie turn every thread into a flame war? You know this is really getting rather pathetic and all it does is serve to piss everybody off.

 

[mack]

Well back on topic, physical appearance doesnt bother me really, as I look for a person with personality rather than get hung up what your body looks like.

As for Berry580, i believe he is a little boy who got caught by his mum with his hand down his pants looking at his Boa pics. Pathetic really.

 

[Angelic_Angel88]

Ever heard of desperate people?
If you cant find an attractive one, then you'll just have to settle with a less attractive one. LOL, then it think I would want to know about your standard of 'slim' and'attractive.' Ok, anyway, your friend and sister are both 'slim' and 'attractive' and are 19 & 21 respectively, but never had a relation, right? Well that doesn't really mean much. They might not a want a relation until a certain stage (for whatever reason, school, religion, whatever.), or they might be lesbians (you never know), or people simply don't like their personality, or even more simpler, she can't fnd a guy that she likes because of high standards. Whatever that reason is, they're simply the odd ones out in my personal view, considering young people's trend in the society. But I don't really find that to be a bad thing, as orphans would probably be dramatically reduced if we are all just don't f--- because you know you can can't afford a child ($3000 won't last long).

Gosh, that was an incredibly naive statement! There are some beautiful women out there, with great personalities, who are rarely, or never asked out, because guys simply believe they are too good for them. You shouldn't conclude that attractive girls, who have never had boyfriends, are lacking in something.

braindrainedAsh: I took a look at your website for pictures of you, I hope you don't mind. I wonder why no one else has done so. I think you're a bit of a big girl, but I also think you're beautiful. I don't know what it is exactly, but some of the big girls I know are some of the most beautiful girls I've ever met. They just seem to be oozing with confidence. One of my friends from uni is a bit of a big girl, but she seems to have this beautiful aura about her that most of my thin friends lack. I loved Angie from Australian Idol for the same reason. She has this confidence surrounding her; it made me regard her as one of the better singers of the competition. I was rather disappointed when she was the first to leave the competition.

 

[twisted_sista00]

Must you two and Pookie turn every thread into a flame war? You know this is really getting rather pathetic and all it does is serve to piss everybody off.

must you point this out (which isnt even true)? it pissing me off.

 

[puffkenny]

Well, here's my story. I'm currently 19 and like some of you, never ever had a girlfriend. That's because I was trapped in a all boys school for 6 bloody years and havn't spoke to one single chick for 5 years. As you know, the outcome's awful, it pretty much made me a social phobic. It's not until recently I've finally opened myself up in uni from the support of my girl-friends (not to be confused with girlfriends). I did have a crash on this chick recently, but in the end was completely fucked over 'cause of my inexperience. Till this day I still don't even know if she likes me or not. she's been leaving all these clues (as my mates say) but I can never pick it up. ugghhh girls and their psychology.

As for physical attraction, I personally prefer decent looking girls, not the "everybody loves me" glamour ones. Partly 'cause they are too good for me and too much of a target for other guys. What's most important is their personality. No point getting a state-of-the-art girlfriend if all they do is spend your money and giving you shits for every little thing you do. Yes, I do agree there's girls out there with a near-perfect hybrid of looks and personality, but you gotta admit, the chances are low. No body's perfect. heh. live with what you've got. You should be pretty confident if you are popular amongst your peers - I.E. good personality.

PS: I despise skinny girls, they are a total turn off. Put some meat on ya ffs! heh

 

[braindrainedAsh]

Thanks for all yours comments it made me feel a bit better.... I haven't been having a good few weeks, see my post in non school about my flatmates....

 

[trumpet geek]

awww dont worry dude!!! Physical appaerance has nothing to do with the fact that youve never been in a relationship. Relationships shouldnt be based on superificiality and if they are - they wont last long. Being single is good- ive had a few relationships and most of them turned out real bad like i just ended up getting hurt all the time and i never learnt from my mistakes... anyway i appreciate being single now its way fun you can hang around heaps of guys without feeling guilty. Now when i get attracted to guys its when i get to know them first and then i get physically attracted to them later, and not the other way around.

 

[MiuMiu]

Unfortunately Ash many guys our age are concerned primarily with looks. We all know i shouldn't be this way but it is. However there are a few wonderful exceptions out there and I guess this is what you have to be on the lookout for. They are the best guys because they have more depth to themselves as people and a relationship built on respect and a likeness for each other's personalities has much more of a chance of succeeding.

My advice to you would be to in the first instance STOP STRESSING! This will only make you feel like a loser and that certainly isn't the case. At 19 you are meant to be finding yourself....this is a process that will go on for a few years at least, and often having someone there will make it a whole lot more complicated. Relax, enjoy life, and that perfect man for you will one day just walk into your life. It will happen, theres no two ways about it, you've just got to give it time and feel good about who you are and your life in the meantime. Depressed chicks aren't a big turn on!

 

[Australian_Idol]

Unfortunately Ash many guys our age are concerned primarily with looks. We all know i shouldn't be this way but it is. However there are a few wonderful exceptions out there and I guess this is what you have to be on the lookout for. They are the best guys because they have more depth to themselves as people and a relationship built on respect and a likeness for each other's personalities has much more of a chance of succeeding.

My advice to you would be to in the first instance STOP STRESSING! This will only make you feel like a loser and that certainly isn't the case. At 19 you are meant to be finding yourself....this is a process that will go on for a few years at least, and often having someone there will make it a whole lot more complicated. Relax, enjoy life, and that perfect man for you will one day just walk into your life. It will happen, theres no two ways about it, you've just got to give it time and feel good about who you are and your life in the meantime. Depressed chicks aren't a big turn on!

Yes, most of the males in our age group are very shallow.

 

[Australian_Idol]

I also took a look at your website Ash. I think you are pretty. You're smart.......... I looked at the photo of you with your trophy for doing well in the HSC trials. You're creative............................you like dance and drama. You're pretty. I have noticed that some larger girls are quite pretty. Prettier than thinner girls. Casey from Australian Idol is quite pretty so is Sara Marie Fedele from Big Brother. Ash, you have all these special qualities so be confident and believe in yourself.

 

[pookie1234]

Must you two and Pookie turn every thread into a flame war? You know all it does is serve to piss everybody off.

why else do i wake up in the morning?

 

[iambored]

casey from idol is pretty, i agree, i have thought that from the beginning

 

[OZGIRL86]

she has a nice face

 

[zergcave]

Well if you're fat, as in REALLY (i.e your flabs just shows up, have a double chin, arms like my thighs) fat, then you'll need to lose weight fast (in a healthy way). As a man (or boy), I can tell you we don't like fat chicks (not implying your arms must be like a twig inorder to look good), but one's who are equal (no stick arms & legs with basketball sized boobs).
Here's an example of not being too skinny, yet still attractive (cute, whatever)-

http://www.boa-nation.com/album_pic.php?pic_id=340


Generally, as long as you have a balanced diet (e.g NOT 1 Big Mac + 1 Macca's salad for a meal, but 1 Big Mac a week and Subway (Ham Footlong with honey oak and all veges but chilli) for the rest! )

hmmm the berry dude actually suggests: another solution would be to get a bit of plastic surgery done, to the face specifically.

hmm otherwise my advice to u is to simply be more confident. and this confidence would only develop with experience and commitment. even the small things such as going out more at night, volunteer for ......election campaigns say, and also public speaking. People are not simply born confident. they have it built up through thier life experiences.
Once you get there, life will feel a whole lot different. many of the guy's misconception of you as being very unattractive will fade in time, as you socialise more with them.

 

[zergcave]

quote from Ms 12: . Relax, enjoy life, and that perfect man for you will one day just walk into your life. It will happen, ........


Ms 12 is making it sound as if .... things just .....happen. I find it quite unfortunate that nearly everyone in the thread is saying the same thing?

well let me tell u, things dont just happen! youve got to MAKE it happen gurl! simply sitting back and waiting will turn you into cold stone.

One's Success are Relative to their level of Input and Commitment.........You cant win by taking the back seat. One way or another - u MUST develop ur confidence, ur self-esteem. eg. find a job that is based on service - macdonalds?

 

[braindrainedAsh]

Thanks for the suggestions guys, but I already work in customer service (well beyond maccas hehe), and do public speaking (I am actually doing my drama teaching qualification)... I am actually fairly confident, just my looks I am not confident with.... and occassionally I get a bit down when I am under a bit of stress. But thanks for all your suggestions and kind words and stuff, you guys rock.