There's only so much a person can achieve with hard work - the article implies any kid can become what he wants if his parents push him hard. It's untrue. To become a mathematician or an astrophysicist hard work isn't enough. The article doesn't bring up intelligence at all. East Asians do well partly because of a hard working culture but it's mainly because East Asian groups have higher average IQs than whites.
If there are any Chinese in this thread, don't give the Anglos the satisfaction by agreeing with the article. Be proud of your genes and natural abilities.
See this thread here:
http://community.boredofstudies.org/showthread.php?t=253681&page=1
Thank you for your input. However, I was never intending this to turn into a racial debate.
However, I can hardly agree that strict parenting is a '
natural ability'. If we take a step back from the idea of the article and focus on the article itself, my impression is that Amy does not want children but rather
trophies. The author claims that she is guiding her children for their benefit and be grateful...but I have to question real impacts on the child.
What if the child fails to meet their expectations? Are they excluded from the family or will the mother have a sudden change of heart?
The author also seems to be self-righteous about her parenting approach and somewhat proud of her children's restricted lifestyle. I also have a problem with how she works so hard to make her children unable to question themselves. As demonstrated below:
[Lulu was trying to learn a piano piece, but continued to faile]
Lulu couldn't do it. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart. Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off.
"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.
"You can't make me."
"Oh yes, I can."
Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.
I am not suggesting that this is the mentality of a chinese parent, but I am suggesting that it is improper parenting. At the end of the article, Amy claims she is "
arming her children with inner-confidence"...This does not sound true in relation to her parenting. It sounds to me that she is arming her children with insecurity due to the constant failure to live up to expectations.
It's also concerning to read that the mother restricted her children play-dates and sleepovers. I really doubt her children have any true friends, and as academically brilliant as they may be, I feel that they will be disadvantaged once entering uni or the workforce with social skills of a child.
But let's be realistic, we cannot judge the mentality of a culture based on one individual, that is why I came here to ask asian students what their parents were like. Can I ask if you are asian?
I feel that this kind of parenting has resulted from a competitive mentality to be the best and outdo peers. The mentality seems to be very individualistic and very concerned about competing with peers. I also noticed your comment: "
don't give the Anglos the satisfaction by agreeing with the article. Be proud of your genes and natural abilities."...There is nothing wrong with having pride in your culture, but it sounds as if you are trying to justify the behaviour of Amy by stating that Asians are better than other Cultures, and thus, have won the '
competition'.
How would you rate your success based on happiness and fulfillment rather than Academic/Intellectual ability.
Most importantly, despite the difficulty, we should try to avoid an argument to which race is superior...None of us will never know which parenting approach is best as both have pros and cons and we cannot experience both to properly compare them. However, one thing that we can definitely agree on is that as long as the children are happy, the parenting approach is successful.
