communication problem (1 Viewer)

[bridgett]

me and this guy hav this really good friendship, that has evolved from previous relationships that me still b possible

he's moved to away and has a gf atm who knows about me and is really jealous and suspicious ... it makes it hard for me and this guy to talk even just as friends

the other night i msg'd him just to ask how he was goin etc, when i got a msg back sayin "who's this" .. i think it may hav been he's gf, as my number is under a dif name in his phone

im now hesitant to call or msg him again, just bcoz they prob had a fight about me as they hav b4 in a similair situation .. any advice ??

 

[Dreamerish*~]

There isn't anything you can do if he would throw away your friendship to make his girlfriend happy.

It doesn't seem you can contact him without causing trouble between them, especially when she's jealous to the point where he can't even keep your number under your own name. You can probably wait until they split up.

 

[sparkl3z]

"IF" they split up.

 

[bridgett]

It doesn't seem you can contact him without causing trouble between them.

that seems to b one of my main worries .. i dont want to b the reason y they split up

 

[Dreamerish*~]

"IF" they split up.

I don't doubt they will, if she won't let him talk to anyone who doesn't have a penis.

 

[ur_inner_child]

im in a two year relationship where this girl who lives in queensland cannot CANNOT stop talking to my boyfriend.

she makes emotional demands on him, to listen to her problems etc. When its highly inappropriate (eg he's on some date with me) and he says he'll call her back, she goes "you dont care about me do you!!! ARE WE EVEN FRIENDS!??!" and try to start something like "if you REALLY CARED ABOUT ME you would talk to me WHENEVER i feel like SHIT!!!"

and the next morning she'd back off and go "im sorry, im sorry for having you listen to me cry".

It's so fucking inappropriate. So its the grey area she's trampling on and I have no ground to tell her to fuck off, but seriously, its disrespectful

It's all well and good if you're friends, but remember he has a girlfriend to tend to.

sorry i had to get it off my back

 

[ur_inner_child]

I dont think you should care about her, your friendship is obviously worth more to him then his relationship. Ring as much as you wish, its your right.

depends on what she wants to say

 

[bridgett]

i know he cares bout her and i want them to b happy, and i dont want to break them up i just want talk talk to him bcoz we get along so well, its not an emotional dump for me ... she doesnt understand that we are JUST friends ...

 

[sparkl3z]

I dont think you should care about her, your friendship is obviously worth more to him then his relationship. Ring as much as you wish, its your right.

yeah..sure ring, do what playboy2njoy says so his girlfriend get's all jelous and they break up, and then wait for him to ask you out...that's only an IF possibility again.......but what about her emotional state? his gf would be real upset, if she's upset already...and the bf, if he really cared about her he wouldnt exactly be happy with you either. If you just see him as your friend, that's great, but friends have to know thier limits, otherwise there wouldnt be any difference between a friend an a gf.

 

[ur_inner_child]

lemme just clear one thing up

do you like him in that way?

 

[bridgett]

sort of but not to the point where i would expect him to break up wit his gf, or move back to where i live

its hard coz he told me he likes me in that way ... i dunno its sorta as if we will always hav a thing for eachother, just cant take it further atm so y try if ppl will just get hurt ??? if u get me :S

 

[sparkl3z]

ok....i'm confused, you actually do like him more than friends but think nothing will happen due to distance etc......but this guy has a girlfriend, but now, he told you he likes you, "recently" as in seriously? Because if he does that, it looks like he's already confused aswell.

 

[SilveryNightsky]

What I'd do is talk to the girlfriend telling her that he's your friend too and you have no intentions in breaking them up (selective info mind you) so there's no reason for her to be suspicious and jealous. "So grow up missy and let your boyfriend live a life that consists of TWO genders."

Funny how I'm kinda in your boyfriend's situation. 'cept I don't take shit from no one, even if it's my boyfriend.

 

[azzie]

ok lets be brutally honest.
you like the guy. and you would like him to break up with his girlfriend so that you could be with him and be happy forever and so on. seriously, there is no need to be "kinda" about it, its true. heaps of girls are in this situation all the time. i was once, and it was such an ick stage for me.
here's my advice- tell him you still want to be mates, but let him make the next move. if he keeps in contact, good. if he doesnt, oh well. you meet new people and start new friendships, crushes and relationships. don't put so much weight on one person, the might be nice but there are plenty of nice people you can relate to and be friends with out there. you might get along with him like a house on fire, but if he's putting his girlfriend over you (which, really, he should because he's dating her and not you) then there is nothing you can do about it, and trying to convince him otherwise will only cause more friction.
im sorry if that was harsh, but its true.

 

[iamsickofyear12]

Ring him and tell him to get rid of this chick. If she is so jealous you can't even talk to him without her thinking something is going on then she is nothing but trouble and has to go. He probably can't see it because he likes her so you need to make it clear to him.

 

[LuKiN]

ok. here is what you have to do. Stop calling him and stop making contact with him, if he tries to make contact with you make up some excuse and then hang up on him or whatever. Make sure he doesn't get the impression that you are angry with him.
Now here comes the main bit. In a few years time the chances are you will cross paths and when you do... BAM... best sex ever. Unless of course he has married that chick that hates you....

 

[olchik]

I understand you very well, girl! I have the situation like that. My close friend has started to date one girl and since that time he has forgot about me I think that the best thing is do nothing in this situation. He doesn't want to communicate with me anymore, just fine! I don't want to make him feel like he is obliged to talk to me.