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confronting sexuality or running away or supermanish? a little help? (1 Viewer)

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aLexTasyy

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for my first english task we need to compose a "creative response" on the concept of belonging.... i have three possible options:

confronting sexuality (ill put the intro there but im a bit lost with everything else)
It was a hot summers day, December 1st 2006, the day I, Rayne Greenwood realised id been lying to myself for the past 3 years. At age of 17 I realized I was gay… I didn’t want to tell my friends because they were the group of people, who didn’t associate themselves with the freaks as they call them, which can be defined as:

Freak: (n);
  • A person that is strikingly unusual and appears to be able to convey more than one emotion.
  • A person who has a brain to make their own decisions
  • A person who knows their sexuality, (Also Known As: Rayne Greenwood)

Me, I’m a freak, because I like girls, I said it I LIKE GIRLS. I’d always known that I was different, even when I was really little, little girls are supposed to be BFF with their Barbie dolls, I had Barbie Dolls and cut their hair boyishly short so they looked like Ken dolls, Mum never really thought anything of it, Dad on the other hand would throw every single one of these mutilated creations in the garbage. Mum was more understanding about raising a “confused child” I think that’s why Dad left. Mum’s never been the same since Dad left, she still treat me the same as ever but inside I know she’s dying without him. All I remember from that night was Dad yelling at Mum “She’s going to be a dyke, you’ve seen what she does to those dolls of hers”, then he left and slammed the door behind him, I’ve never heard from him since, I don’t really want to either, if someone can hurt another person whom they one were in love with its just wrong.

the running away one is different coz its about a chick who has just been told she's a foster child:
It was an unusually rainy night in January when Rayne Greenwood slammed the front door of number 11 behind her, before she sped away in her sword blue 1965 Ford Mustang never to return, leaving everything she ever knew far behind her. The stereo was belting out an angry rock as she drove through the deserted streets of Hazelbrooke trying to think things through.

(then i hit a dead end)

the third is possibly to much like superman
Night was just falling over the small town of Cherrybrook when suddenly there was a rumble of what seemed like thunder in the sky, then out of nowhere a circular craft was falling from the clouds, it landed in Rayanalise Greenwood’s front yard. Rayne Greenwood flew out the door to see what had just ruined her front yard, but when she reached the point of impact she was confronted by a grotesque looking creature holding a small bundle wrapped in a blue blanket. Rayne tried to converse with this creature but it appeared unable to speak and it just stood there holding the tiny bundle towards her, as though it wanted her to take it from him. This she did, and no sooner than Rayne Greenwood had the bundle in her arms the creature and the craft had disappeared into the clouds with the same thunderous noise it had appeared with. Rayne looked down at the tiny bundle in her arms still unsure of what she was in possession of; she proceeded back inside and into the lounge room. The bundle Rayne was holding was moving in her arms, alarmed at this she sat down and removed the blanket from the tiny bundle, inside was a beautiful baby girl, quite a contrast to the creature that had delivered it. The baby was holding a piece of paper covered with all kinds of symbols, Rayne removed the paper from the baby’s hand and the symbols morphed into English before Rayne’s eyes. It said:

She’s the last one left, take care of her
Rayne was overcome by emotion; she cradled the orphan in her arms and decided to name her Chevanah, or Chevy for short. She looked down at the baby who had nestled herself comfortably against Rayne’s body, as she was looking down at Chevy she noticed her watch, it was 10pm; she’d been watching Chevy sleep for three hours


i really need help with this im so lost...

 

fallenstar

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aLexTasyy said:
for my first english task we need to compose a "creative response" on the concept of belonging.... i have three possible options:

confronting sexuality (ill put the intro there but im a bit lost with everything else)
It was a hot summers day, December 1st 2006, the day I, Rayne Greenwood realised id been lying to myself for the past 3 years. At age of 17 I realized I was gay… I didn’t want to tell my friends because they were the group of people, who didn’t associate themselves with the freaks as they call them, which can be defined as:

Freak: (n);
  • A person that is strikingly unusual and appears to be able to convey more than one emotion.
  • A person who has a brain to make their own decisions
  • A person who knows their sexuality, (Also Known As: Rayne Greenwood)

Me, I’m a freak, because I like girls, I said it I LIKE GIRLS. I’d always known that I was different, even when I was really little, little girls are supposed to be BFF with their Barbie dolls, I had Barbie Dolls and cut their hair boyishly short so they looked like Ken dolls, Mum never really thought anything of it, Dad on the other hand would throw every single one of these mutilated creations in the garbage. Mum was more understanding about raising a “confused child” I think that’s why Dad left. Mum’s never been the same since Dad left, she still treat me the same as ever but inside I know she’s dying without him. All I remember from that night was Dad yelling at Mum “She’s going to be a dyke, you’ve seen what she does to those dolls of hers”, then he left and slammed the door behind him, I’ve never heard from him since, I don’t really want to either, if someone can hurt another person whom they one were in love with its just wrong.

the running away one is different coz its about a chick who has just been told she's a foster child:
It was an unusually rainy night in January when Rayne Greenwood slammed the front door of number 11 behind her, before she sped away in her sword blue 1965 Ford Mustang never to return, leaving everything she ever knew far behind her. The stereo was belting out an angry rock as she drove through the deserted streets of Hazelbrooke trying to think things through.

(then i hit a dead end)

the third is possibly to much like superman
Night was just falling over the small town of Cherrybrook when suddenly there was a rumble of what seemed like thunder in the sky, then out of nowhere a circular craft was falling from the clouds, it landed in Rayanalise Greenwood’s front yard. Rayne Greenwood flew out the door to see what had just ruined her front yard, but when she reached the point of impact she was confronted by a grotesque looking creature holding a small bundle wrapped in a blue blanket. Rayne tried to converse with this creature but it appeared unable to speak and it just stood there holding the tiny bundle towards her, as though it wanted her to take it from him. This she did, and no sooner than Rayne Greenwood had the bundle in her arms the creature and the craft had disappeared into the clouds with the same thunderous noise it had appeared with. Rayne looked down at the tiny bundle in her arms still unsure of what she was in possession of; she proceeded back inside and into the lounge room. The bundle Rayne was holding was moving in her arms, alarmed at this she sat down and removed the blanket from the tiny bundle, inside was a beautiful baby girl, quite a contrast to the creature that had delivered it. The baby was holding a piece of paper covered with all kinds of symbols, Rayne removed the paper from the baby’s hand and the symbols morphed into English before Rayne’s eyes. It said:

She’s the last one left, take care of her
Rayne was overcome by emotion; she cradled the orphan in her arms and decided to name her Chevanah, or Chevy for short. She looked down at the baby who had nestled herself comfortably against Rayne’s body, as she was looking down at Chevy she noticed her watch, it was 10pm; she’d been watching Chevy sleep for three hours
i really need help with this im so lost...


okay here's my advice (I did HSC Advanced English in 2008);
Try to be more original with your plotline and characterisation. The foster child thing, in addition to the confused and angsty teen, is overdone. Make it more creative. Write from your own experiences of belonging/not belonging. Also, avoid cliches.
Brainstorm ideas. Don't just start writing without at least a general idea of plot and direction. If you start without an understanding of how the story is going to flow, then you can veer off track and lose sense of topic.
 

youngminii

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aLexTasyy said:
At age of 17 I realized I was gay…

Yum

I dunno, it seems a bit.. Yeah.. Teenage angsty
Just do something a bit simpler
 

kaz1

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aLexTasyy said:
for my first english task we need to compose a "creative response" on the concept of belonging.... i have three possible options:

confronting sexuality (ill put the intro there but im a bit lost with everything else)
It was a hot summers day, December 1st 2006, the day I, Rayne Greenwood realised id been lying to myself for the past 3 years. At age of 17 I realized I was gay… I didn’t want to tell my friends because they were the group of people, who didn’t associate themselves with the freaks as they call them, which can be defined as:

Freak: (n);
  • A person that is strikingly unusual and appears to be able to convey more than one emotion.
  • A person who has a brain to make their own decisions
  • A person who knows their sexuality, (Also Known As: Rayne Greenwood)
Me, I’m a freak, because I like girls, I said it I LIKE GIRLS. I’d always known that I was different, even when I was really little, little girls are supposed to be BFF with their Barbie dolls, I had Barbie Dolls and cut their hair boyishly short so they looked like Ken dolls, Mum never really thought anything of it, Dad on the other hand would throw every single one of these mutilated creations in the garbage. Mum was more understanding about raising a “confused child” I think that’s why Dad left. Mum’s never been the same since Dad left, she still treat me the same as ever but inside I know she’s dying without him. All I remember from that night was Dad yelling at Mum “She’s going to be a dyke, you’ve seen what she does to those dolls of hers”, then he left and slammed the door behind him, I’ve never heard from him since, I don’t really want to either, if someone can hurt another person whom they one were in love with its just wrong.

the running away one is different coz its about a chick who has just been told she's a foster child:
It was an unusually rainy night in January when Rayne Greenwood slammed the front door of number 11 behind her, before she sped away in her sword blue 1965 Ford Mustang never to return, leaving everything she ever knew far behind her. The stereo was belting out an angry rock as she drove through the deserted streets of Hazelbrooke trying to think things through.

(then i hit a dead end)

the third is possibly to much like superman
Night was just falling over the small town of Cherrybrook when suddenly there was a rumble of what seemed like thunder in the sky, then out of nowhere a circular craft was falling from the clouds, it landed in Rayanalise Greenwood’s front yard. Rayne Greenwood flew out the door to see what had just ruined her front yard, but when she reached the point of impact she was confronted by a grotesque looking creature holding a small bundle wrapped in a blue blanket. Rayne tried to converse with this creature but it appeared unable to speak and it just stood there holding the tiny bundle towards her, as though it wanted her to take it from him. This she did, and no sooner than Rayne Greenwood had the bundle in her arms the creature and the craft had disappeared into the clouds with the same thunderous noise it had appeared with. Rayne looked down at the tiny bundle in her arms still unsure of what she was in possession of; she proceeded back inside and into the lounge room. The bundle Rayne was holding was moving in her arms, alarmed at this she sat down and removed the blanket from the tiny bundle, inside was a beautiful baby girl, quite a contrast to the creature that had delivered it. The baby was holding a piece of paper covered with all kinds of symbols, Rayne removed the paper from the baby’s hand and the symbols morphed into English before Rayne’s eyes. It said:

She’s the last one left, take care of her
Rayne was overcome by emotion; she cradled the orphan in her arms and decided to name her Chevanah, or Chevy for short. She looked down at the baby who had nestled herself comfortably against Rayne’s body, as she was looking down at Chevy she noticed her watch, it was 10pm; she’d been watching Chevy sleep for three hours


i really need help with this im so lost...

LOL.
 

gibbo153

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your most convincing when you write about personal experience, so try to work in as much of your own life as you can in a story.
 

Rhanoct

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if your teacher is anything like mine was, (s)he'll slap you in the face if you hand that in.

(scrap the idea; teen angst is stupid)
 

gibbo153

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yeah i kind of agree, you need to think about what the teacher is thinking. most of them have been teaching for more than a few decades. imagine how many teen angst stories they have read.

do you really want to be the 239849283423948th one ?

its a nasty pain in a markers side you probably want to avoid.
 
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try to reinvent an aspect of something youve read.

for example, i used an aspect of 1984 to spur the idea for my story.

it was by no means the same, but everyone is influenced by things around them, and you shouldnt be afraid to take aspects of things and play with them.
 
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