"creative" story (1 Viewer)

[arooshika...]

creative writing story

my expression is shit and my story is lame because i got the idea from another story. all my "creative" ideas arent related to journeys so i took the idea from another story. anyways read it and abuse it if u want.

if there are any last minute things i can do to improve on it, feel free to tell me.

 

[Sepulchres]

I think the idea of a "interview" is to have the interviewer more involved than to just ask a generic question and let the interviewee flow. It wouldnt impress the markers all that much. One thing you can do is take the topic of each section/section/paragraph and have the interviewer ask questions so that the person can answer with the material which you already have. At the moment it looks like a story which you've tried to mould into a interview.

 

[TheHeretic]

An interview involves the interviewer engaging the responder with questions, details, opinions, etc.

This needs to be redone.

 

[serge]

its difficult to have sophistication and subtlety from a child's perspective

 

[Dreamerish*~]

I agree with Tulipa. There are a lot of awkwardly phrased sentences and odd expressions. Just to point out a few:

"However, I am happy with my small house because it has something that Sydney can not afford with all the money in the world." - Who's Sydney? This personification is odd. Sydney doesn't buy things.

"... and timbered wood after school." - Chopped wood? Cut wood? Timber is wood, so it makes no sense to say "we wooded wood".

"However, at night, I do not see the priceless windows at all because the family may have pulled down their shutters." - I think this bit is completely unnecessary. It just sounds like an odd and blatantly obvious thing to say.

"However, when I come back, I must have learnt something." - I think you mean "However, I must learn something before I go back."

"As I looked back with every few steps I took, I saw a trail of foot prints following my path. After awhile I danced to my own shadow, making very weird shapes." - The imagery is ruined by the unsophisticated "very weird shapes". It also sounds a little too deliberate.

The mother placed my things outside her door because it will remind her of young boy who asked a very unusual question. - I found that quite strange. Who is this boy and what does he have to do with you? If the young boy is you, you need to make that more obvious because the first impression I got was that she was referring to someone else.

I like your idea of the golden windows though.

 

[hipPo3]

like sepulchres said .. interviews need to have more dialogue.. there has to be some humour, sarcasm, rhetoric questions and answers .. ur trying not to put the markers asleep .. they have to be impressed. Try to please the markers anyway possible

they mark around probably more than 100 pappers each, and the majority of them are like this one (not meant to discourage u) .. try and rise above the rest

 

[arooshika...]

yeah i agree....just not really good with interviews and i'll try to put a reality thing in it

i hope we just get a narrative or something similar

 

[hipPo3]

Neither am i .. but my personality allows me to make random hilarious jokes within short time spans.. so i have the upper foot in random rhetoric Question writings in interviews/speeches..

go me