Dating...why?! (1 Viewer)

[flyingdown]

Hi everyone. I badly need advice.
OK, here's the story. Once upon a time, a few weeks ago I decided I liked one of my friends. It turned out he liked me as well. We started dating. And I got over him straight away. I always do that and I hate myself for it. It's just that when we were still trying to get together it was all interesting and exciting. Now we are going out and I always get the feeling that this isn't right.
The same thing happened with the last person I was going out with, so I broke up with him after a week.
I feel really guilty and have no idea what to do, because it would be cruel to end the relationship.
Help, please!

 

[mr_brightside]

You want what you cant have.

Figure out what you REALLY want.

Then have it.

 

[flyingdown]

You want what you cant have.

Figure out what you REALLY want.

Then have it.

I want a functional relationship. I just don't feel right about this one. But I don't want anyone to be hurt.

 

[mr_brightside]

Your only going to hurt him more if you let his feelings develop whilst your in the corner bored of him.

 

[flyingdown]

But what if I never end up having a proper relathionship coz I get over it as soon as it gets to the dating stage? Maybe I should fight it and wait and see if my feelings change? I'm just scared that as soon as I break up with him I'll start liking him again. :S

 

[Casmira]

yeh im on the verge of taking some girl out we've been friends since about year 9? (she was a year below me) had no bf up until year 11 had him for about a year and then broke up

i guess ill ask her out, our "friendship" wasnt much fantastic i just talked and stuff with her and she asked me out (wierd i know) but her personality is so damn nice! like i love girls with her sense of humour (she laughs so much), bubbly, immature but mature at right time, and generous. i wish she hadnt already had a bf, she's going too be my first if this goes ahead

i know its not answering your question but i think im following same path/asking same question

 

[mr_brightside]

yeh im on the verge of taking some girl out...

hurry up and do it...or don't!

 

[SuGa BunI =D]

But what if I never end up having a proper relathionship coz I get over it as soon as it gets to the dating stage? Maybe I should fight it and wait and see if my feelings change? I'm just scared that as soon as I break up with him I'll start liking him again. :S

hang in there girl, hang in there!

*currently in the same situation *

 

[azzie]

maybe what you should do is not rush into things so much. i personally think if you're having that kinda problem you're rushing into relationships much too soon or maybe you're still to young to have a propper relationship. maybe you should just enjoy being single instead of trying to fit yourself in the mould of something you're not. you could find you have much more fun if you're not worried about how to make a relationship work when its not working.

when you get into a relationship, things will be exciting for a while. you're learning about another person and you're getting to love them. but if you think that kinda little-kid butterflies in the stomach thing will last forever... well... it wont. relationships arent always exciting. sometimes they're just day to day normal. if you want to make things work out in the long run you have to give yourself time to grow with someone and dont get frustrated if things aren't working out exactly as you thought they would. after all, this is real life, not the movies.

 

[olchik]

But what if I never end up having a proper relathionship coz I get over it as soon as it gets to the dating stage? Maybe I should fight it and wait and see if my feelings change? I'm just scared that as soon as I break up with him I'll start liking him again. :S

No! don't wait! If you don't like him just break up! Youк feelings may change but it would be not love but habit! Do you want it instead of love? Think yourself!

 

[SweetSeasons]

I wish i had of waited with my ex.. we went out for 2 weeks, then I broke it off with him and the next day I realised how much i liked him.. n then we went out again.. but it was always.. I dunno, brought up.. and kinda the down fall of our relationship.. I really love him, whish I could be with him again

 

[wrong_turn]

I wish i had of waited with my ex.. we went out for 2 weeks, then I broke it off with him and the next day I realised how much i liked him.. n then we went out again.. but it was always.. I dunno, brought up.. and kinda the down fall of our relationship.. I really love him, whish I could be with him again

its girls like you that i get fustrated with...make a decision and stay with it. dont quit when the going gets tough. if you break up with them, dont continue liking or loving us. just let it go. your only going to hurt us again. that is how i see it.

 

[katy-g]

Hehe, oh gosh.

It is a sticky situation. I used to be a lot like you. But i got over it.

With me, it was always the idea of the chase that excited me about boys. The idea of flirting, the courting, the butterflies (otherwise noted on SATC as the 'zsa-zsa-zsu') was exciting and somewhat exhilarating... But as soon as we started dating i'd get bored, complacent and end the relationship and start the whole process again... not realising who i was hurting in the process... whoops.

In the end i found a guy who i would do anything for. And 15 months later we're still together. Sure we have our moments when it feels like we're married and i wanna get back out there to flirt and see other people. My theory was 'you're only young once'... But i realise time and time again ive found someone who i love more than the chase... I wouldnt give him up for anything or anyone.

You just need to find something/someone who will tie you down. And it is definately not your friend/boyfriend.

End it now.

 

[flipsyde]

I think azzie's right you know. Maybe you're just not ready for a relationship... I'm 19 and Ive only just realised that I'm ready to be in a relationshop with someone. Before I didn't go looking and I wasnt really interested in having a relationship with anyone.

When a guy would ask me out, and if I likd him I'd say yes. But as soon as I got into the relationship I knew it was a bad idea. I wasnt ready for anything. I gritted my teeth and bared it out... it was 3 months of hell, yet my longest lasting relationship. I cant say I regret the relationship, I have learnt from it but I wish it hadnt of happened. I wasnt ready to be intimate.

Through watching my friends relationships and other peoples, I have had a gret insight. I've had 4 relationships and all have ended on the account of me not being ready. That and one of them cheated on me , but it was partly because yes .. I WASNT READY.

My advice, do what azzie says...end it and just wait, wait til you're ready. If you stick with this guy, you might regret it becasue it really does riun the freindship after.