do you tell? (1 Viewer)

[azzie]

i have seen this situation in practice and im interested to know what other people think of it:
say you saw someones boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on them with another person, would you tell the one being cheated on or not?

does it make a difference if you witnessed it or heard about it from someone else?
and does the level of friendship change what you say? (ie difference between a friend and a best friend)

 

[Emma-Jayde]

If I actually saw it with my own eyes, I'd tell my friend.
If I heard about it from someone ele, I wouldn't because I wouldn't know if it was true or not.
And no, the level of friendship probably wouldn't really change the way I said it.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

i have seen this situation in practice and im interested to know what other people think of it:
say you saw someones boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on them with another person, would you tell the one being cheated on or not?

does it make a difference if you witnessed it or heard about it from someone else?
and does the level of friendship change what you say? (ie difference between a friend and a best friend)

The level of friendship does matter. I wouldn't say a thing to a friend who isn't extremely close, because I don't want to be involved with their relationship problems, and they might bash me for being nosy.

However, if it was one of my best friends, I'd definitely tell them. It's better that they find out ASAP than to let their boyfriend carry on for a few months and then suddenly discover a repeated number on his phone bill. Your friend might get angry at you and question your intentions, but it won't take them too long to realise their sweetie is a cheating scum. It's even worse if you keep quiet, and eventually your friend discovers that you've known all along.

 

[azzie]

No, don't say anything. It's none of your business. It will sort itself out naturally. You have no role is sticking your nose into another persons business.

You should just presume that it is a one off or a mistake. However if it is clear that your friend is being taken for a ride by a two timing cheater than dob him in.

this isnt anything thats happening at the moment, i've just seen it happen before.

how do you know if it will sort itself out or not though? if the other person doesnt know and keeps dating the guy... well, what then?

 

[jumb]

No. It's not my problem and chances are they wont believe me and the cheater will lie about it.

 

[TheHarlequinMan]

this situation is quite the conundrum (yes, ive put some thought into an answer for the hated L&R)

if i saw it, i wouldnt tell...as has been discussed up there ^ its none of your business and if its meant to come out it will come out naturally...

but if i was being cheated on...id want someone to tell me so i can drop her like a lead brick...

 

[Dreamerish*~]

this situation is quite the conundrum (yes, ive put some thought into an answer for the hated L&R)

if i saw it, i wouldnt tell...as has been discussed up there ^ its none of your business and if its meant to come out it will come out naturally...

but if i was being cheated on...id want someone to tell me so i can drop her like a lead brick...

Then doesn't it make more sense to tell them?

They would get angry and accuse you of being jealous or nosy, but they'll thank you later. I said I would tell close friends because they're more likely to still be friends with you in case you're wrong.

 

[TheHarlequinMan]

Then doesn't it make more sense to tell them?

They would get angry and accuse you of being jealous or nosy, but they'll thank you later. I said I would tell close friends because they're more likely to still be friends with you in case you're wrong.

this is why i said its a conundrum...yu have to ask yourself whats better in the long run:

1. Blissful Ignorance (not telling)

OR

2. Possible Breakdown (telling)

conundrum alert

 

[ella_fitzgerald]

i'd say dont tell them if you heard about it.
if you saw it; dont tell them. its NONE of your business. what happens in their relationship is between them. plus what if you are wrong anyway? and its like, actually his girlfriend IN DISGUISE that he is kissing?!
you could always plant a few hints i spose. I just think its better not to get involved.
but, if they've broken up feel free to tell your friend what a cheating piece of scum their ex was

 

[my sharona]

i have seen this situation in practice and im interested to know what other people think of it:
say you saw someones boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on them with another person, would you tell the one being cheated on or not?

does it make a difference if you witnessed it or heard about it from someone else?
and does the level of friendship change what you say? (ie difference between a friend and a best friend)

Only if i didn't like their partner.

But seriously, unless you're very close to the person and it actually hurts you to see your friend with this cheating scumbag, you probably shouldn't. The friend might think you're trying to break them up with their significant other, the cheater might just lie outright and make you the enemy.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

but, if they've broken up feel free to tell your friend what a cheating piece of scum their ex was

If my boyfriend and I broke up, and my best friend told me that he has cheated on me a few times, I would be like "what kind of friend are you ".

Hence I stick with the telling.

 

[Rory]

I'd tell them, purely because if the roles were reversed I would want to be told, and if your friend gets pissy at you then that isn't your fault, they'll eventually realise they shouldn't be mad at you for their boyf/girlf doing the dirty behind their back, if they do stay mad, well that's their problem.

 

[neo o]

I asked a friend of my girlfriend about my girlfriends "other interests". She told me the truth. I appreciated it. Keep it to yourself though unless she asks you.

 

[ur_inner_child]

I told one of my good friends that his girlfriend (of two weeks) was sleeping with three other guys....

i did this AFTER i urged his girlfriend to admit to it.

he didn't believe me

which is out of his character

which cut...



i lost him as a friend, even after she admitted to it.

but this was years ago and they thought i was stopping what they called "love"... heh.




best to urge the cheater to tell their partner.

if she/he doesn't, leave it alone. could actually be useful that they know you know.

 

[carpediem]

I would tell my mate if i knew that the other guy isn't a friend of my friend, cause last thing i want one to do is start a fight and break up a relationship at the same time.

 

[glitter burns]

If I were tight with both of them, I'd talk to the cheater and say TELL or I will.
I were were only tight with the cheatee, I'd probably try to warn them or provide evidence of the cheating.
If I weren't so close to them I guess I'd have to just them figure things out themselves.

 

[transcendent]

Telling: You friend will know but they might not believe you, might think you have other intentions if they are, will stop being your friend.
Not telling: Dirty little secret you have to keep, they might find out you already know about it and no longer be friends.

They both look really hard to choose from, but I'd tell cause that's the kinda person I am. If someone's being cheated on I think my friend ought to know about it.

 

[INXS]

Curiosity killed the cat

 

[hipPo3]

i have seen this situation in practice and im interested to know what other people think of it:
say you saw someones boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on them with another person, would you tell the one being cheated on or not?

does it make a difference if you witnessed it or heard about it from someone else?
and does the level of friendship change what you say? (ie difference between a friend and a best friend)

lol .. that actually happened to me once .. but funneh that, the guy that my ex cheated on told me bout that misshap .. ahhhh quiet the larf i had
i think he just wanted me to get pissed and dump her .. tsk tsk .. for shame

 

[dany_starlet]

i have seen this situation in practice and im interested to know what other people think of it:
say you saw someones boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on them with another person, would you tell the one being cheated on or not?

does it make a difference if you witnessed it or heard about it from someone else?
and does the level of friendship change what you say? (ie difference between a friend and a best friend)

Put yourself in the situation of being cheated on and think about what you would want the person who witnessed it to do..

Imagine being the one that is cheated on and not knowing it... spending weeks, months and years with a person you believe has not cheated! Wouldn't you want to know??

To me it depends on the person... if they are best friend or close friend - They will know, I will tell but if it's some random person I don't really know then its none of my business.