dont get them T_T" (1 Viewer)

[mitsui]

ok this will sound complicated but i cant understand it anymore either, so sorri. >P thanks to anyone who read/comment on this issue. =P

i am currently having problem with two guys,
1 is my best buddy from kindgarden [thot i dont remember that long ago], another is an uni guy i know from work.

anyway. the best frd and i were obviously close, we form a bond more close than most brother and sisters we know. but then he told me a while ago that he likes me for however-long, and it was kinda a shock bcoz we been friends for so long. but he is like overseas now [i came to aussie more like it] and due to some personal reasons, i rejected him pretti harshly juz to get him ova the whole idea. =\

but now we are a weird pair of frds, even though he insists that he hasn't change and still want the friendship [it is utterly important], i know he has been more quiet [as he is the quiestest guy i know, that is kinda hard] and isn't as open to me anymore.

the uni guy i met from work is pretti coincidental, i juz saw him one day and went "frk! he is so cool!" even though most people agree he is like ugly or some crap but he is like original. he is QUIET and shy but he can communicate to most gurls fine. i added him on msn but he doesn't talk to me or sometimes doesn't reply. he didnt even said hi bak at work or juz ignore me most of the time. i spent 6months or so tryin to figure out wat is wrong wif me, coz he talks to all my frds fine.

by the time i gave up, he started to say hi and stuff but we have nothin to say to each other. =\ he can call me annoying one day then ask my mobile no. the next.
i dont get him anymore but i think he is cooler than ever. >D now that he stops ignoring me, i start to wish to b his frd but he is like 5yrs my senior and thinks i am too young. and it hurtz when he looks at me without any smiles. =\

i am kinda naive on relationships.... sorri pplz! ^O^
any suggestion??

 

[loquasagacious]

Ok firstly the long term friend has obviously enough emotionally closed down toward you because you knocked him back that harshly. To him it was a shot from blue skies, he was open to you and you hurt him. He's obviously enough going to be defensive from now on. Combine that with you being away and I bet he is trying to have 'get happy' sex.

As far as the second guy my guess is that as you say he thinks you're too young and in many ways you are a 5 year gap for a 17 year old (eg you) is a pretty big gap. You wouldn't date a 13 year old would you?

My advice go for guys your own age.

 

[Lainee]

You just have to give the friend some time, he's just gone through a rejection (even if it was by you) and probably isn't sure how you'd react or how he should feel, especially if he's liked you for a long time. The one sure thing is that he still want you close, regardless of whether you're friends or more than that, and that probably shows that he's a good friend and truly likes you as a person and not just as a potential partner. You just can't expect him to bounce back to the way he was before quickly, and it's understandable that he's a bit more closed off and reserved - wouldn't you be if you got knocked back? Just continue acting the way you did before, but making your intentions clear that you see him solely as a friend, and let time run its course.

As for the second guy, you can interpret his inconsistency so many ways (his ignoring you could mean he likes you, but also that he can't stand you ) that it's not worth spinning up hypotheticals. See the 'How do you know if someone likes you?' thread for such examples.

 

[stfu noob]

I agree with loquasagacious, 5 years at our age is quite a big gap - you guys will have very different intrests. Nothing wrong with being friends with him though. If he continues to act the way he does, just forget him and move on. It'll save you alot of emotional stress in the long run.

 

[SuGa BunI =D]

*shakes head* give you that *your pathetic* look
- guy friend- you hurt his feelings (ego), what did you expect? rverything gonna be nice and rosy as if nothing happened? ofcos not
- guy at work- its just your obsession/ fascination over him, get over it, 6 months and you cant even talk to him or score a date… *jeez*.. and most importantly, you don’t even know if they guy likes you or not so what’s with the : hurtz when he looks at me without any smiles. =\” your freakish

 

[Götterfunken]

Incest for the win!

 

[FoodForThought]

i think all is said already....

 

[super katie]

As far as the second guy my guess is that as you say he thinks you're too young and in many ways you are a 5 year gap for a 17 year old (eg you) is a pretty big gap. You wouldn't date a 13 year old would you?

My advice go for guys your own age.

There is a world of difference between a 13/18 relationship and a 17/22 relationship. Out of experience i'd say older guys are a safer bet for the moment.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

Why do you think the uni-guy is so cool if he hardly acknowledges your existence?

You can't possibly like someone that much if they ignore you, don't smile, you have no idea what they're like because you haven't talked to them, and they are (apparently) not that much of a looker.

Also, 5 years of age difference is a bit much at our age. There are exceptions, of course. But you might find it hard to get along because of the age gap.

I feel for your kindergarten friend. He must have been quite hurt. But then again, you shouldn't feel obliged to go out with him just because he has known you all your life. It's better to let him down gently than to start a relationship you don't want. I don't know how harsh you were, but you probably shouldn't have been too blunt.

 

[spank_meh]

There is a world of difference between a 13/18 relationship and a 17/22 relationship.

i gotta agree on this one with katie..

lol guys r weird but there is this guy that didnt reply to me on msn at all while he was chattin to other ppl.. well it was like =I for the first time but then after a yr or so we started talking... weird... so yer...

 

[mitsui]

thanks every1 for the advice, i guess i kinda got the general idea


re: SuGa BunI 's comments. me and the uni guy do talk but it is weird and dont think he want to b my frd either. i will cold the whole thing and see how it goes. =]

as for my bestie, i didn't realli reject him that harshly, i was realli thinking about how a long distance relationship is realli gonna drag him down [missing out all the betta gurls around him and stuff] i realli dont want his gf to b someone who cant b there for him all the time.

it all comes down to one Q realli, that is i donno wat is love. >D
lolz. but THANKX!

 

[iambored]

say friends with the friend
you only like the uni guy because he has come along at this time and there is no one better, i am sure you can find someone better

 

[FoodForThought]

The close friend knows you more than anyone else, stick with him.

i second that... plus the uni guy - either he doesnt really like you, or once you actually get close to him its not gonna be much different to a wall coz he obviously isnt the type that will show much emotion.

 

[azzie]

Just one thing... frd is really annoying to read, friend aint that many more letters

With the friend thing- Friends should stay friends and you make a good choice. Doesn't matter if you think it was harsh or what, it's better to tell him to back off now than be cushy about it and give him the wrong idea. It might be a bit weird because he's hurting that he got rejected by you and you're a bit weirded out about these feelings he has/had for you, but in time if you guys are real friends, you'll get up and over it.

About the guy thing- guys call everyone annoying, bitchy, stupid, nerdy blah blah and it's as a joke. Girls do that too. It's just people joking around. Don't put your heart into it 100% and be totally infatuated with him (or try not to be!), so that if it happens, its all good, but if it doesn't, do drama.

 

[Götterfunken]

Just one thing... frd is really annoying to read, friend aint that many more letters

With the friend thing- Friends should stay friends and you make a good choice. Doesn't matter if you think it was harsh or what, it's better to tell him to back off now than be cushy about it and give him the wrong idea. It might be a bit weird because he's hurting that he got rejected by you and you're a bit weirded out about these feelings he has/had for you, but in time if you guys are real friends, you'll get up and over it.

About the guy thing- guys call everyone annoying, bitchy, stupid, nerdy blah blah and it's as a joke. Girls do that too. It's just people joking around. Don't put your heart into it 100% and be totally infatuated with him (or try not to be!), so that if it happens, its all good, but if it doesn't, do drama.

Nerd! lolz! kekekekke

 

[Frigid]

*shakes head* give you that *your pathetic* look
- guy friend- you hurt his feelings (ego), what did you expect? rverything gonna be nice and rosy as if nothing happened? ofcos not
- guy at work- its just your obsession/ fascination over him, get over it, 6 months and you cant even talk to him or score a date… *jeez*.. and most importantly, you don’t even know if they guy likes you or not so what’s with the : hurtz when he looks at me without any smiles. =\” your freakish

i concur.

to add, i don't think these things are not meant to be "got" (ie understood in logic or rationality). things happen, circumstances occur, etc.

 

[Götterfunken]

the problem is that your eyes are 't's.