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drama script (1 Viewer)

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*wbg*

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not sure if this is the right place to post this.. this is a drama script that is due in week five, im hoping some of you guys can give me some feedback on what needs changing or improving.. also, do you think the timing is right? i feel that it isnt paced propperly and that some places move to quickly..
 
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*wbg*

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sorry, the computer keeps cutting out.. sorry!.. hopefuly it is attached now.. thanks
 
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m0ofin

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Your drama script is quite well written so far and it's interesting. I've read about 4 pages since I'm quite busy at this moment but when I finish I'll get back to you :)

Btw, I'm not sure if I've done it right but I always tend to put the actions in brackets because it clearly separates the actions from the dialogue. But then again, we could always wait till another yr 10er, 11er or 12er comes by to clarify.
 
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*wbg*

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thanks m0ofin.. i look forward to hearing what you think of the rest of it...:)

anyone else? *cries in empty thread* please...? :(:(:(
 
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