Dumped for not saying "i love you" (1 Viewer)

[Enoch]

The biggest turn off is someone being obsessed with you? Sure, if negligent boyfriends who would rather eat glass than think about being involved in a relationship of more than half a year tickles your fancy, go for it.

uhhh the dood had a hissy fit wen his gf didnt say i love u bak...lmao...

 

[ogmzergrush]

you don't necessarily have to express your feelings for someone by saying "i love you" - let alone expecting it to be said back so soon. you can express your affection with other gestures - like gifts, compliments, outings etc.

i wouldn't want my bf constantly on my back waiting and asking for a response for me to say "i love you" - let alone start a fight and a break up about it. that is a scary thing - especially if you are the type of person who would want to mean it. i never even said that the biggest turn off if someone obsessed with you. - but the pressure he put on her is.

On the other hand, it's possible to respect someone's feelings when they say "I love you" without saying it back, and it doesn't involve laughing or saying "thanks".

If someone is not even going to explain why they're not reciprocating in the face of repeated attempts, why should the guy bother staying?

The reason for his persistence may be that he thought it'd make it clear that he really meant it, seeing as laughing and asking if it's a joke *might* have given him the impression that she didn't get it. Certainly, he'd have to be quite a genius to realise that this laughter and comment actually meant "That's very sweet of you to say, but I think saying I love you is really important, and it's not something I do lightly. That doesn't mean I don't think you're fantastic, and it doesn't mean that I don't feel strongly about you, just that I'm not ready to say it in that way yet".

In the face of a response like that I'm sure most people would clam up and wait till you were ready to say it back, but when you're laughing and acting like a child about it, I'd predict that the guy would either repeat it trying to prove that he meant it, or snap and get sick of going out with someone who clearly wasn't ready to deal with someone else's emotions seriously. What do you know, in this case she got both.

 

[arooshika...]

he has to realise he is being to fast for you and you are not ready for it. there many ways to express feelings and probably the approach he took was not right....i think i should stop giving advice now

 

[Lhyviathan]

i would be gettin my sorry little ass outta there if my bf kept saying to me "i love you" "i love you" "i love you"

Oh, I don't think you need to worry about that happening...

 

[rOMON]

Hes in it for the sex.
If not, hes a nut.
Teengers dont fall in love, unless there crazy.
Crazy kids should drive cars real fast alot.

 

[Firnovvwen]

I had a boyfriend once. I saw him once in the two months we were going out. We lived (and stilll live) 5 minutes away. I don't think we even talked on the phone or said we missed each other 'coz we never saw each other. I broke it off, and he said, "oh, we were still going out?"

If he thinks you don't love him, just because you didn't say it, well, he has issues, and he clearly doesn't know you too well to be going out with you. And he broke it off after that. He really doesn't love you then.

He's lost something of value, but he doesn't know it yet. If he comes crawling back to you, kick him.

 

[hfis]

He sounds insecure. He needs someone else to affirm him on an intimate level - to demonstrate to him that he isn't worthless. Be thankful you got out of that trainwreck early.

 

[OZGIRL86]

"i can't handle the way you respond whenever i say it." - um what the? he has said it three times and first time i laughed, 2nd i giggled and said thanks and 3rd i just smiled and kissed him on the cheek. - was it that bad?

That made me laugh. Put yourself in his situation. Pretend for a second that you're really certain that you're in love with your partner, so you decide to tell them. They laugh. Not to be put off that easily, you give it another go, and they laugh again. Third time, still no response. Gee, I wonder what the obvious conclusion is there, seeing as you don't appear to have actually explained *why* you won't say it back, or why you think it's funny when he says it.

He was probably wrong going off about it, but you'd have to be a moron to not understand why it happened. It's not really that difficult to say "I really like being with you, but I'm going to wait until I'm really sure that it's love before I say so, because when I do I really want it to mean something", rather than just laughing at him, repeatedly. You've said basically the same thing here, it seems strange that you chose to explain it better to us than to him.

She asked a question, I answered it. I don't mean it to sound like an attack, but when I look at what's posted it really does seem that the guy's feelings haven't really been considered at all.

I agree
_____

 

[Alimoe_KG]

OZGIRL! <3

I could never not say i love you to you !

 

[bernz]

Enoch has said some things that actually make sense in thsi thread. Unfortunately, he then said a lot more things that didn't make sense.

And now for the relevant stuff.

Don't feel bad, you didn't do anything wrong. Just try to make it clear to him where you stand, i.e. what you think and how you feel (perhaps that this isn't clear to you yet). And don't worry, things will sort themselves out as they always do. I hope you took a raincheck on the dinner...

 

[OZGIRL86]

OZGIRL! <3

I could never not say i love you to you !

omg hi Airness
how sweet!
long time no see! wb <3

 

[iambored]

copacabana was it you that said you would never sleep with a guy unless he said he loved you, and you tolf your now ex bf that?

if that was you - i think you should watch his motives. if he really loved you he wouldn't be able to live without you, if he didn't think he was getting any action he would

 

[borkis04]

a nice rhyme!

its what im here for..**sleazy smile**

 

[arooshika...]

its what im here for..**sleazy smile**

dont get all sleazy with me!

 

[borkis04]

dont get all sleazy with me!

sory..its in my nature..im actually a 44yr old Italian stepfather of 34 children with 13 wives with slick hair...

so there ya go.. how can you resist

 

[arooshika...]

sory..its in my nature..im actually a 44yr old Italian stepfather of 34 children with 13 wives with slick hair...

so there ya go.. how can you resist

irresistable!

 

[Copacabana NYC]

he came over and i spoke to him before he went to work this morning. i said i was sorry if my responses to his 'i love you' was a bit rude and obnoxious and explained to him that i am grateful that he does, and care a lot about him.

he accepted my apology and said "so like coz i said it, can i come over tonight and you know?"

im like "er...what?"

and he goes "you know what i mean. stay over and all?"

i said "and do what?"

he said "well, what do you think?"

i just said "er, well i think we are on different levels at the moment and right now i just want to focus on my hsc so maybe its best if we have some time apart."

he replied "oh so after i said all that, i can't fuck u?"

and i just said "are you kidding? ok, i think you need to leave."

um i think thats it....he was much obliged to leave when i said that. he even said "fuck you" when he was walking out the door.

charming.

 

[borkis04]

irresistable!

haha so true

 

[arooshika...]

he came over and i spoke to him before he went to work this morning. i said i was sorry if my responses to his 'i love you' was a bit rude and obnoxious and explained to him that i am grateful that he does, and care a lot about him.

he accepted my apology and said "so like coz i said it, can i come over tonight and you know?"

im like "er...what?"

and he goes "you know what i mean. stay over and all?"

i said "and do what?"

he said "well, what do you think?"

i just said "er, well i think we are on different levels at the moment and right now i just want to focus on my hsc so maybe its best if we have some time apart."

he replied "oh so after i said all that, i can't fuck u?"

and i just said "are you kidding? ok, i think you need to leave."

um i think thats it....he was much obliged to leave when i said that. he even said "fuck you" when he was walking out the door.

charming.

great ex you got there!!! asshole! actually a fucken asshole

 

[borkis04]

he came over and i spoke to him before he went to work this morning. i said i was sorry if my responses to his 'i love you' was a bit rude and obnoxious and explained to him that i am grateful that he does, and care a lot about him.

he accepted my apology and said "so like coz i said it, can i come over tonight and you know?"

im like "er...what?"

and he goes "you know what i mean. stay over and all?"

i said "and do what?"

he said "well, what do you think?"

i just said "er, well i think we are on different levels at the moment and right now i just want to focus on my hsc so maybe its best if we have some time apart."

he replied "oh so after i said all that, i can't fuck u?"

and i just said "are you kidding? ok, i think you need to leave."

um i think thats it....he was much obliged to leave when i said that. he even said "fuck you" when he was walking out the door.

charming.

aww...JERK!...
dont worry..as other ppl have said in this thread..there r bigger fish in the ocean dood!

pff..just too sleazy he was aye..**rolling eyes while whistling**