English Extension 2! Where to start? (2 Viewers)

[Shadowdude]

You can also link back to Prelim work. It's what I did for the form of my own work.

And you link it back by using the HSC/Prelim work as an inspiration of sorts for parts of your work. You document this in your journal, and then you mention it in the Reflection Statement.

 

[Sweet16123]

Is it also allowed to use an movie of an haunted house and put the first scene or so into writing, and then expand on that?

I could document this in my journal.

 

[Shadowdude]

Is it also allowed to use an movie of an haunted house and put the first scene or so into writing, and then expand on that?

I could document this in my journal.

Yes.

And you make sure you document it in your journal.. or the marker might go "Isn't this from a movie?" and see you haven't referenced it and you'll get zero because you plagiarised or something. Extreme case, but srsly - document everything you do in the journal.

 

[Sweet16123]

Including things I decide to delete and my reasons?

Would an journal be just like an writing booklet and for each page like "Day 1" - what I did "Day 2" - what I did, and etc?

 

[yours]

Yes.

And you make sure you document it in your journal.. or the marker might go "Isn't this from a movie?" and see you haven't referenced it and you'll get zero because you plagiarised or something. Extreme case, but srsly - document everything you do in the journal.

markers just flick through your journal. Can you imagine them reading them all back-to-front? There's 2000~ and they're usually 100+ pages long... The only thing that made me use mine was because it was marked in school assessments

 

[Shadowdude]

Including things I decide to delete and my reasons?

Would an journal be just like an writing booklet and for each page like "Day 1" - what I did "Day 2" - what I did, and etc?

Yeah, pretty much. Stick bits of research there, your random thoughts, drafts of your Reflection Statement and Major Work. That was basically 90% of mine, the drafts... I didn't too much research. My research was mostly reading books.

markers just flick through your journal. Can you imagine them reading them all back-to-front? There's 2000~ and they're usually 100+ pages long... The only thing that made me use mine was because it was marked in school assessments

True. I used mine to be a record of what I had done - and to be a neat little folder for my past drafts. That's what mine was basically... a folder for my past drafts. And then 5% writing I did on the subject, like my reflections...

 

[Sweet16123]

By draft of the MW and Reflection statement; you mean an plan?

 

[yours]

By draft of the MW and Reflection statement; you mean an plan?

yeah you can put a plan in. You can also put in the full word-length versions with teachers comments on them, then write something on the side as to the 'direction' you're going to take after 'reflecting' on their feedback.

 

[Shadowdude]

By draft of the MW and Reflection statement; you mean an plan?

I meant full length versions. I only had two drafts of my RS, and perhaps fifteen for the Major Work. I put all of them in a big folder which was part of my journal to go to the BOS.

 

[Sweet16123]

You mean an whole story; like 25 pages+ for an draft?

So you just add bits and pieces to your draft as you go through your research and then ask for feedback?

And eventually you will copy your exact draft getting rid of the weaknesses and type it up and sent it to the BOS.


Btw, fifteen draft stories? How did you manage that?

 

[Shadowdude]

You mean an whole story; like 25 pages+ for an draft?

So you just add bits and pieces to your draft as you go through your research and then ask for feedback?

And eventually you will copy your exact draft getting rid of the weaknesses and type it up and sent it to the BOS.


Btw, fifteen draft stories? How did you manage that?

Yes, all around 8000 words.

What I did was I wrote a full draft and then each successive draft, I'd fix up spelling, grammar and the like - along with adding in a new section, deleting other sections, different formatting, etc. I asked for feedback after each draft - mostly from students because teacher's were too busy.

And then you keep doing that until deadline day when you send the final draft over. Fifteen is actually quite usual for EX2. You should expect to have around 15.

 

[yours]

Yes, all around 8000 words.

What I did was I wrote a full draft and then each successive draft, I'd fix up spelling, grammar and the like - along with adding in a new section, deleting other sections, different formatting, etc. I asked for feedback after each draft - mostly from students because teacher's were too busy.

And then you keep doing that until deadline day when you send the final draft over. Fifteen is actually quite usual for EX2. You should expect to have around 15.

I don't think I had 15. More like (thinks)...1 for viva voce...then restart 2... then restart 3... then restart for 'REPORT' assessment 4... then restart 5.. redraft of that 6.. some small edits but that was it. But I don't know what you counted as a separate draft. Also I didn't have many people look at mine (I read some of my friends but when I gave mine to them they said they were too busy to read it =/). My reflection statement was strongest and I didn't do any drafts of that.. I wrote it 5-6 days before the final assessment, but used the report for lots of the ideas. It was easy to write because my idea was all about work from advanced and genres, so I spent most of it making connections. Everyone complained about the in-school final mark for the draft because the teachers who marked it weren't consistent (apparently) but almost everyone I knew got 13/15 for the story... it's like she couldn't decide if it was good or bad so just put 13

 

[Sweet16123]

So around 12-15? And then you just pick the best one?

So you're basically writing 15 drafts, each 8000 words, in the same context and plot line?

Btw, what do you think of this paragraph in the middle of my plot; this sentence was shaped from the novel "I Know What You Did Last Wednesday."

Gasping her breath after witnessing the horrendous death of Rory, with blood scattered in her hands shaking and shivering, she bolted out the front door running as fast as an high-speed rail, her hair swelling around her face, her eyes deemed with fright and shock, and her whole body shaking with anxiety as if she suffered arthritis.

What do you think? This was after an character had witnessed an murder in the haunted house.

 

[Shadowdude]

I don't think I had 15. More like (thinks)...1 for viva voce...then restart 2... then restart 3... then restart for 'REPORT' assessment 4... then restart 5.. redraft of that 6.. some small edits but that was it. But I don't know what you counted as a separate draft. Also I didn't have many people look at mine (I read some of my friends but when I gave mine to them they said they were too busy to read it =/). My reflection statement was strongest and I didn't do any drafts of that.. I wrote it 5-6 days before the final assessment, but used the report for lots of the ideas. It was easy to write because my idea was all about work from advanced and genres, so I spent most of it making connections. Everyone complained about the in-school final mark for the draft because the teachers who marked it weren't consistent (apparently) but almost everyone I knew got 13/15 for the story... it's like she couldn't decide if it was good or bad so just put 13

I would write the original. That is the first draft. Edit that, and refine it - that would be the second draft. And then refine it again/add new section/delete something - that would be the third draft. And so on.

My story's drafts went: First, Second, Second (Revised), Third, Fourth, Fifth, Fifth (Revised), Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, Eighth (Revised), Ninth (Finals Series), Tenth Draft (Final), The Final. All along the same plotline and... yeah. That's how mine shaped up to become what it is.

So around 12-15? And then you just pick the best one?

So you're basically writing 15 drafts, each 8000 words, in the same context and plot line?

Btw, what do you think of this paragraph in the middle of my plot; this sentence was shaped from the novel "I Know What You Did Last Wednesday."

Gasping her breath after witnessing the horrendous death of Rory, with blood scattered in her hands shaking and shivering, she bolted out the front door running as fast as an high-speed rail, her hair swelling around her face, her eyes deemed with fright and shock, and her whole body shaking with anxiety as if she suffered arthritis.

What do you think? This was after an character had witnessed an murder in the haunted house.

I picked the last one because if you read how I made my drafts, each successive one improved on the last one. So my second last draft was called "The Penultimate" and then the last one was "The Final" - and was what I sent. And read above to see my 'draft' process.

And your sentence has a few mistakes there. Firstly, you use present tense when you say 'gasping her breath' and then you switch to past tense in 'she bolted' - so you might want to fix up tenses a bit, though that's minor. 'An high speed rail' is wrong, it should be 'a high speed rail' - and that doesn't make sense either... is that like a high speed train or...? And lastly, you might want to fix up your similes because 'as if she suffered arthritis' seems a bit.. weak to me. It's not a... great simile. To me. Others might find it nice.

And that's why you have to let your story be read by many, because if you shape it based on what I think - you'll get a story that I like, but perhaps a story the majority of other readers won't.

 

[Sweet16123]

Yeah, an high speed train.

And maybe "As if she suffered a lightening shock?"

 

[Shadowdude]

Yeah, an high speed train.

And maybe "As if she suffered a lightening shock?"

A high speed train. Not 'an'.

And it's "lightning" shock. But yeah, that seems better.

You're gonna have to fix your spelling up if you want to do EX2 because they do punish harshly for spelling and grammatical errors. After all, you have almost a year to write the story so it pretty much has to be perfect when you send it in.

 

[Deep Blue]

A tip I read somewhere when creating metaphors:
Write down the metaphor. Then keep changing words until it sounds like something you have never read before but sounds like something you have felt before. This way you are constantly keeping the reader interested, making them involved and the sustaining originality of your piece. Extended metaphors within the context of your story (tying in a motif perhaps) also work well if done well.

 

[Sweet16123]

I'll try to keep note of grammar or spelling errors.

What do you think of this as my the beginning of my story?


They all approached the golden-silver shiny platter to abroad the new ship on a foggy, windy and snowy day.

Rory, Emily, Louis and Liz were all old high school friends ready to take off and relax after a daunting and stressful HSC year. The old sea captain approached the platform, guiding all his passengers with safety rules and guidelines; flattering, enticing and marveling the passengers. He was the strangest looking old midget ever found; with a beard so long it passed his tiptoes, with a nose as long as the good ol’ Emily Post, and with the shortest hair growing possible.

“Jump on” yelled the Sea Captain; with the wind blowing angrily in his face. “I can’t wait to show you the land beyond the sea!” Liz smelt an sense of wickedness in his voice.

 

[Deep Blue]

They all approached the golden-silver shiny platter to abroad the new ship on a foggy, windy and snowy day. Platter, something you serve food on, doesn't make sense in the context. Abroad is an adverb and cannot be used as a verb; I think you mean board instead. Can you describe what kind of ship it is, how is it knew? As the reader, I would like a visual, at the moment it could be any sort of ship and if the characters are going to be spending any length of time on it, a description should be clear in mind, even if it is not a physical description. Can a day really be foggy, windy and snow? Also, is there a way you could possibly show us this instead of telling us?

Rory, Emily, Louis and Liz were all old high school friends ready to take off and relax after a daunting and stressful HSC year. The old sea captain approached the platform, guiding all his passengers with safety rules and guidelines; flattering, enticing and marveling the passengers. He was the strangest looking old midget ever found; with a beard so long it passed his tiptoes, with a nose as long as the good ol’ Emily Post, and with the shortest hair growing possible. Why are those the characters names? They don't need to have meaning but within short stories, names can be a perfect way to convey a deeper metaphoric meaning within the characters' portrayal. How can they be 'old high school friends' when they have just finished school? If the characters are new to the ship, how do they know he is the old sea captain or is it describing his age? The use of passengers twice in the same sentence, even with a semicolon separating them, seems tacky. The description you give of the sea captain doesn't do anything but place him in a box, instead of making him a character. Use toes, not tiptoes; sounds better. "Shortest hair growing possible" sounds contradictory to the long beard; is his hair short is some places and not others, and why is this important?

“Jump on” yelled the Sea Captain; with the wind blowing angrily in his face. “I can’t wait to show you the land beyond the sea!” Liz smelt an sense of wickedness in his voice.'Sea Captain' here is capitalised but in the previous paragraph it wasn't. Also, you said earlier that they were going on a relaxing cruise, but 'land beyond the sea' sounds like the boat is going to an island, not a cruise. Liz smelt a sense of wickedness.

Sorry if all of that seemed a bit critical, but that was just how I read it; I am trying to help, not put you down.

 

[Sweet16123]

What I meant by "old" is that they had been friends for a long time in that context.

The passengers were looking to relax and go to some place. Old sea captain is just describing his age.

I hope it makes you understand those bits.