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Kutay

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Hey i was wondering if someone could make some comments on my essay, keeping in mind i cant really do more then 1100 words..

thankyou in advance
 
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Err... we need the essay question in order to critique how well you have answered the question!
 

serge

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I like your essay

I wouldnt say "totalitarian principles" of the 1920s
I just dont think its correct
Huxley feared a totalitarian takeover like in Communist Russia and Facsist Italy…
(No-one should ever mention Hitler or Nazis)

Just because these totalitarian states existed in the 1920s doesnt mean it was popular or influential in Huxleys context (1920s Britain)

I would also probably add to Huxleys fear of the roaring 20s...
Promiscuity, divorces, low church numbers etc.
People were finding happiness at the bottom of a bottle instead of with god
and Huxley was afraid of this getting out of control.

For Blade Runner I would mention 1970s instead of 80s as it takes a long time for a movie to be made…

You could mention that bokanofskification is pseudo scientific jargon, which makes the book seem authentic and therefore realistic.

You could also use the quote “I want more life, fucker”
for your point about Tyrell's lack of empathy.
Just a personal favourite I guess

aslong as you refer to the question they ask in the exam you should do well

...and I would add commercialisation and the money-driven societies
instead of the purpose of family in humanity
 

Kutay

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this was just a generic essay based on pass questions.. so was wondering what type of mark would i be looking at out of 20 ??
 
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^ Even in most "generic" questions, they will be a twist in the question. I can't give you a mark out of 20 without knowing what you were trying to answer. Maybe other people can, but I can't. Sorry.

There's a difference to what I call "practice writing" and "practice essays". The former is getting used to writing all the generic stuff you know and getting comfortable with recalling it to time, and phrasing it nicely. Practice essays draw upon this knowledge and understanding as it is shaped to *answer* a *specific* question.
 

serge

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i think if you constantly refer to the question
you could get 16, you'll probably need more
sophistication and a deeper knowledge
for a higher mark
 

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