Well, this might be too late, but here are some thoughts without getting too technical about the essay.
You've got a lot of great stats, but there's too many. Stick to the core few, such as HDI (and the 3 related to it). Don't be afraid to recycle the best stats rather than putting a billion good ones.
You've got solid background info about China, and you just need to frame them to specifically answer the question now. So, keep in mind that Chinese policies should lead your arguments and paragraphs.
Include some diagrams, for instance, the kuznet's curve.