Feeling Guilty... (1 Viewer)

[YvetteSullivan]

My boyfriend and I started going out just 1 and half months ago. And ever since we've been breaking up and get together for about 3 times (due to my insecurities and the coming HSC) But now I want this relationship to work.

As for HSC, I'm not too worried about my exams since I have relative higher ranking for all my subjects, while he's not that great. So he's being trying to study hard while I feel that I've being quite clinging and all. And now 3 exams are done, he's not pleasant at all about how he did in the exam, he also told me he feels depressed for letting his parents down etc.

But I don't know what to say to him. I feel everything I say just makes things worse. I also feel partially blamed for his bad performance in the exam as I am so clinging that may have caused him to lose focus etc.

SO now again, I need advice... What can I say to make him feel better but not give him false impressions (like saying he did great in a subject when I know its not true.. etc.) and should I try to have less contact with him during his last few HSC exams?

 

[maccaman]

Fist him.

Damnit, you beat me to the first reply.

I have no advice on this. You could blame yourself, and apoligise for taking up his time (don't say wasting)

 

[Nakashima]

Surely you can figure this out by yourself? If you can't cheer someone up without a step-by-step guide then you fail at relationships.

But I'll say one thing. If in the past 1.5 months you've broken up him and gotten back together 3 times, you should feel guilty as hell for whatever shitty marks he ends up with.

 

[alby]

breaking up 3 times in 1.5 months sounds like the relationship isnt going to last..espically not after the stress that the hsc puts on things

stop it now before you cause lots and lots more pain


and if you're using sex to try and keep the relationship going, thats really NOT going to work at all

 

[dieburndie]

You must give him space. Being clingy will make him hate you, especially at a time like this.
If you do this now, after HSC you will have a chance. If you put pressure (even nice "I'm sorry, let's talk" pressure)on him you will be a constant reminder of his failure afterwards. If he is anything like most guys, talking is the last thing he wants to do right now.
Give him space and tell him why.
This situation is common.

 

[Born Dancer]

Surely you can figure this out by yourself? If you can't cheer someone up without a step-by-step guide then you fail at relationships.

But I'll say one thing. If in the past 1.5 months you've broken up him and gotten back together 3 times, you should feel guilty as hell for whatever shitty marks he ends up with.

no wait, let's hear that again:


YOU FAIL AT RELATIONSHIPS.

 

[YvetteSullivan]

For the people who gave great advise, thankyou, I really appreciated.

I know I am a failure in relationships, that's why I feel insecure about myself with other people. for the 3 break ups, I didn't really explai properly... They all happened in the first 2 weeks, 2 of them werent really break up, but I wanted to have a break until we finish our HSC, but we just kept on getting back together. While the last break up.. I did feel ashamed for what I did.

But now I know how much I like him, I'll never going to make those mistakes anymore. But I just didn't know what I can do to help him. Because he's an oversea student, his family isn't around, so I wanted to make him feel I'll be there for him and help him to get thru. But I guess from your replies, it'd be better to let him handle things himself. I understand. Thanks for the advises.