Friendships (1 Viewer)

[AsyLum]

Guys? Backstab? Rofl, the hell?!

 

[jhakka]

How are you with your friends? Few and close? Superficial and many? A bit of both? Are most friendships we have destined to fail or drift apart? There are a world of people out there. Are you one of those who try and maintain them all or do you make friends and dump them? Whatever your intentions how have your friendships been and how much do you value your current friends? Do you see yourself still as friends in a years time? A decade? Your entire life?

I have a couple of each, with the ones I go out of my way to spend time with or communicate with being the close ones. The superficial ones are extremely tiring and often involve the other person taking everything and never giving (ie: it's all about them).

I am one who tries to maintain friendships, but I refuse to take any bullshit and can walk out of a situation that is obviously going to hell (particularly with those superficial ones). I don't like to make friends and dump them when I get bored with them or as soon as things look rocky. That's literally the reaction of a pre- or primary school kid, and says a lot about maturity.

I have known my best friend for about 15 years, and I can see that one lasting for years still. Possibly indefinitely. We went through school together, and even though we're at different unis, I still go golfing/paintballing/drinking/whatever with him occasionally. He's also my tech support when my computer screws up.

There are very few other school friendships that I have maintained or have a desire to. Apart from my best mate and my girlfriend, there are maybe only one or two people that I talk to or see regularly. The rest of my school friends haven't changed at all, despite almost all of them going on to uni, and they're incredibly boring. As fun as it was in high school, it's obvious that the fact that we were in the same environment was the only thing keeping it together.

Friends from uni are usually just people I see occasionally and have a chat about our subjects or whatever with. I don't see a problem with that.

I have some very good friends from BOS who I have had classes with or spend time with around campus, and they're awesome. The ones I have formed strong friendships with are ones I can see sticking around for some time yet.

Superficial friendships are the worst. They're good for a bit of fun, but don't expect them to last. Odds are the people don't care enough about you to stick around.



And for reference, these are Selman's (1981) stages of friendship. There might have been more, but I didn't get them down in the lecture (quoted from my notes, but with a couple of extra comments).

Stages 1 & 2:
-Preschoolers and [primary] school age.
-Companion of convenience [regardless of convenience to the other].
-One way partnership of fair-weather co-operators [ie: friends until things look difficult].
-More selfish than adult relationships.

Stage 3:
-Adolescence.
-[Development of] a friendship philosophy.
-Approx. 12-13 years.
-Intimate and mutually shared friendship.
-Awareness of continuity of relation[ship] and affective bond between close friends.

Stage 4:
-Autonomous interdependency.
-12-15 years.
-Belief that friendship can grow and be transformed through balance of dependence and independence.
-Continues through adulthood.

 

[Seryn]

Guys? Backstab? Rofl, the hell?!

Hmm, good point. Most guys aren't quite subtle enough for backstabbing and will revert instead to the equivalent of rushing foward in full view, with a huge-ass samurai sword, screaming their lungs out - or simply a kick in the balls.
Yup, masters of surpirise we are

 

[kami]

I must admit my experiences with people at TAFE and uni has led me to think I won't be lasting friends with many of them if only because I feel so utterly different from them. Some of the people are interesting though, but I won't pretend I'm much of a priority for them.

I have made some really good friends outside of school/TAFE/uni though that I trust a hell of alot and value greatly and I hope these friendships continue for as long as they want me as their friend. I'd never dump them either. I must admit though, that I misjudged some friendships as they weren't as strong as I thought and I'm not sure who I think less of in those instances... me for not seeing that I was merely part of a trend, or that this person was opportunistic enough to think in that way.

 

[nwatts]

Just about all of my close friends have come from my writing course at uni. Everyone gets to know eachother so quickly and so well, ends up becoming a very tightly knit little bunch.

I have a few friends from school who I see. But, I didn't have many close friends in school, and I'm happy to see them occasionally for a drink and a catch up but I don't make as much effort to stay in regular contact with them as I should.

I've also made great friends with a handful of bosers.

Superficial friendships aren't the type of thing I go for. I like to get to know someone properly. I hate that feeling of being surrounded by "friends" but feeling utterly alone, which happened in school days, but not anymore.

 

[SarahMary]

Close knit group of friends from highschool
Other friends i've picked up along the way that i'm not as close to, but would still consider friends.
And then a bunch of acquaintances from all over the place

 

[Born Dancer]

i have one really close female friend that lives here, but she is moving away to lismore next year

i have another really close female friend (who y'all may or may not know ) who lives in sydney

i catch up with my other friends maybe on a once a week basis, but we arent heaps close. we'll get in contact f there's something coming up, or we'll catch up if we see eachother, but that's about it.

i made new friends at uni at the start of this semester, but they have all sort of paired off and because i didnt really have anything in common with them (read: they all have shit taste in music ) i found it hard to get along with them.

very close to people such as nick and tom, but its different having guy friends.

im going to be all alone next yr

 

[Redgoddess]

How are you with your friends? Few and close? Superficial and many? A bit of both? Are most friendships we have destined to fail or drift apart? There are a world of people out there. Are you one of those who try and maintain them all or do you make friends and dump them? Whatever your intentions how have your friendships been and how much do you value your current friends? Do you see yourself still as friends in a years time? A decade? Your entire life?

I have a huge "group" at school, but really they're just aquaintances, there's not many people I feel would be there for me (or were there for me) when I really need(ed) them. I've got a couple of really really close friends, and I'd do anything for them, they really matter heaps to me, and I think I can see us staying friends for life, because as it is they're not in my group or classes so it's not so much on of those "friendship of convenience" things, we have to make an effort NOW to spend time together, and we do, which is awesome. I don't think I'll stay in contact with many people for long after starting uni - I'm too lazy when the vast majority of them are just aquaintances and circumstantial friends, bound together by attending the same school/classes.

 

[Oddy Nocki]

I swear i'm like 5 years old I have that "he's my friend because we built a sandcastle" mentality. So in that sense if I don't dislike someone they are friends.

That being said, I have a couple of close friends that will be for life. With these people, we might not talk for a year and it doesn't matter. When we see each other it's as if nothing has changed. We joke, converse and have a good time as if we saw each other last week. With these people I share stuff I never discuss with family. These people know my problems as I know there's.

While not my blood these people are my family.