Re: The UTS 'Secks and Welcome the New Students' Thread
rormonor said:
welcome back
how was the camp?
it was awesome:
monique's law/nerd camp summary:
"Why arent you dancing?"
"Broken arm?"
"Oh shut the fuck up, don't act like you're the only person with one arm here"
*points at amputee*
"GET ON THE FLOOR"
& various unorthodox comments such as
"I lost my knob virginity today"
"Knobby"
and
"I can't WAIT for 'Put your hands up for Detroit'"
The Wigi Board AKA OUIJA board being done two nights in a row.
Samantha says 3 hours into the session; "THE WOMAN IS AN IRAQI. SHES MUSLIM."
Asking the board completely irrelevant, stupid, fucked up things;
"Spirit, how many cocks did Christian take up the ass last week"
"Spirit, is Anna Nicole Smith in Heaven?"
"Spirit, are you a kinky old slut?"
Christian asking the board how many inches the guy hes seeing is, and following off with a 'C for cut, U for uncut please'.
Leaders having 'Camp cash' and how competitive everyone was for it- boys ending up licking whipped cream off eachothers nipples, getting rubbed againts Petro's half naked BUTTERED body, one guy stripping, another drinking a litre of gravy, all just for a piece of paper with a number on it.
Us asking the Wigi board if it wanted camp cash.
Wigi board saying No.
Wigi board spelling out 'FUK U.'
Johnny asking the Wigi board how many guns he had.
Random guy asking the Wigi board how many years it will take for global warming to affect our world, EVERYBODY screaming at him for wasting such a ggggggggay question on it. In turn, this guy is called 'Global warming' for the rest of his entire stay at camp.
Global Warming taking the Wigi board WAY too seriously and asking spirits to possess our bodies. This illegal move automatically disqualified him from participating in any Wiging on the last night as he was potentially dangerous.
Guy nicknamed Love Guru for having the DEEPEST voice eeeeeeeeeeever, but the squeakiest laugh.
Playing cards till 7am. People walking into the hall and seeing a table of zombies dealing at the table.
Strip poker.
Lucifer the ssssssssssssssssssslut.
'CAMP TRAMP'
Rumours about camp tramp fucking flying around.
My hair straightener being the bitch of our cabins.
Sleeping on the floor of the common room and having to stack the door with 500 chairs just in case Bonita decides to sleepwalk and make her way down a cliff.
People doing ANYTHING but lap dancing Ed for camp cash.
Tracking down the token leb male.
Arranging marriage with the token leb male.
Screaming, " SILAS IS SOOOOOO HOT " at 4am in the cabin next to Silas to get him happy.
Not being able to listen to speakers for more than 10 seconds.
Vincent falling asleep.
Apple's dumbfuck comments such as 'Which sport do most people die in? GOLF, FROM LIGHTENING STRIKES'
(which was the right answer but I still think is fucking ridiculous)
'Shes an IRAQI SPIRIT ISNT SHE?'
What did you NOT like about camp:
"STROGANAOFF."
"JAYNEE LAUGHS LIKE A COW BEING MILKED"
Describe your experience in one word:
"FUCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD"
"HEY VINCENT ARE YOU YOU USING THE RED PEN?"
George barging into our room topless at 4am and begging us to sleep.
Two guys rocking up to the game of strip poker in undies and still being rejected at the door.
"Hey Jaynee, doesnt this guy look like Caseer?"
Petro talking about spanking during dinner.
Johnny explaining all of his tattoos, and how he would smack his wife if she cheated on him.
Apple being so offended she leaves the conversation.
Johnny teaching Hayley and me about guns, standing up with a havaiana and demonstrating what firing a '2k range bullet' is like.
Global warming saying in the poshiest accent EVER; "I AM GOING TO GET SOME PUSSY TONIGHT"
Petro finding any excuse to expose his buns of steel.
Jaynee feeling like a slut after having to take A WHOLE THONG OFF.
Camp cash winning us shit all in the end, not being able to auction to save our lives, in turn losing the bid towards the chocolate fondu and letting it go to the rich bitches from north
" ITS BECAUSE WERE FROM THE WEST "
becoming our excuse for absolutely eveeeeeeeeeeeeerything.
Not being able to pick up on card games;
"QUEEN. SKIP. SQUIP?"
"FAILURE!"
Asian guy sweating at table from stress.
Lmfao I can't write anymore.
I loveeeeeee you
