omg i found the wrongest (not a word i know) fanfic on the portkey...
basically, harry went to stay with the grangers for the summer (before 5th year). the grangers are nudists. harry impregnates hermione and mrs granger. ginny, neville and susan bones have a threesome somewhere. it's absolutely disgusting. and the funniest part?? it's not a parody....it's completely serious!!!!! i mean, harry/hermione creeps me out normally...even low-key stuff, because it is completely OOC. but this was completely fucked.