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HELP! How do I write an outstanding personal statement for the Usyd Scholarship? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter zhongie
- Start date
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
you only know you got shortlisted if you ring them (well, i only knew coz i rang them). They send out first offers, and at the same time they send out rejection letters. If you get neither then you are shorlisted, and you get offerred one if someone else declines theirs (and a lot of ppl do, because most of the uber smart ppl get multiple offers from different unis).
well that was my experience anyway.
well that was my experience anyway.
Tommy_Lamp
Coco
This is the personal statement i sent in, its similar to ash's in format
hope it helps:
Oh and the dots werent in the letter, its just so i can show you how i formatted
|Address|.............................................................................................................|Date|
My name is |Name| and I am about to undertake the HSC examination. In both my studies and my life, I am hardworking, enthusiastic and constantly seeking to expand my knowledge. I am very outgoing, friendly and comfortable around people. I have wanted to study medicine for as long as I can remember, and my main goal has been to do so at Sydney University.
This is my second time sitting the HSC. I completed it last year (2003) at The Forest High School, but did not achieve my desired results. I learnt a valuable lesson from this, namely that if you work hard you will achieve your goal. So this year I began the HSC for a second time, this time at Brookvale TAFE. I will admit the prospect was daunting, but I knew that I had to do it to get a chance to study at the University of Sydney. I have been focused, working hard all year, and I believe that I am on track to reach my goal for next year.
Throughout my time at school, I have enjoyed setting myself the goal of obtaining academic success. My favourite subject in my junior years was Science, and in my senior years this love grew as I was able to study three different sciences, Biology, Chemistry and Physics. I have excelled in my internal assessments in these subjects, placing first in all three. I have also finished with a first place ranking in both Standard English and Mathematics.
Along with my studies I also lead an active life. I have played basketball since I was a child, playing five years representative for Manly, including five of the six years in my last high-school. I won many awards, including four Most Valuable Player Awards and one award for coaching a junior team while in Yr 12. I have been playing the piano for the last three years, reaching Grade 5 and will soon achieve Grade 6. In high-school I was involved in drama, performing in many school plays, and also helping organise many others. I have collected for, and assisted in organizing school based fundraising initiatives for many charities. In Year 11 my school asked me to visit Allambie Heights Public School to give a talk on science in high-school. It involved not only talking in front of hundreds of children, parents and teachers, but also performing scientific demonstrations in an appealing manner.
My career aspiration, as I have mentioned above, is to work in the field of medicine, hoping to specialise in Neurosurgery. To most people I have spoken to, the prospect of many years of university study is not appealing, but I see it as a chance to spend years studying what I love, and being assured of a career in my desired profession upon graduation. I have had experience in this field, completing my Yr10 work experience at Mona Vale hospital. For 1 week, 6am to 5pm, I assisted nurses and doctors in many different wards, including Aged Care, Paediatrics, Day Surgery, the Emergency Department and Rehabilitation. I learnt that medicine is not just about treating patients, but about understanding the patient and being able to communicate with them, whilst making their stay as comfortable and pleasant as possible. I had first-hand experiences with taking care of incapacitated patients, preparing for surgery and assisting in rehabilitation.
Finally, let me just say that I have worked extremely hard to get the chance to study at Sydney University, including completing the HSC for a second time. I believe that I would make a valuable student at your great university, and be able to achieve my goals.
Sincerely,
|Signature|
|Name|
hope it helps:
Oh and the dots werent in the letter, its just so i can show you how i formatted
|Address|.............................................................................................................|Date|
My name is |Name| and I am about to undertake the HSC examination. In both my studies and my life, I am hardworking, enthusiastic and constantly seeking to expand my knowledge. I am very outgoing, friendly and comfortable around people. I have wanted to study medicine for as long as I can remember, and my main goal has been to do so at Sydney University.
This is my second time sitting the HSC. I completed it last year (2003) at The Forest High School, but did not achieve my desired results. I learnt a valuable lesson from this, namely that if you work hard you will achieve your goal. So this year I began the HSC for a second time, this time at Brookvale TAFE. I will admit the prospect was daunting, but I knew that I had to do it to get a chance to study at the University of Sydney. I have been focused, working hard all year, and I believe that I am on track to reach my goal for next year.
Throughout my time at school, I have enjoyed setting myself the goal of obtaining academic success. My favourite subject in my junior years was Science, and in my senior years this love grew as I was able to study three different sciences, Biology, Chemistry and Physics. I have excelled in my internal assessments in these subjects, placing first in all three. I have also finished with a first place ranking in both Standard English and Mathematics.
Along with my studies I also lead an active life. I have played basketball since I was a child, playing five years representative for Manly, including five of the six years in my last high-school. I won many awards, including four Most Valuable Player Awards and one award for coaching a junior team while in Yr 12. I have been playing the piano for the last three years, reaching Grade 5 and will soon achieve Grade 6. In high-school I was involved in drama, performing in many school plays, and also helping organise many others. I have collected for, and assisted in organizing school based fundraising initiatives for many charities. In Year 11 my school asked me to visit Allambie Heights Public School to give a talk on science in high-school. It involved not only talking in front of hundreds of children, parents and teachers, but also performing scientific demonstrations in an appealing manner.
My career aspiration, as I have mentioned above, is to work in the field of medicine, hoping to specialise in Neurosurgery. To most people I have spoken to, the prospect of many years of university study is not appealing, but I see it as a chance to spend years studying what I love, and being assured of a career in my desired profession upon graduation. I have had experience in this field, completing my Yr10 work experience at Mona Vale hospital. For 1 week, 6am to 5pm, I assisted nurses and doctors in many different wards, including Aged Care, Paediatrics, Day Surgery, the Emergency Department and Rehabilitation. I learnt that medicine is not just about treating patients, but about understanding the patient and being able to communicate with them, whilst making their stay as comfortable and pleasant as possible. I had first-hand experiences with taking care of incapacitated patients, preparing for surgery and assisting in rehabilitation.
Finally, let me just say that I have worked extremely hard to get the chance to study at Sydney University, including completing the HSC for a second time. I believe that I would make a valuable student at your great university, and be able to achieve my goals.
Sincerely,
|Signature|
|Name|
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
nice work! thats pretty impressive, especially the fact that you are doing the HSC twice. Good luck!
braindrainedAsh
Journalist
Yeah that's really good Tommy, good luck with it!
thaoroxy2001
Bored member
One of my dad's friend was telling me that he knows a guy who would help me with all my scholarship stuff...so I've been talking to him online for a while...and only just then did I realise that he was once a person on the judging panel...Damn! if I knew that early I would have asked him more questions... I already sent my application!!! and all I asked him was how I should attach my stuff together!!!!.......AAAHHHH!!! I....D...I...O...T!!!!
Oh yeah.....GOOD LUCK TOMMY!!
Oh yeah.....GOOD LUCK TOMMY!!
Tommy_Lamp
Coco
lol thanks people
thaoroxy2001
Bored member
When you are offered a scholarship do u have to do an interview?
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
nope, they just send you a cheque. If its one that lasts more than a year though you need to send them a copy of your course results every year because most require you to keep a distinction average. In some cases they automatically check your results though, depends on the scholarship.
thaoroxy2001
Bored member
Hey Mambomeg about what time do they send out the rejection and first round offer letters...is it after the UAIs are released?