help with friend (1 Viewer)

[xxshatteredxx]

Okay

so im good friends with this chick who keeps going out with guys that really arnt good enough and are total dickheads. I dont want to say anything cause then she might not talk to me, but the guys she gets with are losers.
I dont want to see her hurt as i care about her.

how do i say something?

 

[Dreamerish*~]

She probably won't listen to you if you advice her against them.

She should have learnt her lesson by now.

 

[james_chappo]

Be a dutiful friend and tell her that you disapprove of her boyfriends, but tell her it's own business and you don't want it to come between your friendship. Hopefully she will learn her own lesson.

 

[xxshatteredxx]

She probably won't listen to you if you advice her against them.

She should have learnt her lesson by now.

she should have.
is there a nice way to tell her?

 

[james_chappo]

The only way to tell her nicely is to speak in a gentle, caring tone of voice while still telling her exactly how you feel.

 

[xxshatteredxx]

The only way to tell her nicely is to speak in a gentle, caring tone of voice while still telling her exactly how you feel.

so in person? not over msn or the phone?

 

[santaslayer]

if shes a close friend i dont see why she wouldnt at least listen to u.

 

[james_chappo]

so in person? not over msn or the phone?

Well if you bring it up with her in person it would indicate to her that her happiness and wellbeing is very important to you. Also, she can't block you or hang up on you or anything without you being able to finish what you were saying. I'd tell her in person.

 

[niteshade1312]

just be a good friend and be there for her. I have a friend like that, but it's soo hard to say something so i am just there for her when she needs me

 

[james_chappo]

There's no harm in actually bringing it up with her though. You'd feel awful if in the future she realises and regrets dating these boys,but didn't say anything to her at the time and she says something to you like "Why didn't you give me advice or warn me about this?"

 

[Shell]

well... if it was me, i'd just come out and say why the fuck to you date these losers who hurt you? but thats me. im terribly blunt and direct, and have no tact whatsoever. My best friend has been going out with the biggest lowlife dickhead for 2 years now. he caused her anorexia, he steals her money, hes obssessed with the fact that shes cheating on him everytime she goes out with us girls, and i know for a FACT that he's cheated on her. i tell her each and everyday to get rid of him. he is lowering her quality of life. she will go now where in life if she stays with him. hes a really heavy pot smoker and wont even quit for her. she comes second to fkn drugs! god shes messed up. i dont know why she wont leave him!!!!!! she could have any other man on this planet in a second!

 

[bscienceboi]

You should never try to work out relationship probelsm or issues relating to your friends over MSN. People rely on the internet too much these days

Body language can be important.

 

[xxshatteredxx]

thanks for your replies guys
i need to see her in person

 

[*~Dazed~*]

Just be careful how you word it because it may backfire and she may blow it off and think you are just jealous and that you have a thing for her and then back off from you... or something.

 

[bernz]

And if that doesn't work, just be a friend when she needs you. She'll learn by herself, eventually...

 

[loquasagacious]

Do NOT raise this with her if she is currently in an (allegedly) bad relationship, it will only drive her closer to him.

Raise this when she is freshly broken up and remind her when shes showing signs of interest in a new jerk.

 

[spank_meh]

i don't think she'll entirely realise what she's doing untill "she open her eyes" and "sees true colours"... and if you do tell her and she rejects you... the moment she'll remember you [yourwords] will be when she actually finds out the truth herself...

the worst thing that can happen is her being heatbroken. but you know what sometimes the experience is worth it.. hahah

 

[Frigid]

let them fall. again. and again. don't be such a nice guy.

volenti non fit injuria.

 

[spank_meh]

other thing.. what do u do when you are told not to do things?? you go and do them, don't u? well if you encourage her to umm go out with that guy there is a slight chance that the things won't work out.. she will also see how much you care about her.. argh i duno its just a suggestion no satisfaction guaranteed...