Help.. (1 Viewer)

[eternity_]

I have a problem and i was just hoping some people can give me advice on what to do...

My gf of 1 n a hlaf years just dumped me for another guy.. (worst possible time) but the thing is i really want her back.. but i dont want to make her feel bad, i dont wanna hurt her the way she did to me because i still love and care about her.. but at the same time i want to get over her, so i can actually study.. i a so confused.. i cant get over her.. but a part of me wants to, so i can study.. another part of me wants her back.. yeah i know i sound like a looser, but who cares.. im fucked up in the head now anyways..

some advice please.. thanks!

 

[pRiNCesS..!!]

studying might help you get your mind off her..plus if she dumpled you for another guy,mate its over..if she is throwing that away for another guy its a good indicator she is gone!try and do something that will take your mind off her...sorry i cannot be of more help! good luck with everything though!

 

[Frigid]

"...Venus otia amat; qui finem quaeris amoris,
Cedit amor rebus: res age, tutus eris."

"...Venus loves idleness: you who seek to end love,
love gives way to business: be busy, you’ll be safe."

Ovid, Remedia Amoris, lines 143-144

besides, she's dumped you for another guy. there's no reason to pine away for something that is not and will not be yours.

now go hit the books.

 

[Project]

As pRiNCesS..!! said, if she dumped you its probably a sign that she's over with it.

"never try to keep someone that does not want to keep you"

As a few people might say, put it out of your mind for the next fortnight, study your butt off, then have 3 months to do whatever you like with it

 

[iambored]

i don't think this will be easily worked out in a week so try and study and work it out later

 

[chelzmalee]

I know what you mean, and everytime you see her it'll hurt alot. Try to keep your mind off her by surrounding yourself with your friends and study (!!!). Avoid places where you guys used to hang out, but don't avoid her totally.

If you see her, give her a quick smile but don't get into conversation.. You'll only cause yourself more pain. Don't set yourself up to get hurt more by going to see her or calling her. Just give it time and keep yourself busy.

 

[Ghandi10]

Mate just study your ass off and nail that guy in the HSC.

 

[AsyLum]

I have a problem and i was just hoping some people can give me advice on what to do...

My gf of 1 n a hlaf years just dumped me for another guy.. (worst possible time) but the thing is i really want her back.. but i dont want to make her feel bad, i dont wanna hurt her the way she did to me because i still love and care about her.. but at the same time i want to get over her, so i can actually study.. i a so confused.. i cant get over her.. but a part of me wants to, so i can study.. another part of me wants her back.. yeah i know i sound like a looser, but who cares.. im fucked up in the head now anyways..

some advice please.. thanks!

Having been in a similar position, the best advice i can give you is that the world doesn't work like teen movies, most girls won't come back running after you do something to try and get her back. Rather, they'll go even further into their shell and think that you can't let go, and the truth is, that for a while you won't be able to.

She seems to have resigned herself for a while in going out with this guy, so it doesnt seem like she did this on impulse. You seem to understand this concept of not wanting to play the emotional strings on her, but thinking and talking about it is completely opposite to the actions you do. Don't let that escape your thoughts, and don't seem like a toss to her. Keep yourself busy, you don't have time for this stuff, the real world and uni (if you so wish to go there) provides a plentiful supply of both sexes and you'll soon wonder why you were so hung up on her

 

[MaryJane]

I did this, and trust me, when she dumps you for someone else, it would have been though out (and probably day-dreamed about) for a long time. Its a serious move, and she most probably wouldnt have done it just for kicks, especially after being together for such a long time.

I'd say try and move on. It will be hard to study, thats for sure, but you've got to try. There is no point crying over split milk; if she didnt want to be with you, she's really done you a favour in that she didnt cheat or pull you along for a ride. Just stay away from her because, in my experience, she wont want you around her at all while she's trying to fashion this new life for herself, she may even be bitter and resentful if you try and push yourself into her life. Just give it time.

 

[arooshika...]

i think she has used u!

 

[AsyLum]

I did this, and trust me, when she dumps you for someone else, it would have been though out (and probably day-dreamed about) for a long time. Its a serious move, and she most probably wouldnt have done it just for kicks, especially after being together for such a long time.

I'd say try and move on. It will be hard to study, thats for sure, but you've got to try. There is no point crying over split milk; if she didnt want to be with you, she's really done you a favour in that she didnt cheat or pull you along for a ride. Just stay away from her because, in my experience, she wont want you around her at all while she's trying to fashion this new life for herself, she may even be bitter and resentful if you try and push yourself into her life. Just give it time.

Just on that, how long do you think is the "cooling" period for things like this?

Because the hook-up time seems quite fast.

 

[repz]

Forget about getting back if she did this, she was planning it for a while so theres no real hope. what your gon do is get a sympathy im sorry but im interested in this guy now
i have no feelings for u.
move on

 

[MaryJane]

Just on that, how long do you think is the "cooling" period for things like this?

Because the hook-up time seems quite fast.

"Cooling" period as in how long until he should contact her? I'd say a few months is appropriate, because both the dumped and dumpee would have moved on. If not, there are some deeper issues they have to solve. I remember I didnt want anything to do with my ex for the first few months, but that may have been made worse by the fact he would not stop calling me, coming over inappropriately, trying to kiss me etc. which just pissed me off more. I hardly ever see him now, if I do, I'm plolite, but dont go out of my way to make plans to see him. For me, an ex is an ex for a reason.

 

[The_highwayman]

Mate just study your ass off and nail that guy in the HSC.

LOL, that could be interpreted 2 ways

 

[mr_brightside]

Well, it was really inconsiderate off her to dump you at this time...
and off all things, for another guy...

but as many people have said; you cant get someone back that doesnt want to be with you.

go study
kickass in the exams
go have fun with friends

 

[Ghandi10]

LOL, that could be interpreted 2 ways

I'm sure that you get the picture.

 

[SlaminSammy]

GET OVER IT... we know its hard... but try too... theres thousands of girls who are out there that need an attractive man... Chances are if you were in a relationship for 1 year or whatever... you were no longer attractive to her. you could have been acting in a different way.. She may have found someone that was more attractive - funny, protective, not insecure... im not talking about all the reasons.. ive said them in What girls (really) want check that thread out - so when you find a girl who does give you signs shes attracted to you - umm one interesting thing that ive noticed is that her eyes will dialate + she will give you cues - keep doing the same sorta things that you did to get her interested. That should keep her quite!

P.S. Work on yourself abit. like body language - that can be a killer. IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY ATTRACTIVE BODY LANGUAGE - ask a few girls on the street- they should be happy to help unless their busy - also a good conversation starter as soooooo many men dont know about the significance of body language. (ITS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT) i dont think i can spelll....

 

[Dreamerish*~]

Worst time indeed.

You need to focus on your HSC first. For the time being, forget about winning her back, and bury yourself under your textbooks - it might distract you from her (studying distracting you from girls, what irony ).

Have lots of contact with your friends, it works wonders.

 

[mr_brightside]

(studying distracting you from girls, what irony ).

ha! ....i just cant keep my eyes of study though















i wish